FBL

Kevin, welcome to SR! Stick around, you'll find lots of great support here.

Toffee1

Hi Kevin and welcome. You will get loads of support here. I must say though that if you are serious about this then being halfhearted as you put it will not work. If you want sobriety you can have it. There is no question about that. Now you have to ask yourself that question. Do you want sobriety? If so stick around and learn,as I am doing, from those people who have won.

flutter

Yeah, I was pretty sneaky too..until I wasn't.

Welcome!!

Beanie25

Hi and welcome. Great you are posting here. This site has helped me to finally start to string some sober days together and to help me start to have hope again. Lots of support from people who know how it is.

huntingtontx

Hi Kevin, I want to welcome you to SR. Great people, great support. If you don't want to drink you are in the right place. I love it here and find help all the way. No one said it would be easy, but it is way easier then being drunk. Anyway, welcome.

kevinj

Thanks to all for your comments and open arms. I have made it through day one, reading and re-reading your postings. Once I understand this website clearer, I will do better at responding to you. Hopefully, one day I will be able to pay your support forward!

ReadyAndAble

That's great news, Kevin! Believe it or not, you're already paying it forward. It's a good bet that someone else who's thinking about trying will see your last post and think, "Heck, if he's in, I'm in." I know you inspired me just by coming back. Nothing more inspirational than seeing someone take that first step, because it's the biggest step in the whole darn journey. Good for you!

You should check out the December class thread if you haven't already; you'll find a lot of people in the same boat, all pulling together. I have a soft spot for December classes, having benefitted enormously from the 2010 edition.

kevinj

Thank you for your support! I have been sweating it out through the last couple days... last night (New Years Eve) my wife and I pretended it was just another night. It helped, but I was thinking "how do I get this demon out of my mind?" - I keep thinking about having a 'nip'... good thing the house is dry!
I feel great hearing from people. It is a continuous reminder that others are out there in the same place as me... I'll keep posting and trying to connect with others.

Dee74

Just as we used to obsess about drinking, a lot of us find we obsess about not drinking too.
We lose that obsessive thinking and it gets better, in time, Kevin

D

kevinj

I hope your New Year is filled with health, happiness and sobriety!

jaynie04

It's helped me a lot not to have alcohol at home. I know that is not an option for everyone but if it is for you I think it gives you a safe place. As time goes on I feel less concerned about having it here, but in the early days it made even the passing thought not an option.

To have to get in the car and go into a store and purchase alcohol..I think having all of those checkpoints meant I had to make more than one split second decision.

It gets easier, much easier, with the more distance you put between yourself and booze. And as our head clears and we start to see the benefits of our decision drinking starts to feel irrational. In the early weeks just putting one foot in front of the other and doing simple things sober that we have not done sober in a long time…be gentle to yourself and don't underestimate the energy not drinking takes. My tolerance for huge levels of discomfort is fairly low, but I held on to the fact that people who had been sober for a while longer kept telling me it got better. It was like being behind someone who has climbed up a mountain trail in front of you, they can see the view and are encouraging you to keep going because it gets better. Welcome Kevin!

ChrissieB

Welcome Kevin, great to have you here. Starting the New Year sober is a really great start and yes it really does get better, hang in there. I go to AA it really helps me having f2f support. Absolutely love SR as well, this place rocks x

ActualAlcoholic

I would recommend you find an AA meeting near you and just go and listen. You may have some preconceived notion about what AA is all about, like I did. But you don't even have to say anything or interact with anyone. But you will quickly find that there are so many people who are experiencing exactly what you have. And always remember this: The only requirement for joining AA is the desire to stop drinking. You have that desire, so why not take a peek and see if it's something that might work for you? No pressure.

I'm not even currently working the steps in AA, although that is a goal of mine in the new year. But The Perspective I gained made me realize that I am an alcoholic and put me in the proper frame of reference to quit drinking. I am now working on my 3rd day of abstinence from alcohol, something I had never thought possible

Everyone here has been amazing, even the little interactions I've had with everyone has given me so much hope.

Keep posting here and sharing, you will find that the more you do, the more positive your outlook will become.

Are you strong enough? Absolutely. Are you ready? That's for you to decide, and I hope you the best in that decision.. Again, I know posting here and even just sitting in on a few AA meetings made me realize I was ready.

kevinj

Great advice! I've looked up the local AA contact and will follow up on your direction.

kevinj

That makes a lot of sense, Janie. I had access to bottles we kept for company and couldn't resist them. I do find that the check points involved in getting in the car to go to a liquor store make it more a deliberate act that just going into a drawer and popping a cork. I'm happy we (actually my wife) cleared the house so that hurdle has been removed. Each time I pass the liquor store, I control the urge. ...and yes, having people like you behind me keeps me motivated to say 'I can do it also!

FreeOwl

Do it Kevin....



Your original post "am I strong enough" - caught my attention. Because what I've learnt is that it's not really about strength.... it's about being willing to say "I'm NOT strong enough - not on my own".

My own experience has been that as I tried to resist, as I tried to feel "strong", I gradually allowed my alcoholic voice inside to convince me I didn't need help. And as I began to move away from AA and others who understood... I moved back to drinking. Then found it was only worse than before.

The truly STRONG thing to do, my friend, is to reach out and ask for help. You've made that step already by coming here. Going to AA and having that face to face support is key. I hope you'll go, and I hope you'll keep going and see what you can find there. It does really work.

Nikkabean326

I'm new here too, Kevin. I always developed some pretty sneaky habits so my boyfriend wouldn't say anything to me. My last straw was New Years Eve. Everyone has been extremely supportive here. Keep posting. It'll get better for both of us..

kevinj

I find that being open about everything, not just drinking, is breathing new life into me. I hope you have the same response... I have to say it is empowering (in a good way!)!