SolitaryThinker

Day 15, ok so got a plan here:
I'm doing well staying away but my mind is literally torturing myself over it.
I got several of the books suggested to me, gonna start one of them today.
Gonna remind myself constantly that I am the ultimate controller of my emotions.
Cut myself some damn slack for once.
Gonna get out of the house for some reason other then work.
Not gonna let myself get upset over uncontrollable things.
Not gonna worry about what's going on with other peoples addictions other then my own.
Gonna tell myself "I am worth it" all friggen day, (cause I didn't feel it but I'm starting to kinda see it)
Try to not let my head run away with itself.
Try to not snap on my girlfriend today cause I feel like crap.
Play with my cat (he was nice last night and snuggled with me when I was sad, I have been letting him just walk around the house, he needs some play time and fun)
And EAT EAT EAT! (I had a burst of hunger when I first stopped and now it went away, I don't know if it's from depression or what, but I feel like I have the same eating habits while I was drinking again)
I'm sorry I went crazy again yesterday, but I have so so much added stress to this situation and it's so hard to take booze from someone else out of care, and me not drink it myself.
I hope everyone is hanging in today! I made it thru a rough few days, but I'm feeling pretty positive today. Keep pushing on everyone! I came so so close to breaking down last night and I didn't. Anyone who is thinking about maybe drinking today, DONT!!! I know for a fact if I drank last night I would def be exactly as depressed as yesterday, if not worse...I seriously love all of you and I hope we all can find some sort of pocket of peace and happiness in the crazy crazy world. Take care and stay strong everyone! <3

Upward2Enlightenment

Why not buy yourself some other treat.

Upward2Enlightenment

Thinker: Glad you made it through last night. I might borrow some of the things from your plan.
Also aren't we here to support each other when we go a little crazy?

Adnamaeel

Good morning everyone, and welcome ScrewedUp. It sounds like just about all who've been heard from are feeling at least a little better than yesterday, I hope that continues.
I hope all of you who haven't checked in are doing OK today, too.
I woke up feeling motivated to work, which has been a rare thing lately, so I'm keeping it brief for now, but will be back later.
Be strong and take care of yourselves today, and I'll do the same.

Libertas

Hello all---getting back on board Hope I made it in before too late!
T.

Adnamaeel

Welcome Libertas! (Aequalitas! Fraternitas!). Uh, sorry. I love your name.

Applekat

Congrats on 3 days, ChickChick!

Day 2....went for a run! Also went to the library and checked out Dry by Augusten Burroughs. Excited to have another related book to read. I had finished Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp, and also Guts by Kristen Johnston (the actress).

Keep it up, April darlings!

eaglesa1a

Hi everybody, haven't posted in a day or two. Congrats to everyone doing well. I don't know what's going on with me, except every time I'm doing well, I start slipping again. Can't seem to get the drive again for long term sobriety since I lost it after so many years. Maybe just feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for letting me vent.

Mrsbee

Hey, everyone!

Hope everyone is doing well, and that those of us (myself included) that have been having a rough week are starting to feel better

I felt myself getting into pity-party mode, so I decided to be proactive...amazing how being sober changes our strategies of dealing with stress!

I haven't heard back from two job opportunities...one I've already had an interview with, one I submitted my resume at a friend's suggestion (friend works at the company with open position)...and it was really starting to bum me out, especially as I've been unemployed for close to five months now and bills need to be paid. So today I updated my resume, added some great additional personal references to my reference list, and submitted everything to FIVE businesses that are hiring in my area. If I don't hear anything in the next couple-few days, I'm going to pick five more places to submit my resume to. This is the longest I've been unemployed since I went away to college ten years ago! The boredom is driving me MAD!!!!!!

I also am back at the library....I'm a huge fan of YA fiction and eventually want to write YA short stories, so I try to read as much YA as possible. But lately I've been reading a lot of things pertaining to addiction (mostly memoirs and AA literature)...after a "free day" of reading some of my favorite YA stuff (Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl series) yesterday, I'm taking Dee's recommendation and checking out Codependent No More. I really think/hope it will help me in dealing with my alcoholic family, particularly my dad.

Anyway. Just checking in for the day. Love you guys and hope you're all well Warm welcome to everyone who has recently joined our class!!! Xoxo

overwhelmd

Good morning everyone, just checking in. Having a very difficult time right now with withdrawal symptoms. I just feel horrible. I can't really think clearly and it is making work so, so difficult. I screwed up on several cases yesterday and my boss was NOT happy. Battling addiction and alcoholism at the same time is really making it hard not to fall into depression.

Sulu1

Hey Overwhelmd, I know that feeling of withdrawing and being at work at the same time. It's bad enough being on the couch! Just remember you never have to feel like this again. Keep going it will get better.

Applekat

Chin up overwhelmed! Drink a big glass of water and have a candy bar! Hugs.

SolitaryThinker

thank you! Borrow anything you like from my little list, so far it's working for me today

SolitaryThinker

i also got dees suggestions and I came across "get out of your own way" by mark goulston MD and Phillip Goldberg I flipped thru it and looked like it has some stuff that could be helpful...

Sulu1

Hey MrsBee go you for being pro-active and applying for jobs! Don't let it get you down, it took me agessss to find one for my current role, I got rejected from loads of meh ones and then in the end got the best one out the lot! Sometimes I think these recruiters just pick at random haha. Nice work on the CV too, the guy who hires people where I work at the moment says it's all about the first 10 or so seconds when they see your cv! :o

Think I may check out this codependent no more actually. I'm usually a sci if or crime reader but it sounds very interesting. Perhaps whack it on the old kindle.

Enjoy the rest of the day MrsBee!

comtnman740

Good Morning everyone!
Glad to hear everyone is doing well! I'm on Day 4 myself and really have kind of been struggling today with some plans that I made that I feel like I shouldn't have. Going to watch a playoff hockey game tonight with some friends where there will be booze. I've decided to drive my friends and I so that will fortify my defense against the bottle. Just kind of going a little haywire over thinking about it at work. Ok off to a meeting.

SolitaryThinker

<3 hang in there <3I know it's rough, I did them separately thankfully I can't imigine what your going thru, don't worry about work too too hard, it's just one day. If it were consistent then I would get bent out of shape, but don't get too down on yourself about work, it's just that, work. Hang in there <3

Sulu1

Hi ST, grats on 15 days!

Liking your plan! I think we all have that initial :o moment after stopping drinking. We've been numbing our feelings for so long for me it feels like I have to learn how to deal with all of life's situations again. Except at 22 I'm not entirely sure I learnt to deal with them in the first place! Thanks for the post ST, that's got me thinking

Sulu1

Hang in there comt, it was the playoffs at the weekend that were a big trigger for me. Remember you don't have to be in a situation where you feel uncomfortable. It's good that you're driving though at least there's one huge reason not to drink! Other than your physical and mental, health, happiness and finances!!

overwhelmd

Thanks ST. I wish I could shake the fog. Can't get focused at all. Thinking I might need to take some time off from work so I don't screw anything up, but then I don't want to be home alone because I am afraid I will do something stupid. I do not trust myself... it's so easy to do the wrong thing when no one is around to keep you out of trouble.