JDSalinger

Hello everyone ive been given this site by a friend who feels i should come on here for support. I feel quite bad actually because reading through some threads, i dont now want to come across as a total ****.

First, i dont think im an alcoholic, in fact i know im not, i dont wake up and need a drink.

I go to alcohol when things are bad though, i have borderline personality disorder and recently things have been real bad, even an admittance to hospital...

So ive been drinking quite a lot, to escape i guess.

My friends have said have a problem, but really, do i?

Sorry if i come across wrong to you all. Any advice would be great though.

x

Cheydinhal

I struggled with that for years JD - unfortunately, "alcoholic" doesn't just mean the dirty looking drunk who lives under a bridge and drinks from morning til night. I wasn't one of those. But when you turn to alcohol to make you feel better or to make you feel or not feel certain emotions or help you to cope, that means you have a problem. Keep reading on here. You're in the right place

silentrun

Welcome JDSalinger. Alcoholic is kind of a slang term anyway. If you have a drinking problem and you need some support there are a lot of us here.

Raider

JD, you ask if you have a problem.....you drink to escape......chew on that a bit. I think you answered yourself.

JDSalinger

Thanks for the quick answers guys...i did go to an assessment at a drug/alcohol centre and was given a nurse and said i could go to AA meetings but i felt stupid as i felt i didnt need the help and people with "real" problems would think i was a phoney.

Maybe ill ask my doc next time to be referred again, they know how i use alcohol though and havent mentioned it as a problem...so i just thought if it was a problem they would say.

sugarbear1

I just drank in the evening, just 3-6 beers. Nightly at the end. No physical dependence, no need to drink, just a serious "I just want one" which always turned into 3-6.

No trench coat, no paper bag......

It's how I dealt with the world, my problems, not feeling comfortable with myself.

I have over 2 years of sobriety today and wouldn't go back to drinking, not now, life is really awesome!

least

It doesn't make any difference what you call it. If alcohol is causing problems in your life then you might want to stop drinking. It isn't what you drink or how much, it's how alcohol affects your life.

If it's causing problems why not give it up. If you're not an "alcoholic" this shouldn't be difficult.

Welcome to the family! Love your name, by the way.

heath480

Welcome to SR.

Many alcoholics don't drink in the morning.

Most Doctors in the UK have little knowledge about alcoholism.

No one in AA would think you are a phoney,you can go to meetings and sit and listen,see if you identify with anyone there.No need to speak if you don't want to.

bigsombrero

I'll agree with the responses thus far, JD. Alcoholism has many forms. Some of us are well paid executives with corner offices and suits & ties. Others here have been hospitalized or nearly died from overdoses and are struggling to put food on the table. And many of us have been in both spots.

One thing I do know: if you have a problem with alcohol, things won't get better if you don't make changes. Things do get worse, however.

Stick around and see if there's something you can identify with here. Good for you for seeing the doctor, etc. It's probably a good idea to explore how quitting alcohol might help you.

KateL

Welcome JD XXXX

Silvy69

The only person that can diagnose alcoholism is yourself. Go to AA meetings and listen, try to find beginners meetings. No need to share or speak at all. Or just keep reading here. Only you know if you have a problem, denial is part of the disease as well as many other things. Keep coming here.. Welcome.

Dee74

Hi JD

Like others have said you don't need to be a hobo living under a bridge and drinking out of a bottle in a paper bag to be an alcoholic.

If your drinking is causing you problems, if you want to stop drinking but you can't, you're in the right place - welcome

D

JDSalinger

someone asked me, "how negatively would you react if you were told that you absolutely, without exception, could never have a drink again? Would you be ok with it? Would it upset you a little? Or would it make you panic because you wouldn't know how to deal with your problems?"

I would definitely panic

ReadyAtLast

Welcome JDsalinger. I don't bother with labels. I just found my life was not great with alcohol and my life is much better now I'm sober

oak

Welcome! I can relate to what you wrote about not wanting to be a phony in an AA meeting. I was sure that others had real addictions and that my little "addiction problem" was just me being dramatic or due to past trauma. I felt like I was disrespecting real alcoholics/addicts if I said I also had an alcohol problem. I have mostly let go of that thought but it still comes up occasionally.

I would not assume that it is not a problem just because your doctors don't bring it up. Doctors and therapists can miss it or may not think you are ready to hear it. I had one therapist tell me it was okay to drink as long as I gave my keys to someone else. Therapists and doctors are human and they have blind spots.

Your last post about panicking if you couldn't drink is a red flag. A huge red flag. I hope you find other options for dealing with things when it feels hard.

I still go back and forth between thinking of myself as an alcoholic and not using any term. There is no absolute definition of an alcoholic, so there is no way to prove whether someone is or is not an alcoholic. Lots of people stop drinking without using the label alcoholic.

I definitely do not fit most people's view of an alcoholic. I haven't drank much in my life because I initially quit at a young age, then relapsed briefly a few times. My life is definitely better without alcohol.

I like your username. I hope you keep posting.

ErikT

"Alcoholic" is a tough term to deal with initially ....but ...if one uses alcohol to "medicate" away problems...feelings...thoughts....it usually...more times than not...means they have an addiction. But.....when we drink BECAUSE we have problems usually means theres an underlying problem. Usually emotional or psychological .......the real question is this.....do YOU think drinking has become a problem for YOU?????

hypochondriac

There is absolutely no reason you need to accept the label of 'alcoholic' in order to stop drinking. Personally I shy away from that term myself. My refusal to accept that I was an 'alcoholic' prolonged my drinking for years, when in actual fact that had very little to do with what I could do about my drinking problem. If you acknowledge there is a problem there you can do something about it. You don't have to label yourself in order to act. I'd recommend looking up something called 'Rational Recovery'. Google the crash course. You may find some of the answers you're looking for there x

JDSalinger

i think i may have a problem because i cant imagine myself not drinking and i make excises to drink, i drank tonight a lot and had a good time but i knew as i was doing i thtat my drinking was for different reasons to the others

Dee74

I couldn't imagine not drinking either...and my whole life was full of excuses to drink by the end.

We can turn things around tho If you want to stop drinking you're in the right place.JDS

matt4x4

Its what alcohol does to us. Not how much we drank, what we drank, where we drank, when we drank. If I am drinking to escape, to change the way I feel, if I can not stop drinking after just one or two or three. If I crave alcohol more and more. Then I just might be an alcoholic. Or I might be a heavy drinker who stops drinking once the doctor says I must because of some internal organ.