Toffee1

Hi everyone I am coming up to three months this Friday. Feeling pretty secure at the moment thanks to SR, AVRT and plenty of reading. Thanks everyone on this amazing site! I read someone here talking about mindfulness and just wondered if anyone could tell me what this is and how you are using it. Thanks in advance.

KateL

No idea, but I will watch this space to find out

Marcher13

Toffee I'm not sure who used the term and in what way but, to me, mindfulness is about being aware of my thoughts and my actions. For instance I anticipate the time of day (for me 6pm) or the situation (going out for dinner) where a craving might occur and I think about what I will do to deal with that craving. In the case of 6pm I pour an icy cold soft drink I enjoy, in the case of dinner out I choose a really enjoyable mineral water and think about the dessert I'll have since I'm not swigging back the sugar from the glass. Mindfulness to me pre-supposes that I've thought out situations that are triggers and determined actions so I don't drink. Instead of reacting I'm pro-active.

kaonashi

I really recommend reading Thich Nhat Hanh's, I Am Here.

Simply, mindfulness is being present, living in the moment.

Twinings

Like others have said it's about being more aware of the moment and how to react. There is also mindfulness meditation. Lots and lots of info about it if you google and in the UK lots of mental health programs now use mindfulness.

Joe Nerv

I'm plugged in here to learrn a little more.

I bought the book Mindfulness (and/or The Mindful way Through Depression?) a while back, and read a good portion of it (along with some other material on mindfulness). It was during a time that I was also going to therapy, and putting some real effort into CBT. It seemed to me at the time that they were a nice pair, and a new frontier for my sobriety and life... yet, as much as I tried to stick to the things I was reading about and learning, it just wasn't taking hold. Like my lifelong thinking habits were just too engrained.

Since I've been spending time in SR I've also gotten the notion that this stuff is the other side of the 12 step fence in regards to recovery. Though I don't see any reason they can't work together, and I'm pretty certain I've got it wrong.

Anyhow, I often write during bkfst when I have to head out to work and don't have time to say all I want. In short, I'd like to learn a little more about this stuff myself, as what I read sounded really interesting and promising. Just wondering if anyone else here thinks there might be some clear difference between this stuff, and the essence of the 12 step message. I'm not saying there is, but I'm wondering if I have trouble grasping this because of some left brain right brain kind of stuff, 12 step vs secular, or creative vs. mathematical, scientific, or whatever.

Hope that made sense.

Nonsensical

Freshstart57 got me jump started on mindfulness with these links last Summer.
Good Luck!

Bruce292

Mindfulness is a term that's used frequently in the meditation practice I've been using for the last eight months or so. I don't know if this is a "correct" definition but here goes. Basically it's being aware. Being aware of your thoughts, aware of the sounds around you, aware of where you are and what you're doing at a given moment. In reality the past doesn't exist and the future isn't here yet so, using mindfulness, we learn to live in the present. This doesn't mean we don't plan and we don't learn from the past we just try not to dwell there. During meditation we learn to essentially shut off the constant chatter that goes on in our heads. The exercises teach you how to deal with an intrusive thoughts when they arrive. For me, it's like viewing a thought as an envelope. I know what's in the thought, I know it's part of me, I even welcome it, but I choose not to open it and choose not to relive everything associated with the thought. It's a powerful tool to help shut down all the negative voices I deal with from my past and the anxiety of the future. That's what mindfulness is for me anyway.

Cascabel

Thanks Bruce. You describe mindfulness the way I understand it. I, too, use mindfulness to quiet the negative thoughts and anxieties with which I have to deal.

Tang

I was taught mindfulness through Buddhist studies. I know a lot of modern new age books use this term, so I can't say it originated with Buddhism for sure, but it is a big part of the literature. You'll see modern Buddhists like Thich Nhat Hanh write entire books on it. One recovering alcoholic Buddhist, Kevin griffin, wrote a book 'one breath at a time' incorporating mindfulness and the twelve steps. I am not advocating a specific religious or philosophical viewpoint, just sharing where I've seen the concept of "mindfulness" used extensively. Wish you the best.

freshstart57

It's not just you, Joe. It seems to a prevalent belief that 'take what you want and leave the rest' only applies to the contents of the BB, and that any aspect of mental hygiene management not to be found in the first 164 is heresy. I think that's unfortunate because so many are willfully dismissing powerful tools to find inner calm and joy that have been used for thousands of years.

The secular tools for recovery as I understand them make no assumption or prescription as to our spiritual or religious existence. You can use these tools and follow whatever spiritual or religious path with no inherent internal contradiction. In fact, AVRT and RR state that you are better equipped to follow any spiritual or religious precept that suits you once you have chosen to never drink again, and will be free to experience a fuller life in all aspects once you do so.

