gettingbetter64

I have regular anxiety and I have mild social anxiety. I'm going to a show this Saturday that I have had tickets to for about 5 months I'm going with two friends one knows I'm trying not to drink and is supportive the other is a big drinker and I know she will be drinking heavy thru out the night. I've drank because of my anxiety to help me loosen up, but I don't want to do that this time I'm finishing day 8 in about 20 minutes and I'm feeling so good I don't want to think about alcohol. Does anyone have any advice for how they dealt with anxiety or social anxiety without alcohol? I know I won't be pressured to drink it's just I know I'm going to be around it and that worries me.

DoubleBarrel

Sometimes you have to avoid people places and things in early sobriety.
It may be the most important life saving thing that you ever do, to quit.

If that means missing out on some social events for a while, it's worth it.

If you absolutely have to go, have a plan. Have someone with you who is supportive, have an exit strategy if things go sideways, have alternative food and drink, visualize beforehand, but not worrying, visualize success. Remind yourself what the outcome of drinking was and why you quit.
But seriously, if it stresses you out that much, just don't go.

gettingbetter64

I think I need to stop over thinking it and eat a big meal before I go, my cravings almost completely diminish when I'm full, and just have a soda to sip on, I need to learn how to overcome my anxiety. A lot of people have anxiety and they don't drink because of it.

justinJustQuit

Depending on the show, I always find that talking mostly to one person and sitting down helps. If I can find one person that isn't drinking, I can focus my attention on their conversation.

It's what I do to cope. Family functions and holidays are the exact same thing for me as shows are for you. I'm the "rich son that made it out". (I'm not rich, but I'm also not a farmer) I always feel awkward around them because they're always drinking. So in short, I don't go like DoubleBarrel said.

1newcreation

DB stole all my thunder! I'm serious-was gonna say exact same thing! Loh
In short, do what will make you peaceful & live in own skin the next day

gettingbetter64

I've had these tickets for a while now and I thought about not going but I would be upset with myself if I didn't. I want to remember this experience if I drink I won't. The worst thing that happens because of my anxiety is that I'll sweat more and my face might get flushed which is embarrassing but it's no reason to drink over.

MyTime86

Drink lots of water, keep the water bottle in your had an focus on the show

MariahGayle

Gettingbetter - congrats on 8 days. This won't help you in the short-term, the concert, but in the long run you might check out a book/workbook called "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook" By Edmund Bourne. It was suggested to me by a counselor in dealing with my anxiety & social phobia. I'm finding it very helpful. Purchased mine from Amazon. Take care of yourself

gettingbetter64

Thanks for the responses, I'm going to look up the anxiety and phobia workbook now!

anykey

What I would do and often do- is I tell the host- please dont expect me to stay the whole time.

Once I reached my limit= (I have panic attacks) I politely excuse myself.

With my family it is a givin= they know that hey- anykey is not going to stay the whole time.

99.9% of people understand. You dont even really have to give a reason-even the "I have alot of my mind" should suffice.

Also if someone pushes booze- you can tell them you are watching your blood sugars.

doggonecarl

You seem determined to go, and I know what a victory it would be if you went and you didn't drink. But you've been a member of SR for several months; you have struggled to stay sober; you currently have eight days sober.

Social situations make you want to drink.

Answer seems pretty clear to me. Do what you have to do to protect your sobriety and that might mean not going. Offer a friend the ticket; they are bound to appreciate it. Or scalp it.

My suggestion only. Good luck on your recovery journey, whatever you decide.

Dee74

at 8 days sober, friend a heavy drinker....I wouldn't go gettingbetter.

I know it's not the answer you want to hear, but I put my head in the lions mouth often enough to know that I needed to safeguard my recovery for a while.

Take some time out to grow some 'sobriety muscles' - when you're sure sobriety is what you prefer, then you can go anywhere

D

gettingbetter64

I've had these tickets for so long and I've wanted to see this person perform for even longer. I know I'll be really testing my strength tomorrow night but I'm really set on going weather it's the best choice or not.

Bruce292

For me, meditation aka mindfulness has been a huge part of dealing with anxiety. It takes a lot of dedication and a lot of time. I guess it's a little bit like going to the gym in a way. Anyway, it has helped me tackle my anxiety and the constant negative internal chatter that was continually in my brain. Not a quick fix but one that goes the distance.

gettingbetter64

One of my friends is driving tonight and the one that is a heavy drinker said she's not drinking tonight because she had to much last night. Now I don't think ill be tempted at all. At least I hope not

DoubleBarrel

Thinking about you. Let us know how your evening goes?

xxEllaxx00

I have a similar situation, and the combination of the rawness from having stopped drinking so recently, with the anxiety issues you finally have to face up to can be very overwhelming...and while it may be easier to avoid such anxiety-inducing locations, I think it's most positive and effective to start exposing yourself to these situations, one by one, little by little. It's just like putting training wheels back on and soon hopefully you'll be able to cope better. But don't shoot yourself in the foot and be unprepared, introduce yourself to some anxiety-zapping strategies! This can means calming beverage like tea, adequate rest, having supportive understanding people to sometimes attend these things with. Listening to music, positive affirmations/self talk, physical exercises (such as tensing muscles/limbs then releasing)

gettingbetter64

I didn't do so well last night, there was only beer and wine at the event and I gave myself permission to drink, I had two beers, then drank more when I got home. I know you were all right I shouldn't have gone. I feel so stupid that I keep on posting on this forum about my continuing drinking. Yesterday would have been day 10, I feel sick as a dog today :/

RocketQueen

I was in a similar situation early on in my sobriety. I also asked these good people if I should go, and everyone told me I shouldn't. After battling everyone with "but, but, but...." I ended up not going. See, at the end of the day my sobriety was more important to me. I had to put it above everything else if I wanted to succeed.

Having said that, you need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Perhaps take this experience as a lesson as you enter day 1 again. Take a mental photo of how you look and feel today and use it as inspiration to not let it happen again.

Good luck!

Amazingglazier

Ok now get your butt back on track as your not waiting to see how anyone performs but you now! Tommorrow will be a new beginning and you learned what will happen so listen to your heart next time ! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby