Shanie

I just registered tonight. I am glad to be apart of the family.
My boyfriend has not came in 2 days. I have a lot of thoughts of worry going through my head. He refuses to pay his cell phone bill, so his phone is off. I found out last Tuesday that we are expecting. Does news like this send them over the edge? I'm scared he will not come back.
There have been many times that he does the disappearing act. This time I'm not exactly sure how to deal with it appropriately. Im not sure of what to say to him when he finally walks through the door. There is a part of me that does not want to say anything at all. In In the past I have tried to discuss how I feel, which always leads to arguments. Ive tried to understand his feelings. I don't understand his selfishness. I think welcoming him home with a hug this time might be better... if and when.
I hope tonight he is safe.

Skye2

I think Shanie, your priority right now, should be yourself and your new 'bump' I guess he could be scared although if he's done this before, it's anyone guess what's going through his mind.

Look after YOU - let him explain his actions when he get's his act together - oh and to SR

ReadyAtLast

If he keeps leaving you and you keep welcoming him back with a hug and open arms then he will continue to leave when he likes and come back when he likes.

you deserve better and your child deserves better. Stability. The only thing you can do is decide what YOU want and what you are prepared to put up with. You can't control when he leaves but you can decide whether you allow him back into your life or not.

He will continue to treat you like this until you decide you are not going to put up with it anymore

Notimetoloose

Hi Shanie and welcome, i agree with Skye2, everything is different now and your welfare and your bubs are the priority.
You have been worried and upset and angry for 2 days, he hasn't bothered to contact you to let you know he is OK.....what does that say!
Now, when he finally walks in the door you will be so relieved and grateful that he is OK that he will have no consequences for his bad and disrespectful behaviour.
Really, put you and your bub above everything else. Have you got other support for you and bub?
As it stands there is none coming from him...Take care of you.

cheebiechi

Good morning Shanie,

Tough one huh? congrats on ur news!

Sometimes tough love is what a person in active addiction needs, but that varies with everyone. I hope it all works out for you!
Have a super day!!!

Matt

least

I agree that he will continue to treat you like this as long as you tolerate it. You have a baby on the way and don't need this kind of aggravation and disrespect. How will he be as a father if he's constantly disappearing? Something to think about...

Shanie

Good morning everyone. Thank you for your welcomes
I thank you for your responses. Good to read. Hard to swallow. I am financially dependent on him for rent at this point. I have a hefty car payment. I am actively seeking a higher wage employment. I agree with you that I need to step out on my own. He does think that I will never leave. A friend of his did say to me yesterday, "I wonder what he will do if he came home one time and all of your stuff is gone."
I was on chat last night and I learned of the AA Bible. I will try to get a copy this week and read it.

readerbaby71

Hi Shanie. I am so sorry you're going through this. I've been there and I know how it feels. Take a look at the friends and family board on SR. You'll find a lot of support and good information here. Take care of yourself and your baby. Your BF is not going to stop for anyone but himself.

Sending big hugs to you.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Shanie

Thank you, I will continue to use this.
I accept your hug! I sure did need one.