Class of April 2014 Part 3
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Its hump day. Exciting feelings of drinking n partying this weekend crept into my mind. But im still trying to be sober. I look at it as I need my sundays to start being my prep days to make my work week run smoother n I dnt want to lazily waste them anymore! Whats been helping is I found an article that says to write out how to enjoy things you used to do on alcohol without alcohol. But also to know boundaries. Sofor me ill enjoy having company over but stay away from bars/clubs for now. I at least can get my dancing fix through zumba at my gym!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by MariahGayle 
Good Morning All 
ST...I think the advice you have received from others here RE: the situation with your Mom...about checking out Al-Anon is a good idea for you. You could definitely use that support. I hope you give it some thought. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. Lilac - Hope today is a better day.....don't take anything He said while drinking "to heart"...you know how that is. Take care of you Everyone else....Have a good day......ride the waves here with us. Mary
ST...I think the advice you have received from others here RE: the situation with your Mom...about checking out Al-Anon is a good idea for you. You could definitely use that support. I hope you give it some thought. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. Lilac - Hope today is a better day.....don't take anything He said while drinking "to heart"...you know how that is. Take care of you Everyone else....Have a good day......ride the waves here with us. Mary
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Like I'm trying to read all this info, and work the two jobs, maintain sobriety for myself, take care of my mother, maintain a relationship with my gf and her family, make sure I don't miss any payments or bills, find time for sleep/showers/and shaving (cause that could honestly be anywhere for me now) keep the few friends I have, keep at least my clothes clean, and then I have to add on an entire new homework assignment on how to deal with my drunk mom, I donno it's just getting a bit relentless for me. Amongst all this I'm supposed to be healing myself and actually trying to find some sort of happiness?!? I donno...I see why I kept myself in the party zone. I'm having a hard day/days. I'm sorry 8(
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 281
Hi April crew, I'm on day 3...
Over the last few days, I've considered asking to join your class, but feel like waiting for the May class to get a few more sober days. I've joined a few classes before and always bailed when I drank. It's not the class, it's me...like I feel more guilt/shame when I fail and then don't come back. Then, I just lurk.....in fact, I've done mostly lurking at SR....hmmmmm
Over the last few days, I've considered asking to join your class, but feel like waiting for the May class to get a few more sober days. I've joined a few classes before and always bailed when I drank. It's not the class, it's me...like I feel more guilt/shame when I fail and then don't come back. Then, I just lurk.....in fact, I've done mostly lurking at SR....hmmmmm
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 313
Hey everyone!
Just checking in for the day came to the library to get some new books, and then have a day full of laundry ahead of me! I cleaned out my closet over the weekend and found items that I forgot even existed! Hopefully today and tomorrow I can get around to applying for more jobs...I sent my resume out to a friend's workplace at her suggestion, for a technical writing position, and I'm starting to get discouraged because I haven't heard from them yet, but I figure I might as well start applying for other positions regardless because money is tight and rent is due, friends. Although my husband has a job interview Friday, so fingers crossed!
Adna, you mentioned that I may feel being disloyal to my dad or feel like I'm not covering for him anymore...which is true, to a point. It's just complicated because throughout my teens and early 20s he and I weren't close AT ALL....there were periods off and on where I wouldn't speak to him for months due to his drinking and addict behavior. About four years ago, we finally started having a better relationship and he walked me down the aisle when I got married, something I never expected, yet meant a lot to both of us. My husband and I moved into my dad's neighborhood due to the low cost of rent and plus like I said my dad and I were closer by then...coincidentally (or, in hindsight, maybe not so much), hubs and I were pretty far gone by this point in terms of our own drinking. We became drinking buddies with my dad, so the things that used to bother me didn't anymore....like constant rides to the liquor store or the fact that there was always alcohol around. It was the best case scenario for my dad. And then my husband checked himself into rehab and I started going to AA with him. We've both been sober for roughly a month now and so I'm having to make drastic adjustments with my dad. And my dad is a great manipulator...he knows how to make me feel guilty if I tell him not to bring beer to our house, or make me feel like a jerk if I don't visit him every day. He's very selfish and I've learned through AA, group therapy, and SR that many of his behaviors are classic addict behaviors...the manipulation, selfishness, etc. and it doesn't help that his brothers, sisters and friends all enable him...so me refusing now to do things for him drives him nuts. And as much as I know he says and does certain things to try and guilt me into enabling him, I still end up feeling bad when I reject his requests. Anyway, like I said previously, my husband is really pushing for me to try Al-Anon. I'm scared but think I need it at this point.
