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Anti-social behaviour

Old 01-14-2014, 02:26 PM
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Anti-social behaviour

This is a new one for me... After 14 days sober I realise I am becoming a bit of a recluse, I don't want to see anyone when I get home from work (I don't actually want to see the people I work with), I don't want to talk to anyone, if my phone gets a message I dread to read it, I just want to be left alone in my own head with my own thoughts.

I realise this can't continue this way for much longer, just right now the outside world just gives me hassle!

Not sure where this is going, but I wonder if any of you at SR have had these anti-social tendencies?
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Old 01-14-2014, 02:30 PM
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I'm battling agoraphobia and am working on progress through therapy. So... I REALLY relate to everything you wrote. That's all... Looking forward to reading other responses. :-)
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Old 01-14-2014, 02:33 PM
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I'm the exact same day 12 here. I need some head space!
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:03 PM
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I'm more that way when I'm drinking. I just want to go home, lock myself in my apartment, put on some lazy pants and drink my vodka shots and watch my TV. The alcohol helps me forget how lonely/bored I am, so when I'm sober I focus on those things instead and have more of a desire to go out and interact. I hope you get things worked out, good luck
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:10 PM
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I was like that for a time, but it passed xxxx
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:19 PM
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I wouldn't read into it too much, your body/mind is adjusting and the ride can be pretty wild for the first few weeks, as emotions fluctuate.

My first few weeks, I stayed in the house, watched TV, played online games and only talked to people at work (out of necessity) and posted on SR.

I felt like if I could have hibernated for a few months, then I would have.

But the feeling passed, as the fresh mornings started to feel really good and my health started to improve, I then wanted to go for walks in the fresh air, go visit relatives and hang out with some mates once again.

Life will open itself up to it's potential once again, given time!!
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:57 PM
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Hi Marius.

I did feel that way for about the first month. I had to learn to live again in a new way - I felt very strange without my 'buffer' for a while. It all changed though - and I found my enthusiasm and enjoyment of life once again. We've put ourselves through so much - we need time to heal. Be patient with yourself - you're doing great.
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Old 01-14-2014, 04:07 PM
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I think it's normal - for me it was necessary - my entire life revolved around drinkers and drinking.

It's ok to be cautious for the first few weeks, I think - but it's ok to get out every once in a while too - not everything involves alcohol - walking, a picnic,. coffee with friends, pizza, the movies, hobbies and interests...

D
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Old 01-14-2014, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Marius76 View Post

This is a new one for me... After 14 days sober I realise I am becoming a bit of a recluse

I realise this can't continue this way for much longer, just right now the outside world just gives me hassle!

Not sure where this is going, but I wonder if any of you at SR have had these anti-social tendencies?
oh yes
this last time sobering up this went on for months
I think that I had a lot of wreckage of the past
it had just whipped my rear end
I had a lot to recovery from and wanted to be pretty much left alone
didn't even want to walk out the long dirt driveway to get the mail
things got better with time spent without a drink

in the old days I used to snap back to normal in a day or two
guess it's different every time and varies from person to person

most important thing -- stay sober

Mountainman
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Old 01-14-2014, 05:43 PM
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Marius76, I'd imagine that if you recognize this change in your desire for social interaction than it is likely a temporary state.

Like foureyedfool, I'm drawn away from others while drinking -- to a bit of an extreme.

As an example: There's a possibility that I'll have to get a professional evaluation of my alcohol use in the coming weeks. If so, apparently they'll want me to bring someone who knows me well. Alas, there is no such person. I've lived alone for nine years and have only a handful of acquaintances from work. I've never had them over or been to their houses. I only know them from the work setting or the annual picnic. No friends or family who could validly corroborate (or refute) anything I tell the evaluator. Just my sweet dog, Olive. The lawyer says that they won't believe me; but, it's true. If this evaluation thing goes down, I suppose that I'm going to have to try to convince my neighbor to serve the role.

I'm not sure what sobriety will bring in this regard. I'm only on day 5 drink-free, but I'm not noticing any increased desire yet to go out and make friends.

Anyway, stay strong Marius76.

Best,
ODog
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Old 01-14-2014, 06:31 PM
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I have been sober for over 5 years and I've never lost that feeling. I have no problem spending time in my house by myself. I ignore messages, don't read emails, etc. I am not agoraphobic but truthfully people just **** me off and I'd rather not deal with anyone. Maybe I am just balancing out all those years I spent partying? Who knows.
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Old 01-14-2014, 09:46 PM
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Well thanks guys ever so much for your responses to this thread, SR is like a bubble outside the bad and annoying world, I feel like I could maybe socialize with you lot (in a week or two hehe).

After reading the comments I no longer feel like I have a problem, maybe it will pass, and if I am moody or anti-social why should it be a problem? It may pass, it may not, I am just gonna continue this sober path, onwards and upwards!
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Old 01-14-2014, 09:58 PM
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Hey Marius,
Hang in there bud! We all got a bit worried over the changes. Just remember to see a doc if it seems too much.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:08 PM
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I holed up at first. I just planned on letting my body tell me what it needs. I didn't put any labels on myself or hold myself to anything but just taking care of what I needed to take care of those first couple of months.

I look back on it now and I'm glad I had the time to spend working on me. I'm certainly not anti social. I'm pretty good at spending time with people or enjoying time alone. Depends upon what I feel like doing now.

The best part is I do what feels right to me and I don't apologize for it. But I was never very good at taking care of myself so this was good for me learn. And of course I'm not talking about hiding from my responsibilities. Everyone has those. I'm talking about at first I changed a lot. I holed up. I did a lot of work on myself. Then after a few months, my life started falling into place.

Give it time. Spend the time you have now investing in yourself a little. The world can seem less annoying later..and it will. And then it will be annoying again but you will be in a different place and it may not matter so much.

Awesome job on the 14 days!
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:11 PM
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I did this for the first couple of months. I was actually really tired and a day at work would wipe me out. It's ok to have some space for a while and I actually think it can be quite healthy. Two weeks is fantastic.
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