Mentium

There's a thread about the use of the word 'slip' elsewhere today. It got me thinking about the people who appear here for a post or a few posts and then are never heard of again. Goodness knows what happens to them. I hope they do OK, but I am sure some aren't.

That reminded me in turn of a recent AA meeting I attended. I am still a newcomer there but one of the more established members happened to be talking about people who have 'gone back out' and the ones he knew about who had died as a result. There were quite a few - and it is a smallish group.

I don't want to be too gloomy - this forum is a great uplifting place, full of positive encouragement and reinforcement.

Even so it is worth remembering how dangerous alcohol addiction can be and how easily it can kill us.

With apologies for the lecturing tone. Simply a thought I felt I should share.

MeSoSober

What you say is so true and something it can never hurt us to be reminded of.

There's a quote attributed to motivational guru Zig Ziglar: "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

To avoid going back out, I really need to remind myself daily, recommit myself daily to being sober. Otherwise I get lazy, complacent, and before I know it I'm hunched over the toilet yakking in the wake of another bender. Dear God, never again.

So I need to be here every day, sign up in the 24-hour club thread every day, check in regularly in my "home" thread ('13 Marchers). And remember not just TO come here, but WHY I come here. For support in sobriety, first and foremost.

PaulinaPolitely

Very well said, and not gloomy at all, just truthful. Thanks for the harsh reminder.

DoubleDragons

My father-in-law died at age 59 from complications from alcoholism. He was so excited about being a grandfather. I still have these beautiful handwritten letters he had written to our first two sons. Thank God that I kept them. (we have had two additional children after he died and my SILs each had two children after his death) It is a deadly disease. No doubt about it. Thank you for this post.

IOAA2

Hi. When I state facts I see no need to apologize for pointing them out. For instance I know most people won't get sober for the long term, +10 years. I'm a hard old timer that has seen too much destruction this disease has caused, even forgetting the individual, their families along with the physical damage by accidents etc to innocent bystanders. I recall seeing a fact that about 80% of those in prison are the result of involvement of booze and or drugs.
A good part of this is we as a society are undisciplined and want a pill or drink to "feel good" forgetting to look at the reasons we don't feel good. The result is that more than 2,000 people a week die as a result of self medication. I bet most didn't make a real attempt to get sober.
I/we can't fix that and I hope that occasionally what I post helps someone just to start thinking of the reality of this disease and not gloss it over with all the lying we are easily capable of.

I'll duck now.

BE WELL

bigsombrero

Several of us have been hospitalized, had seizures, strokes, or faced other life-and-death situations as a direct result of our disease. I am one of those people. But before that, I just kept on drinking and didn't believe it. "It kills", they said. Pshhh, whatever. I literally had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance in order to get that through my skull.

Sadly, I'm not sure I could have learned any other way. And I see other newcomers out there who are probably in the same boat....it's just the nature of the beast. We do not want to give up our alcohol, and will ignore all medical recommendations and data until we experience this first hand.

Reminders like these, even if they influence one person, are important I think.

Renarde

Thanks for sharing this, Mentium.

Louise82

Thanks for the reminder Mentium. As people say, I mustn't take myself too seriously but I must take my alcoholism very seriously.

DD - my stepfather was also in his 50s when alcoholism killed him. Scary and tragic but it wasn't enough to stop me drinking at the time. Just goes to show how much my alcoholism controls me once it's got a foothold through that first drink. It's why I need reminders like Mentium's to take staying away from that first drink very seriously indeed.

alphaomega

I love you guys. I just wanted you to know that.

Thank you for this Lighthouse.

Ptcapote

Thanks for this post, Mentium. It is such a good and needed reminder.

We had someone "go back out" from our AA group a couple of weeks back after a 5 year period of sobriety. Shocked me, really. It was a horrible bender that thankfully included no deaths, his or anyone else's, but a lot of destruction otherwise. All of these things it took him five years to build back up again were gone in a weekend.

They say in AA that because of every person that went back out and never made it back, you are there. I thought that was cruel when I first heard it but I can see the logic now.

I know watching what happened to this guy affirmed my commitment to sobriety. Maybe only for another day but, hey, that's all we got, right?

Thanks for the thread and post.

heath480

It amazes me how many people say they don't want reminders they are alcoholic,I need a daily reminder,if I forget what I am,I will drink,I have no doubt of that.

I don't like the word slip,I think it trivialises something that could be fatal for an Alcoholic.

I have been to many funerals over the past 10years,I bought a special outfit.I also went to my Mothers funeral many years before I got sober,she had no desire to stop drinking.

I am confident I will get to my bed sober tonight,so today has been a good day.

Thankyou Mentium for starting this thread.

Kaneda8888

Thank you for this thread. It is a reminder of why I maintain my program irrespective of how I feel

Dee74

just to present the other side of the coin, not everyone who leaves SR returns to drinking or drugging tho

I'm in contact with quite a number who are living happy, free and sober lives.

It's my experience that most people who post here for any length of time and then drop out do end up returning, perhaps under another name.

We all know the human cost of addiction - some of us personally - but I think it's important to spread the hope too

D

RiverFriendAgn

Just want to add a little proof to Dee's post. I'm back after trying to leave (and added 'agn' to my name for again), though I don't post as often as before because I feel I need to really listen to the wise words of others rather than spit out my own at this early point. I also get scared to post because so many times before I would post how great I was feeling/doing only to drink hours after said posts and that would discourage me greatly. This time around, I'm not really counting days except for the important one, today (18 if you're counting haha). I have made the decision to rid my life of alcohol. Thanks for the reminder on how serious this really is. It certainly helped me.

Kayla50

I have been on this site all day. Keep hoping to get some relief but my physical symptoms are too bad to ignore. Guess I'll try going back to bed. I cannot wait to detox safely. Too many days to wait.

ScottFromWI

Seek medical help now if you think you need it Kayla. Going to bed isn't going to help if the symptoms become severe.

IOAA2

A very important thing that finally sunk in while I was slipping and sliding was "KEEP COMING" because left to my own devises good things not happening and I needed to listen. After surrendering to the fact I could not drink in safety life has got much better.

BE WELL

newhope01

For me, whenever I stopped posting or visiting these forums it was because I was drinking and decided I didn't want to stop. Usually I come back here with my tail between my legs because I knew and everyone else knew I can't safely consume alcohol like others.

I am ever so appreciative of this site because without all you kind and supportive people, I would still be drinking or struggling alone.

malcolmsloan

In one sense a "downer" thread, but in a good way-? At this time last year, we(my wife and I)had just lost a friend to alcohol. In October, we lost family member whose condition was exaserbated by years of alcohol abuse. Today, we have friend who just blew all of her savings on a horrid bender and is missing. I'm preaching to the choir here, I know, but this condition that afflicts us all is no frickin' joke. I'm almost 9 weeks sober, and the first thing I do before I get out of bed each morning is to prey for god to guide me through another sober day.

Banquo

Good thread. We all need to realise that eventually alcohol abuse leads to a very unpleasant and undignified death.

Such a waste of life.