Dying from a heroin overdose is NOT a tragedy.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 115
It was a pretty amazing outcome that you relative confided in her daughters illness with you. No doubt you gave her a gift in sharing a very heavy load. Amagine what a better world it would be of we could change our status to addict , recovering or not, without fear of judgement and lack of employment options. A few months ago, after isolating totally for over a year, I took the big brave step in confiding in a close friend my alcohol and benzo addiction. After telling me how brave she thought I was for surviving what I had been through she confided in me about sexual abuse that has haunted her for many years.
I wanted to scream at comments on Phillip Seymour Hoffman also
I wanted to scream at comments on Phillip Seymour Hoffman also
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: California
Posts: 195
Noooo way! I just flipped over from reading the same stuff on my FB! She said, "How can you feel bad for this guy?" And within the comments of people agreeing with her, she added that he made a "decision" to use drugs. I reined it in and posted that addiction was not a "choice" and it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person...
To me, it's the same thing as saying that poor people are just lazy. Empathy, get some. Ugh.
To me, it's the same thing as saying that poor people are just lazy. Empathy, get some. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Addiction is always a tragedy. No one seeks out addiction or wants to be a drunk or junkie. Addiction happens to good people and bad, it doesn't discriminate. It steals lives and hope. I'd like to see people try to understand instead of judge but as others have said I can't control other people, just myself.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Comments like that come out of ignorance. Unless a person has been where we are they will never understand what it is like and how truly horrible that kind of comment is.
I truly hope that this person never has to go thru what we have gone thru. People that judge others do so because they have their own issues they are hiding. Believe me I know because I was one of those judgemental people.
I truly hope that this person never has to go thru what we have gone thru. People that judge others do so because they have their own issues they are hiding. Believe me I know because I was one of those judgemental people.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
I hate to add fuel to the fire but this belief is becoming more popular. The idea that addicts are selfish or weak and basically immature is now being popularized by Peter Hitchens. His ignorance of all the science behind addiction is appalling, yet he gets all this press time. He even admits he's never met anyone who is an addict. He concludes that addiction is simply a lack of willpower for weak people.
http://www.theguardian.com/books/201...tion-drugs-war
http://www.theguardian.com/books/201...tion-drugs-war
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
...and the sad thing is he is sharing that due to someone else's opinion I'm sure.
People who aren't addicts will never understand our world. Because you know, walking away and just making up your mind to not doing something is just that easy. They're right up there with people who make the comment "well, why don't they just leave?" about someone who is in an abusive relationship.
It's this mindset that feeds and is behind the latest statement by our Governor. He has decided that funding needs to be cut for addiction treatment and in it's place the DEA and patrols are going to get beefed up and jail sentences are going to be increased. Sure, that will fix everything.
AO, what this kid said is ludicrous and you know that. This hits very close to home for you due to what you've been through. Take it with a grain of salt. As long as there are people on this earth there will be idiots among us. He falls into that category.
People who aren't addicts will never understand our world. Because you know, walking away and just making up your mind to not doing something is just that easy. They're right up there with people who make the comment "well, why don't they just leave?" about someone who is in an abusive relationship.
It's this mindset that feeds and is behind the latest statement by our Governor. He has decided that funding needs to be cut for addiction treatment and in it's place the DEA and patrols are going to get beefed up and jail sentences are going to be increased. Sure, that will fix everything.
AO, what this kid said is ludicrous and you know that. This hits very close to home for you due to what you've been through. Take it with a grain of salt. As long as there are people on this earth there will be idiots among us. He falls into that category.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
This is kind of an interesting outcome that manifested from all the drama:
This evening I stopped to see another family member and she referenced the post and how she had just got off break and enjoyed the diatribe over an apple. Ugh. :/
This woman is a VERY private person. To the extreme. She knows I'm an alcoholic but I publicly stated it in the exchange as I could honestly care less who knows the truth about me anymore.
All of a sudden, she starts to tell me that her daughter is bulimic.
I was flabbergasted. Not about the bulimia, but about the comfort she was afforded at my willingness to be honest about my addiction. It was if she finally felt safe enough to let out her awful family secret. We are close. As close as she would ever let me get to her that is.
And therein lies the silver lining...
Life. It's so damn beautiful.