Well...enough about me. How is everyone else? It's crazy to think that April is almost over! Everyone stay strong! I have faith in all of us, I really do!
Just checking in for the day
came to the library to get some new books, and then have a day full of laundry ahead of me! I cleaned out my closet over the weekend and found items that I forgot even existed! Hopefully today and tomorrow I can get around to applying for more jobs...I sent my resume out to a friend's workplace at her suggestion, for a technical writing position, and I'm starting to get discouraged because I haven't heard from them yet, but I figure I might as well start applying for other positions regardless because money is tight and rent is due, friends. Although my husband has a job interview Friday, so fingers crossed!Adna, you mentioned that I may feel being disloyal to my dad or feel like I'm not covering for him anymore...which is true, to a point. It's just complicated because throughout my teens and early 20s he and I weren't close AT ALL....there were periods off and on where I wouldn't speak to him for months due to his drinking and addict behavior. About four years ago, we finally started having a better relationship and he walked me down the aisle when I got married, something I never expected, yet meant a lot to both of us. My husband and I moved into my dad's neighborhood due to the low cost of rent and plus like I said my dad and I were closer by then...coincidentally (or, in hindsight, maybe not so much), hubs and I were pretty far gone by this point in terms of our own drinking. We became drinking buddies with my dad, so the things that used to bother me didn't anymore....like constant rides to the liquor store or the fact that there was always alcohol around. It was the best case scenario for my dad. And then my husband checked himself into rehab and I started going to AA with him. We've both been sober for roughly a month now and so I'm having to make drastic adjustments with my dad. And my dad is a great manipulator...he knows how to make me feel guilty if I tell him not to bring beer to our house, or make me feel like a jerk if I don't visit him every day. He's very selfish and I've learned through AA, group therapy, and SR that many of his behaviors are classic addict behaviors...the manipulation, selfishness, etc. and it doesn't help that his brothers, sisters and friends all enable him...so me refusing now to do things for him drives him nuts. And as much as I know he says and does certain things to try and guilt me into enabling him, I still end up feeling bad when I reject his requests. Anyway, like I said previously, my husband is really pushing for me to try Al-Anon. I'm scared but think I need it at this point.
Well...enough about me. How is everyone else? It's crazy to think that April is almost over! Everyone stay strong! I have faith in all of us, I really do!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
I would love to join, too. Day 1 I hope, today.
Should I post in the 24 hour group too?
It's noon where I am. Not my toughest hours yet but still....this time yesterday I had already taken a couple nips with lunch.
Should I post in the 24 hour group too?
It's noon where I am. Not my toughest hours yet but still....this time yesterday I had already taken a couple nips with lunch.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 313
Welcome gator girl and applekat! Apple, the 24 hour club isn't mandatory but I've personally found it to be immensely helpful in my sobriety! It's a way to hold yourself accountable, just one day at a time. When I first joined SR in march, I had some slips...but once I made 24 hour commitments, I've successfully gone 23 days without drinking or using. For some reason making that promise every morning has made the difference for me. Plus, there are always great inspirational posts by Deeker and other members, and they celebrate weekly, monthly and annual sober anniversaries which I find to be really cool. Best of luck to all the newcomers....I'm biased, but I think our class is the bees knees!!! Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi all,
Went for an 11 mile walk today. This would normally have been an excuse to buy some wine and veg out, but today I have some grape juice with sparkling water, very nice.
I've noticed a few grumbles from my gremlins today, so I'm guessing there might be a bit of focused work to do over the next few days.
