rmbrndt

I'm "waking" up from a two-day bender. I feel awful. My side hurts and I'm trying to not panic. Its crazy how bad I feel. I don't understand why I keep repeating this pattern. I don't like myself right now.

neferkamichael

Rmbrndt, did that several thousand times, I certainly hope you don't. Are ya entertaining thoughts of quitting? Rootin for ya.

Anna

That's what happens in addiction. It's a crazy cycle that is so hard to get out of. Be brave enough to take that first step and work on recovering.

rmbrndt

Thanks Neferkamichael, that's kind of you to reach out. I do want to quit. I'm tired of living a lie.

rmbrndt

Thanks for your comment Anna. I really want to do this. I've been a drunk for years. So many emotions right now. Feels good admitting it.

least

Welcome to the SR family. You'll find lots of support here for getting and staying sober. I'm glad you found us and joined the family.


I like your user name - do you paint? Or do you just admire his work?

SeaScape

It's great that you want to quit. Welcome. It's not easy but it starts with a desire

Tamerua

Welcome! The best thing is that you don't have to wake up like that anymore.

Nonsensical

Welcome to the fight of your life. Let us know how we can help.

GotGrace

Welcome. We are here to help you. We are all in the same fight. You can do it!

courage2

Hi Rmbrndt -- welcome to SR!

How are you doing?

Hevyn

Welcome Rmbrndt - I'm glad you found us. You aren't alone anymore.

You keep repeating the pattern because you think somehow there'll be a different outcome. None of us sets out to make ourselves feel sick & miserable. I always thought if I used enough willpower I'd control the amount I drank & feel ok the next day. Of course, it never happened. I finally got fed up with feeling miserable and watching my life slip away. It feels so good to be free of it. It does nothing but make us miserable. Keep posting - you can do this.

rmbrndt

Thanks for the kindness everyone.The self-disgust is at an all time high but it helps posting here more than I thought it would. It's comforting.

rmbrndt

[QUOTE=Hevyn;4496871]Welcome Rmbrndt - I'm glad you found us. You aren't alone anymore.

the alone part has been crushing me for so long. I really need this right now. this site is a relief.

gvrecovery

Welcome, I know how you feel since I've also done the same thing more times than I can count. Meeting people in the same boat is really helping me, hope you stick around.

JackieC

We've all felt that self-disgust. It's such a lousy way to feel. I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. It was awful.

But now? My two favorite parts of my day are 1) putting my head on the pillow at night knowing I didn't drink that day and 2) waking up the next morning not hungover and not filled with guilt and shame. There's an amazing peace that I'm feeling for the first time in years.

Welcome. You'll find an amazing group here.

Jackie

rmbrndt

JackieC — I can finally say I want that amazing peace in my life. No more panic, guilt, shame. It's crazy how many times I told myself that this would be the night that I would drink responsibly and then wake up the next day wondering what the heck happened...

no more.

FeelingGreat

Hi rmbrndt, have you made a plan or are you just thinking cold turkey? I started by visiting my doctor and admitting everything, and boy that was hard. Then I read a lot about alcoholism which made me realise what was in store for me if I didn't quit (I was late stage 1, heading for stage 2).
Lots of people on SR have had success with AA as well.
You're chances of getting and remaining sober will be better with support, as well as SR.

InTheEnd

[QUOTE=rmbrndt;4496927] The alone part is the worst I'm glad you're here too. Keep posting, the SR community is a blessing and life saver.

rmbrndt

Hi Feeling Great. I'm pretty scared about the physical damage I've done. What are the stages you mention? I'm planning on AA before the week is over. I've always been convinced I didn't need it but that was just a way to keep lying to myself.