We ARE only as sick as our secrets. And we are all so connected. Thank you my friends for walking this path with me.
And holding my hand through it...
XO AO
This evening I stopped to see another family member and she referenced the post and how she had just got off break and enjoyed the diatribe over an apple. Ugh. :/
This woman is a VERY private person. To the extreme. She knows I'm an alcoholic but I publicly stated it in the exchange as I could honestly care less who knows the truth about me anymore.
All of a sudden, she starts to tell me that her daughter is bulimic.
I was flabbergasted. Not about the bulimia, but about the comfort she was afforded at my willingness to be honest about my addiction. It was if she finally felt safe enough to let out her awful family secret. We are close. As close as she would ever let me get to her that is.
And therein lies the silver lining...
Life. It's so damn beautiful.
We ARE only as sick as our secrets. And we are all so connected. Thank you my friends for walking this path with me.
And holding my hand through it...
XO AO
reads like a power greater than you stepped in. could have been from the prayers that went out for you.
most of us here know the power of alcoholism/addiction. not everyone does. they are entitled to their opinions,too. just look through some of the threads here. debates start between us,too.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Since my last post, there has been a virtual (literally) confessional of epidemic proportions transpiring.
Two MORE family members have come forth to me with their addictions, and two friends (I guess Einsteins page isn't private so everyone of my "friends" can see the exchange as well)
have reached out to me for help.
Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles ! (Can anyone guess the musical theatre reference ?)
I actually really like Facebook. I know, I know, it is everyone showing their highlight reels. But it has connected us in a way we have never been able to connect before. Underneath all of the obvious displays of ego, there is a vulnerability and truth that no one can really escape. It's as if there are no "cool people" anymore. Everyone shows their cards eventually because the basis of the human experience is CONNECTION with others.
None of us want to feel alone. All of us want to feel understood. And there are things I have learned being a part of that social network, both sociologically as well as spiritually, (even politically) that have helped me to grow by leaps and bounds. I have a true appreciation for it.
Something magical is happening. Walls are crumbling. I'm witnessing it firsthand. And I feel a sense of responsibility almost. Like the Universe and HP are trusting us with a big mission. Precipitated by PSH, to be carried out by us, for us. No one left behind anymore. Not because of shame, not because of guilt.
Like the beautiful angel CarolD said, Forward we go . Side by side.
Blessings friends.
XO AO
Two MORE family members have come forth to me with their addictions, and two friends (I guess Einsteins page isn't private so everyone of my "friends" can see the exchange as well)
have reached out to me for help.
Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles ! (Can anyone guess the musical theatre reference ?)
I actually really like Facebook. I know, I know, it is everyone showing their highlight reels. But it has connected us in a way we have never been able to connect before. Underneath all of the obvious displays of ego, there is a vulnerability and truth that no one can really escape. It's as if there are no "cool people" anymore. Everyone shows their cards eventually because the basis of the human experience is CONNECTION with others.
None of us want to feel alone. All of us want to feel understood. And there are things I have learned being a part of that social network, both sociologically as well as spiritually, (even politically) that have helped me to grow by leaps and bounds. I have a true appreciation for it.
Something magical is happening. Walls are crumbling. I'm witnessing it firsthand. And I feel a sense of responsibility almost. Like the Universe and HP are trusting us with a big mission. Precipitated by PSH, to be carried out by us, for us. No one left behind anymore. Not because of shame, not because of guilt.
Like the beautiful angel CarolD said, Forward we go . Side by side.
Blessings friends.
XO AO
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I like FB too. I stay connected to people, and my friends list are people I am actually friends with. Maybe I'm just lucky that way, but it's not a bunch of people posturing, lying and showing off, and most of the discussion I have with people there are meaningful. If and when that stops happening, I drop people from my friends list.
anyway...people have different opinions, feelings and reactions to things. And like this incident, often people expressing what they really feel leads to other people doing the same and meaningful exchange takes place and we learn about other people's perspectives and maybe even grow a bit.
I've had people confront me on my opinions, and shockingly, sometimes I am in insensitive boob who has no idea what I am talking about because I have not "been there, done that"! Glad that people didn't automatically label me a butt wipe, ditch me from their friends list and decide I was a useless piece of crap as a human being because I didn't have the experience and insight they did.
