Relapse - Soapbox Time
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 473
I relapsed a few days ago I don't even know how it happened but it did. I hate myself for it. I've pulled myself up and I'm working my hardest to stay sober. Some of us fall and some of us fly I just need to get a month under my wings and I know I will soar.
Some people may relapse but I find they we should pull them up and not berate them for their past.
It may happen they may slip but if they do it is themselves that they have let down.
You may have cringed with me falling several times and I apologise as we are all different but I know in my heart I will not drink again.
Positive attitudes and a good family in life and on here will help me through it all xxx
Some people may relapse but I find they we should pull them up and not berate them for their past.
It may happen they may slip but if they do it is themselves that they have let down.
You may have cringed with me falling several times and I apologise as we are all different but I know in my heart I will not drink again.
Positive attitudes and a good family in life and on here will help me through it all xxx
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
relapse isn't recovery , falling off a bike isn't cycling .
Think about the risks your taking , change your behaviour and actions , learn how others do it successfully .
Alcohol and drug problems can seemingly randomly happen to anyone from any background , any intelligence , capability , colour or persuasion who takes them , the same is true for recovery as well though .
Relapse isn't part of my recovery if thats what the last 30 months has been , maybe the 10 years beforehand when i knew i should give up but didn't, when i wouldn't accept it might count …
I dunno, just get on with living a sober life , dump all the rubbish, all the stuff that keeps you stuck . A sober life can be a glorious life , take the leap of faith wholeheartedly , you won't regret it
Bestwishes, m
Think about the risks your taking , change your behaviour and actions , learn how others do it successfully .
Alcohol and drug problems can seemingly randomly happen to anyone from any background , any intelligence , capability , colour or persuasion who takes them , the same is true for recovery as well though .
Relapse isn't part of my recovery if thats what the last 30 months has been , maybe the 10 years beforehand when i knew i should give up but didn't, when i wouldn't accept it might count …
I dunno, just get on with living a sober life , dump all the rubbish, all the stuff that keeps you stuck . A sober life can be a glorious life , take the leap of faith wholeheartedly , you won't regret it
Bestwishes, m
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I'm sorry some have seen this as a tear down.
This is an incredibly supportive community - but we'd be doing everyone a disservice if we said relapse is ok.
If people didn't want to change things and get better, we'd have no SR.
we're all here because relapse is not ok.
I think, no matter how sensitive we are, we all can agree with that.
D
This is an incredibly supportive community - but we'd be doing everyone a disservice if we said relapse is ok.
If people didn't want to change things and get better, we'd have no SR.
we're all here because relapse is not ok.
I think, no matter how sensitive we are, we all can agree with that.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 473
Totally agree think it's just knocked some of us who really do try and for some stupid reason have failed.
I am trying my damdest to stay sober we wouldn't be human if we didn't make mistakes.
I'm not using that as an excuse but just saying we are not perfect if we were we wouldn't be on here
I am trying my damdest to stay sober we wouldn't be human if we didn't make mistakes.
I'm not using that as an excuse but just saying we are not perfect if we were we wouldn't be on here
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
I agree with you zombiegirl........likewise, I agree with Anna's original post and almost everyone else who has commented on this.
You don't recover from a broken hip by tap dancing, you don't recover from a lost nights sleep by staying awake for the next 48 hours, poor analogies I know but I have slipped so many times now, it's true, there is an element of what could be perceived as blaze.......with so many slips, was I ever actually in 'recovery' ?
Ultimately, we make the choice...........sadly for some, that choice eventuates in life or death. I aim with all my heart for my choice not to be the latter......it's just one hell of a battle........but I know, recovery is out there.......for all of us.
You don't recover from a broken hip by tap dancing, you don't recover from a lost nights sleep by staying awake for the next 48 hours, poor analogies I know but I have slipped so many times now, it's true, there is an element of what could be perceived as blaze.......with so many slips, was I ever actually in 'recovery' ?
Ultimately, we make the choice...........sadly for some, that choice eventuates in life or death. I aim with all my heart for my choice not to be the latter......it's just one hell of a battle........but I know, recovery is out there.......for all of us.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Anna i never really thought of it that way , but it makes so much sense .
I love reading posts here every day , then you stumble upon a goodie like this and take a moment to think ....yeahhhhhh .
Thanks
I love reading posts here every day , then you stumble upon a goodie like this and take a moment to think ....yeahhhhhh .
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I am going on six months sober with my first attempt at sobriety. I don't say this to pat myself on the back, I say it to let others know it is possible, doable and wonderful. When I was about 3-4 months sober, my AV was started to play with me. It made me think maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic, since I was able to stay sober that long my first time out the gate. So, I posted my thoughts on that and I had an overwhelming response from people on this forum who had stayed sober the first time they tried sobriety and many had been sober for years, some even decades. Stick with the winners is what many of them said to me. I suck at moderating, but I am doing pretty great at sobriety and you can, too!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Last time we had this thread it was in response to a quote from Mike Tyson in his book, where he said that relapse is part of recovery.
