I give up on recovery. For now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by 1newcreation 
Just stay coz never know when "the miracle of getting recovery" clicks in your head. Wasnt a one chip wonder either but even tho @ beginning of sobriety wanted to close door on my past, now view it as an asset to help others. Grass may seem greener on the other side but your gonna have to mow it too
PLEASE STAY!
PLEASE STAY!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Victoria, Australia
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Mrrryah1
Just to clarify I didn't mean that SR was judging me. I meant that I feel my physical AA support group, here where I live, my sponsor, my recovery friends, my home group members, etc. etc. are getting sick and tired of me relapsing and are definitely treating me different. And rightly so. I understand. SR has given me nothing but love and support (well 95% of the time). Just wanted to clarify.
ah! Great to see you're still checking in though. 
Sending love & support to you!
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by Mrrryah1
The guilt and shame that I'm feeling from constantly relapsing, and from trying to stay sober and failing over and over, honestly feels like it's going to drive me insane before drinking will. I can't keep "coming back" and feeling judged by the recovery people in my city. Can't keep trying and failing and hating myself for failing. Just can't. I'm not desperate enough to stay sober for the long haul obviously, so there's no point in trying until something shifts inside of me. So I dunno if this is goodbye to SR..... Probably more of a "c u later". Thanks for everything.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Originally Posted by Mrrryah1
Just to clarify I didn't mean that SR was judging me. I meant that I feel my physical AA support group, here where I live, my sponsor, my recovery friends, my home group members, etc. etc. are getting sick and tired of me relapsing and are definitely treating me different. And rightly so. I understand. SR has given me nothing but love and support (well 95% of the time). Just wanted to clarify.
My first sponsor used to say over and over "It Takes What It Takes". Drove me crazy at the time, but I think I get it now.
All of our journeys are a little different, but we are all trying to get to a place of good health and serenity. I know there are people who feel free to judge. But that is their stuff.
You are still trying, still fighting. That is awesome.
So much love,
V xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 457
I've thought the same thing at certain stages, but the the notion of self defeating thoughts were always, in the end, trumped by not wanting to be alone with those self defeating thoughts. SR has been great for that.
I've struggled for a few years, some a decade and others for much of their life. With that in mind, judgement doesn't really have a home in recovery. If it occurs it generally sticks out like a sore thumb that nobody welcomes.
Hope you stick around friend.
I've struggled for a few years, some a decade and others for much of their life. With that in mind, judgement doesn't really have a home in recovery. If it occurs it generally sticks out like a sore thumb that nobody welcomes.
Hope you stick around friend.
K9 Trainer, Ret. Sys Engr
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 389
Yes to all encourage you to stay. I am really new to this and sometimes I just get so tired and say to myself, "why bother I am so tired and just done" and then I remember that it is for me, something for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
If it helps with motivation, I am on day 52 with no support or AA or anything like that. Took a handful of pills (various) the first two weeks to survive the onslaught of withdrawal symptoms, but that was it......... have been doing this on my own since February 17. Stupid I know, but i am still here alive and breathing!
It IS possible to quit without AA, just in general not recommended. I am fairly young at 26 so perhaps my age factors into it as well....... my body is still "fresh" so in theory it will recuperate and regenerate faster.
I guess what im struggling with now after 52 days is just the boredom....... alcohol was my go-to solution for lazy days and ESPECIALLY lazy afternoons, now that it is out of the picture i find myself very bored.
It IS possible to quit without AA, just in general not recommended. I am fairly young at 26 so perhaps my age factors into it as well....... my body is still "fresh" so in theory it will recuperate and regenerate faster.
I guess what im struggling with now after 52 days is just the boredom....... alcohol was my go-to solution for lazy days and ESPECIALLY lazy afternoons, now that it is out of the picture i find myself very bored.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
You Go Mrrryah1, Glad you are still here! Hope all is ok with you, it is hard I know to keep going with the myriad of difficulties this thing has caused in our lives , but the only way to beat it is to KEEP TRYING! Much Love and Support in here, it has given me courage more than once to fight. Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 12
I hope you don't give up. I agree with the other posts, keep trying and trying. You don't have to be perfect to be here... just read, feel supported and empathized with. Been there, done that, just like you. Hang in there sweetie, hang on, don't let go - you are worth it!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
