Dealing with anxiety sober
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 45
I'm sorry to hear about what happened last night. That said, the outcome of last night notwithstanding, there are two separate issues that you raised in your original post.
The first issue was about managing to avoid the temptation to drink in social situations. I think that after last night you have a good grasp of how difficult this can be, so I won't add my perspective here.
The second issue is about overcoming social anxiety when dealing with social situations without drinking, and this is the issue I wanted to address. I wanted to say that when you do feel comfortable enough with your sobriety to attend social situations in the future - and it may be a while before you can feel such comfort without running up against issue #1 - you may have to "relearn" how to attend such events.
Just like when you first learned how to deal with social situations as a teenager or young adult, you're now going to have to relearn how to live a rich, sober social life. It may not be entirely comfortable at first, but work at it, just as you would any skill that you are mastering. Figure out what situations make you comfortable and which ones you'd prefer to avoid. Find out who your "crowd" is. Just as the drinkers tend to seek out and find the other drinkers, now that you're sober you will need to figure out which people you're going to want to socialize with and what sorts of things they'll be doing. The important thing is, if it takes you a little while to find your groove, don't let that bother you. Every moment of every day you will be learning and growing in your sobriety. Take it as fast or slow as you are comfortable with.
In my opinion, part of living a sober life is really living a sober life. That is to say that you should go out and enjoy yourself in whatever way makes you happy (without drinking of course). For a while you're going to want to avoid temptations to drink, but once you are committed to sobriety, you're going to want to go out and have fun and experience life to the fullest. The good news is, you can lead a richer, fuller life without drinking.
The first issue was about managing to avoid the temptation to drink in social situations. I think that after last night you have a good grasp of how difficult this can be, so I won't add my perspective here.
The second issue is about overcoming social anxiety when dealing with social situations without drinking, and this is the issue I wanted to address. I wanted to say that when you do feel comfortable enough with your sobriety to attend social situations in the future - and it may be a while before you can feel such comfort without running up against issue #1 - you may have to "relearn" how to attend such events.
Just like when you first learned how to deal with social situations as a teenager or young adult, you're now going to have to relearn how to live a rich, sober social life. It may not be entirely comfortable at first, but work at it, just as you would any skill that you are mastering. Figure out what situations make you comfortable and which ones you'd prefer to avoid. Find out who your "crowd" is. Just as the drinkers tend to seek out and find the other drinkers, now that you're sober you will need to figure out which people you're going to want to socialize with and what sorts of things they'll be doing. The important thing is, if it takes you a little while to find your groove, don't let that bother you. Every moment of every day you will be learning and growing in your sobriety. Take it as fast or slow as you are comfortable with.
In my opinion, part of living a sober life is really living a sober life. That is to say that you should go out and enjoy yourself in whatever way makes you happy (without drinking of course). For a while you're going to want to avoid temptations to drink, but once you are committed to sobriety, you're going to want to go out and have fun and experience life to the fullest. The good news is, you can lead a richer, fuller life without drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
I'm sorry that it went down like that, but since it did, let it be a learning experience.
Recovery is a dead serious endeavour, and sometimes you just have to be honest about your intentions, and assessing what you can tolerate. It's sometimes simply too difficult early on to be around old situations, until we get a bit more stable.
Don't beat yourself up too bad, we've likely all been there, myself certainly.
Recovery is a dead serious endeavour, and sometimes you just have to be honest about your intentions, and assessing what you can tolerate. It's sometimes simply too difficult early on to be around old situations, until we get a bit more stable.
Don't beat yourself up too bad, we've likely all been there, myself certainly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 283
Thanks for the support I feel disgusted with myself anytime I let myself drink. I'm so much happier without drinking,I've been doing it for so long and that scares me because I don't want to be a slave to alcohol any longer. :/
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