I don't believe that any religion or spiritual path teaches that learning to find internal peace through acceptance and gratitude meditation practices are on 'the other side of the fence'. YMMV.

Bruce, I think that is an excellent explanation. Complete and concise. Awesome. Please write some more.

azureseas

to me mindfulness is not reacting to everything like a caveman on automatic pilot

I really enjoyed Echart Tolles books on this subject, The Power of Now and A New Earth, check out he reviews of them in Amazon and you ill see a lot of folks feel the same way

It is also about understanding ego, I like these quotes...

"The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you."

- Eckhart Tolle

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” - Eckhart Tolle

Croissant

One thing I've noticed....(whether it's 'mindfulness', I guess is how you view it)
Is how much more aware I am about negative self talk that must have become hand in hand with excuses to drink.

I.e; I've had a bad day, that person stinks, my job is hell, I've got so much work to do-how am I going to get through the day.

All the little things you told yourself through the day as an alcoholic so you had 'reasons' to drink. I've really noticed it with more sobriety time under my belt.

Half the time I think I hit the snooze button in the morning because of years of hangovers, it became a normal to dread the day. Now I find I question my thoughts more.

sugarbear1

Meditation is the largest portion of the 12 step program, it is how I listen to my higher power and become inspired to do for others what needs to be done.....to be useful....

Pondlady

I started yoga last summer and "discovered" mindfulness. It's a discipline, which takes some effort on my part….reprogramming the way I respond to situations out of habit and learning to slow my thought process. I'm learning and practicing all the time….it's a journey

LadyBlue0527

Hi Toffee,

The definition of mindfulness is based on being aware and in the present moment as others have said.

Here's an example of mindfulness that occurred for me last Saturday:

By being mindful and examining the situation I was able to identify the fact that it wasn't the missing sock, the unbalanced checkbook, or not getting all of the cleaning done that was bothering me. It was my AV trying to invent high level irritation (aka a good reason to drink) to get me going because I was about to be in a place that has a multitude of awesome beers (my drink of choice). Because of that I was able to reach out to the board and get help. Only then could I keep myself safe.

Mindfulness is questioning your thoughts and saying "What is this REALLY all about?" and being honest with yourself when you answer. It's a very important tool in maintaining sobriety. Mindfulness also helps you to recognize when you're lying to yourself and to others. It requires complete honesty.

Joe Nerv

Argh... I believe I have been misunderstood. Now that I AM at work on time, I can not do my job and explain a little more clearly.

I am not one of the, "If it isn't in the first 164 pages..." people. There is nothing I read in the mindfulness books, nor any of the CBT books that I felt couldn't work side by side with the 12 steps. It actually all made a whole lot of sense to me, and I was happy to have discovered another few awesome tools. Thing is though that I had a really rough time applying the things I was reading, as if they just wouldn't stick. I put a lot of consistent effort in, but it was as if my mind would just snap back into its usual ways of thinking.

Wasn't till I started participating here that I saw there was a separation between people who use these tools, and people who use the 12 steps. I myself believe they can work together, but I can't help now to wonder if there are differences in our personalities that might make it so that some stuff just won't work. The twelve steps are not going to work for you. That seems pretty clear. And this stuff seems to work wonderfully. I have a (non alcoholic) friend who's life was completely transformed with the use of cbt and mindfulness training, so I know how valuable it can be. Just questioning whether or not I might be beating a dead horse, or whether there's a piece of this puzzle I might be missing.

I'm not looking to be argumentative. Simply looking to explore it a bit more, and thought this would be a great place to do it. I'm not looking to put down or refute any of your beliefs. Please have the same respect for me.

phoebe64

I have no education or knowledge of mindfulness as a practice, specifically. However, after Kaneda has posted about it a lot in our September thread, i am trying, on my own, to be more mindful to help me in my sobriety and to manage my emotions that trigget me to take that first drink.

I appreciate the discussion and thanks for reposting those links above, Nonsensical. And credit to freshstart for sharing them in the first place. I will surely take a look.

ru12

To me, mindfulness is simply being present in this moment. Being aware that this moment is life.

freshstart57

Joe, the fact that you are asking questions like this is deserving of huge props, and from my seat, you have them. I agree with your observation completely, that there seems to be this separation. It is unfortunate that this spiritual/secular divide is seen to exist, as many secular tools travel easily back and forth and are simply good mental hygiene. I wonder if I had been better at these skills I might not have become addicted in the first place.

For me, mindfulness is a skill that gets better with practice and repeated use. I get rusty at it sometimes, and I let my stress level serve as a reminder to take a mindful moment or two.