Husband joined AA-now is leaving
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: costa mesa
Posts: 2
Husband joined AA-now is leaving
Hello, After 26 years my husband finally got sober. In the beginning of our marriage I did not know he was an alcoholic. It became evident early on and I threw myself into Al Anon and figuring out what alcoholism was. I learned early what rescuing and detaching was. He did go to rehab and "got educated". After our child was born. for a couple of years he didn't drink. Then he convinced himself he could drink and stay in control. Of course all those drinking years he had to run his business out of our home to stay close to the bottle. His choice kept him from becoming successful in his eyes. Then 3 1/2 years ago he started getting seriously ill, blood clots, thyroid issues, liver issues and prostate cancer. After a few trips to the hospital to detox he got sober: 2 1/2 years ago. I was cautiously optimistic. Now he tells me he's not the same person, doesn't want the same things as before, doesn't see us together the rest of our lives. He says he still loves me and is kind but extremely detached. I am just trying to make sense out of this. My heart is breaking. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site. I need so to understand from your point of view.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi flyingaway and welcome to SR 
I'm sorry for your situation but I know you'll find a lot of support here.
For me, I don't think there is an alcoholic point of view - we're all different....and lots of non alcoholics re-assess their lives and make major changes in their 40s and 50s too.
It doesn't make it any easier for you tho, and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
D
I'm sorry for your situation but I know you'll find a lot of support here.
For me, I don't think there is an alcoholic point of view - we're all different....and lots of non alcoholics re-assess their lives and make major changes in their 40s and 50s too.
It doesn't make it any easier for you tho, and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
D
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
It sounds like you have been very supportive and I feel for you. As Dee says, sometimes this happens anway in life. I have been there and it's not nice. I hope you can get through this and find some happpiness because you deserve it xxxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: costa mesa
Posts: 2
Thank you all for your kind words. I thought I was tough enough to get through this. After all I got through all those years of his active drinking. I just never would accept that he would dump me....
When I got my first post from you Dee and felt the caring, the tears I had been waiting for, now sprung to my eyes. My friends and family are sweet, but they just don't understand the dynamics. But you're right Dee, this could have happened whether he was drinking or sober. Thanks all
When I got my first post from you Dee and felt the caring, the tears I had been waiting for, now sprung to my eyes. My friends and family are sweet, but they just don't understand the dynamics. But you're right Dee, this could have happened whether he was drinking or sober. Thanks all
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by ACT10Npack 
Have you ever thought about going to marriage therapy? If things Dont work out then it does not but he should at least do the steps to see you guys can work it out.
Good luck
Good luck
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