I'm trying to remember what I used to enjoy before the booze took all of my joy away. Bit by bit I intend to 're-introduce some of these things back into my life.
ST, your list of adventures has inspired me, I'm going to see if I can start a list of my own "cool" things to do over the next few months.
It's evening here, this is my witching hour, but I'll happily guzzle some more grape juice, and forgo an evening of stupor.
Hope everyone's focused and fabulous.
Went for an 11 mile walk today. This would normally have been an excuse to buy some wine and veg out, but today I have some grape juice with sparkling water, very nice.
I've noticed a few grumbles from my gremlins today, so I'm guessing there might be a bit of focused work to do over the next few days.
I'm trying to remember what I used to enjoy before the booze took all of my joy away. Bit by bit I intend to 're-introduce some of these things back into my life.
ST, your list of adventures has inspired me, I'm going to see if I can start a list of my own "cool" things to do over the next few months.
It's evening here, this is my witching hour, but I'll happily guzzle some more grape juice, and forgo an evening of stupor.
Hope everyone's focused and fabulous.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Welcome, Applekat. Why don't you take the I hope part out of that sentence, and tell yourself that today IS day one.
MrsBee, I was just speculating when I suggested you might feel disloyal. I didn't know anything of the history of your relationship. It sounds very complicated. I can only imagine how hard it is to focus on taking care of yourself while your dad pushes you in the other direction. My mother is a pro when it comes to throwing guilt around, so I get that. Sometimes I can deflect it, or turn it back around on her, but not always. Parents shouldn't be so much work, at least not until the diaper years.
MrsBee, I was just speculating when I suggested you might feel disloyal. I didn't know anything of the history of your relationship. It sounds very complicated. I can only imagine how hard it is to focus on taking care of yourself while your dad pushes you in the other direction. My mother is a pro when it comes to throwing guilt around, so I get that. Sometimes I can deflect it, or turn it back around on her, but not always. Parents shouldn't be so much work, at least not until the diaper years.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Seattle
Posts: 9
Hi guys. Day 3. I managed to go a stretch before and actually got to the point where I didn't think about having a drink all day long. I don't remember when that kicked in tho -- feels like it never will. Sitting here obsessing about it for the last 72 hours.
I jumped on the elliptical last night for the first time in a while. Felt good to get a sweat going. Sleep has been all over the map but its sure nice to wake up without a hangover.
Finding a lot of strength in reading what everyone is sharing here - nice to not feel alone in this.
I jumped on the elliptical last night for the first time in a while. Felt good to get a sweat going. Sleep has been all over the map but its sure nice to wake up without a hangover.
Finding a lot of strength in reading what everyone is sharing here - nice to not feel alone in this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by Adnamaeel
Welcome, Applekat. Why don't you take the I hope part out of that sentence, and tell yourself that today IS day one. MrsBee, I was just speculating when I suggested you might feel disloyal. I didn't know anything of the history of your relationship. It sounds very complicated. I can only imagine how hard it is to focus on taking care of yourself while your dad pushes you in the other direction. My mother is a pro when it comes to throwing guilt around, so I get that. Sometimes I can deflect it, or turn it back around on her, but not always. Parents shouldn't be so much work, at least not until the diaper years.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 313
Adna thanks for your input...I totally don't expect anyone to fully "get" my situation and my past couple posts are honesty the first time I've shared any of this with anyone other than my husband. But your responses help SO much, as do others responses as well as simply the opportunity for me to share. I really am starting to feel the therapeutic benefits of sharing in this particular thread, we are like our own little family and I'm rooting so hard for all of us <3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by Mrsbee
Adna thanks for your input...I totally don't expect anyone to fully "get" my situation and my past couple posts are honesty the first time I've shared any of this with anyone other than my husband. But your responses help SO much, as do others responses as well as simply the opportunity for me to share. I really am starting to feel the therapeutic benefits of sharing in this particular thread, we are like our own little family and I'm rooting so hard for all of us <3
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