I wouldn't grow much in wisdom or compassion if they did. If we are willing to be compassionate to people here, who come in as clueless as we once were....
and, heck..I know of addicts who haven't gotten to the "I am an addict, I need to do something about this stage" who have made the same sort of comments on the death of another addict. Denial. We think that is NEVER going to be us, because we can handle it, we are in control, only losers go that route. When we are one hit away from going face down.
I have a friend on FB who expressed mixed feelings about PSH's death. She thinks it's a damn shame but....
Interestingly this woman is very very overweight, has serious complications with type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure. She has an eating disorder. She knows she should lose weight...she has mixed feelings about her own issues as well.
Maybe the person who made that comment is as much a victim of their own ignorance (the innocent kind) as we were to our addiction, and with support, experience and confrontation (intervention) there is hope for them too.
anyway...people have different opinions, feelings and reactions to things. And like this incident, often people expressing what they really feel leads to other people doing the same and meaningful exchange takes place and we learn about other people's perspectives and maybe even grow a bit.
I've had people confront me on my opinions, and shockingly, sometimes I am in insensitive boob who has no idea what I am talking about because I have not "been there, done that"! Glad that people didn't automatically label me a butt wipe, ditch me from their friends list and decide I was a useless piece of crap as a human being because I didn't have the experience and insight they did.
I wouldn't grow much in wisdom or compassion if they did. If we are willing to be compassionate to people here, who come in as clueless as we once were....
and, heck..I know of addicts who haven't gotten to the "I am an addict, I need to do something about this stage" who have made the same sort of comments on the death of another addict. Denial. We think that is NEVER going to be us, because we can handle it, we are in control, only losers go that route. When we are one hit away from going face down.
I have a friend on FB who expressed mixed feelings about PSH's death. She thinks it's a damn shame but....
Interestingly this woman is very very overweight, has serious complications with type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure. She has an eating disorder. She knows she should lose weight...she has mixed feelings about her own issues as well.
Maybe the person who made that comment is as much a victim of their own ignorance (the innocent kind) as we were to our addiction, and with support, experience and confrontation (intervention) there is hope for them too.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I liked the net a lot more in the nineties, pretty much just the geeks, then came AOL and I could see the end. Every Tom ,Dick, and Mary can have their opinions and photo albums, I didn't care in the eighties and I still don't. But I'm pretty misanthropic anyway.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
You've got it going on, alphaomega. Awesome to hear you don't stand around waiting for others to get into action standing up for what is right. You already know so well and from experience caring for others means caring for everybody inclusive no exclusions. Rock On!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 479
Wow. Some really great advice posted already by everyone here. I shut down my Facebook a few months ago, for a number of reasons. One of the reasons being I got sick of being ticked off at people for the strange...insensitive.....annoying or just plain stupid things they posted. I even looked back on my own wall and felt frustrated with myself for the things I said! I think FB is a waste of time, most of the time. lol
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by caboblanco
It's a tragedy as any premature death is but it was his fault and his fault only. He wasn't victim of society or a drug dealer
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
Every single guy who dies in active addiction is obviously a victim. Those that are successful in staying alive and free of their addictions, no. Those that die, yeah, total victims of their addiction. As for drug dealers, they dole out their **** to potential victims every time they make a sale. I would know. Been there and done that. Dealers themselves don't get a pass just because the guilty can't get justice. Dealers are at the top of the illegal drug food chain and this is not something that affords them immunity in any addicts death.
totally disagree..but agree to disagree. Nothing good can come from blaming drug dealers or other societal factors in an overdose...nothing but a cluster f..
I know the powerless thing is a popular theory..but as far as I know it doesn't hold up in the court of law..drug dealers should be charged for selling or trafficking illegal narcotics..not murder,,attempted murder or anything else.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
I am contemplating an operation on my aortic heart valve. I am 87. I don't think I will die but am not particularly concerned about its being in a "respectable manner". In that event I would not want anyone to think this a "tragedy". I've had a good life, thankful for 16 plus additional years as a result of a heart by-pass operation in 1997, 25 years of sobriety. No way is this a "tragedy". My life now is merely like Haydn's "Farewell" Symphony, where the various members of the orchestra leave the stage one by one, leaving one lone player who gets up, bows, takes his music and instrument and leaves. Most of my friends have gone. Soon I too shall go.
W.
W.
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