For a lot of people, the journey from "often drunk" to "never drunk" isn't like switching off a light. There are some sober stretches and some not so sober stretches. This is how it went for me. Relapse was part of my "recovery", i.e., the process of getting from "often drunk" to "never drunk".
If some people are interpreting this turn of phrase to mean that relapsing is a healthy or helpful thing to do, they are mistaken. But for a lot of people, relapse shows up someplace on that recovery timeline, thus it is "part of recovery."
And that's about all the semantic discussion I can muster at 5:53 AM, and it's time to get ready for work. Hope everyone has a nice day ;-)
For a lot of people, the journey from "often drunk" to "never drunk" isn't like switching off a light. There are some sober stretches and some not so sober stretches. This is how it went for me. Relapse was part of my "recovery", i.e., the process of getting from "often drunk" to "never drunk".
If some people are interpreting this turn of phrase to mean that relapsing is a healthy or helpful thing to do, they are mistaken. But for a lot of people, relapse shows up someplace on that recovery timeline, thus it is "part of recovery."
And that's about all the semantic discussion I can muster at 5:53 AM, and it's time to get ready for work. Hope everyone has a nice day ;-)
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
For those of you who seem to be offended by my words, please know that I did not say that it's bad or wrong to relapse. In fact, I said I relapsed many times.
And, for those of you who know me at all, you know that I am a supportive person and that I encourage each of us to follow our own path.
And, for those of you who know me at all, you know that I am a supportive person and that I encourage each of us to follow our own path.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Anna, I'm grateful that you posted this important message.
When I joined SR, I practically lived on the newcomers forum. The pendulum went the other way when I found I could no longer read the responses in which relapse was frequently characterized as normal, practically to be expected. That doesn't help anyone's recovery.
I think your reminder will serve our wonderful community well -- especially, but not solely, the newcomers.
Thanks for all you and the other volunteers do here in SR, this labor of love.
When I joined SR, I practically lived on the newcomers forum. The pendulum went the other way when I found I could no longer read the responses in which relapse was frequently characterized as normal, practically to be expected. That doesn't help anyone's recovery.
I think your reminder will serve our wonderful community well -- especially, but not solely, the newcomers.
Thanks for all you and the other volunteers do here in SR, this labor of love.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
We deal with some extremely difficult issues on this forum. It's a very fine line between encouraging and supporting someone who relapsed and condoning the drinking.
A large portion of the people who relapse and come limping back here are in a wretched state mentally and emotionally. The anguish in their posts is clear.
But they are HERE. I prefer that relapse outcome to many others I can conceive. I think most of us do. If some people get a bit overzealous (or choose their words poorly) in trying to provide someone who is suffering with comfort, encouragement, and support, I find it forgivable.
All of us against the addiction.
A large portion of the people who relapse and come limping back here are in a wretched state mentally and emotionally. The anguish in their posts is clear.
But they are HERE. I prefer that relapse outcome to many others I can conceive. I think most of us do. If some people get a bit overzealous (or choose their words poorly) in trying to provide someone who is suffering with comfort, encouragement, and support, I find it forgivable.
All of us against the addiction.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
I agree. It is not part of recovery because that can lead to complacency, although it does happen, and some of us who continually relapsed got there eventually I just like to say, it happens, it's not the end of the world, and just try again. Relapse is actually a nightmare. xxxxxx
I just like to say, it happens, it's not the end of the world, and just try again. Relapse is actually a nightmare. xxxxxx
Recipient of Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Knoxville TN
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by Anna 
For those of you who seem to be offended by my words, please know that I did not say that it's bad or wrong to relapse. In fact, I said I relapsed many times.
And, for those of you who know me at all, you know that I am a supportive person and that I encourage each of us to follow our own path.
And, for those of you who know me at all, you know that I am a supportive person and that I encourage each of us to follow our own path.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 642
I agree, Anna.
I would just like to say that when I analyze my own alcoholism, one thing is clear. When I drink, it puts me in drinking status. It's not a "relapse" to me, it's drinking. It's actively choosing to listen to that little voice in my head that tells me it's okay to drink.
I would just like to say that when I analyze my own alcoholism, one thing is clear. When I drink, it puts me in drinking status. It's not a "relapse" to me, it's drinking. It's actively choosing to listen to that little voice in my head that tells me it's okay to drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles,CA
Posts: 150
I agree, I take a break from here every now and then because so many people post relapse threads everyday and it kinda depresses me or makes me feel like it's hopeless. But sometimes it makes me think, oh okay so everybody on SR relapsed this month so I guess if it happens to me it's no big deal but I don't think we should be thinking that way.
Anyway I'm dead tired so I'm not sure I made any sense but I just wanted to put in my cents.
Anyway I'm dead tired so I'm not sure I made any sense but I just wanted to put in my cents.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Well, in the literal, logical sense of these words "relapse" cannot be part of "recovery" because recovery is a relative term. It implies a forward progressive route relative to an initial state (drinking, using, etc) towards being free of these behaviors. "Recovery from something." I personally like to think about these terminologies in the context of utility: in this case I find it useful to remember relapse is not the way to go as much as possible. But it's important to not be punitive about it.
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