HopeSho

I've had people tell me that "You're not an alcoholic, you just get too wild sometimes." I mean...how can anyone tell me I'm NOT an alcoholic if I think I am? lol. It's just weird to me. I know they don't mean to ruin my recovery (and they won't), but it's frustrating to hear.

autan

All that is important is what you believe, its no one else's concern is it ?

Rar

My husband is telling me I'm not an alcoholic.

HopeSho

It's just odd how other people can't see what is so clearly a problem for me. Oh well. Nevermind.

Hope4Life

I had that happen. I was out to lunch with one of my best friends. After he told me that I looked better than ever before, I explained that I hadn't been drinking in several weeks and that I was working on my sobriety. He said "Well, you don't have to worry about that, you're not an alcoholic."

While it kind of made me feel good that he thought that, I knew he was wrong.

Pipping

My husband used to say this but I think he was only trying to make me feel better. He said to me the other day that it would be nice to go on a holiday that we can enjoy together, rather than me spending half of it in bed vomiting. I felt sick when he said this because it is true. If drinking makes your life difficult and the lives of those around you miserable then stop. It doesn't matter what other people think. Look after yourself. I wish you all the best. Xxx

Nonsensical

For 25 years I couldn't see what was so clearly a problem for me. I also spent a lot of time and effort hiding it. Not terribly surprising that other people might be confused.

Ruby2

I think a lot of people say this because they are uncomfortable about the alcoholism..to a lot of people it is the skid row bum. They don't want there to be a problem. Some people don't understand or are scared of what it means. Then some people say it because if you have a problem with alcohol then maybe they have a problem too and will then have to address it. A lot of people, most people, are uncomfortable with change. You will change. But it is for the best.

You know to what degree you have struggles with alcohol. It can be frustrating to talk to people about it. Many are well meaning but don't know the right thing to say or do. Some want to sabotage your efforts. You will be able to sort them out. Educate the former and avoid the latter.

Cheydinhal

Being told that for years by several of my "friends" is one of the reasons it took me so long to realize the extent of my problem, get sober and get help. I still hear that from time to time, but I know the truth about myself and I just smile and say "Well, I'm feeling healthy now."

silentrun

No one thinks I am an alcoholic. Like Baconman said I spent time trying to contain it so I wouldn't be told to quit. Even a drug counselor in a room full of teenagers said people like me didn't qualify as alcoholics. I disagree.

Rar

When my liver enzymes came back elevated above normal, my husband still thought it was an 'aging' thing or the doctor made a mistake. As Pipping said, I think he was trying to make me feel better.

Raider

Nope, everyone told me I had a big problem and it s called alcoholism.....

bigsombrero

Do your friends also hang out in chemotherapy wards and tell the patients that they don't have cancer? Do yourself a favor and follow your own heart/path. This is your condition, not theirs.

kleigh

I'm going through this too. My husband is the only person that I've confided my belief about being an alcoholic to....but he seems to think I'm being overly dramatic. Everyone else in my life would laugh in my face, I've worked so hard to hide it.

I'm with what everyone else has said--I think if we feel we are truly addicts and that alcohol is an additive substance to us, then it must be true.

And what's the worst that could happen...we may not technically be alcoholics (although I'm sure I am), but we choose to abstain from drinking? Still sounds great to me! Best of luck to you on your journey

kflee

I have noticed that my friends and even family(in-laws) have been saying that. They mention that they are proud that I stopped for my health (have 1 kidney) but that i was never alcoholic. They even know about the airplane bottles I carried in purse and even about my 2 baileys shots in coffee every A.M. before yoga or work or opening the store in the morning. They say that I needed to have "a little help" to make it through hardworking days.
MY OPINION:AND HUSBANDS'
My husband says his family extreme A's his whole life. Functioning so well they became and still are millionares. Outside of the home they looked liked perfectly polished family. At home it was most dysfunctional households he has seen. He is one of 3 kids who are all 38 or older. Dad drank every day and never missed a beat for 30 years. His mother drank her martini every night after working 8 hour day as a Principle of a High School. That was normal and never ever questioned. All siblings starting to drink out of fridge at a young age. They would take a few beers or vodka anytime. Although it was not encouraged, his parents never said anything. Now both my mother and father in law as well as both my husbands younger brother and sister. We are all married with two or more kids. And we all drink, or drank. I am only non drinker. My husband has not been drinking either. My point is that we think if they hear me admit I was an A and did all of the great things with my career. The word "Alcoholic" is bad to them. That is a person that cannot function at all and very sick physically.
In my opinion with friends also, some are questioning themselves because they drink as much if not more than I did. So maybe hearing those words trigger them. Just a thought. Have a good night.

abcowboy

It is kind of funny, but trying to explain being an alcoholic to someone who isn't is almost impossible! When I tell my old drinking buddies that I've quit drinking, their immediate answer is "forever?" I just laugh and tell them yes, I have to because I'm an alcoholic, they shake their heads in disbelief, then try to get me to have just one. I just remind them of the last time I stopped for just one and I don't have to say another word.....

SlickRick07

All the time. My best friend always tells me that I don't have a drinking problem and that I just try to have a good time. Its easy for him to say that. He isn't an alcoholic. He goes weeks or months without drinking. He just drinks when it comes up socially. He will usually just have a couple beers and that's it. I've only seen him drunk 5 or so times in my life.

least

People who can drink 'normally' don't understand the agony of those who can't drink normally.

Dan Dare

No one ever told me I had a problem.
But no one knew what I was going through internally, either.

lisatrying

I think it doesn't even really matter if we are alcoholics or not. What matters is that we know our lives are better without drinking than they were with drinking.

Or that our lives may become better by not drinking that they are likely to become if we continue drinking. Labels don't matter at all. Actions are what are important.