teatreeoil007

It seems part of any human group and some groups in the animal kingdom that cliques inevitably form. We saw it in school....we see it at work....we see in churches, clubs, associations...sports... anyways...I even saw it amongst the chickens and horses. I know I have been part of cliques before....but right now in my life I'm not....the older I get the more I realize it's just too much work for one thing and I won't sacrifice pretending to be someone I'm not just to fit into a clique.

Cliques used to bother me more than they do now. Now, I just don't really care....BUT...I do feel for others who feel "left out" and bothered by cliques....so I put my feelers out and try to reach out to those people....had a conversation with a lady just the other day about cliques and she and I both agreed they are there....and we both agreed we don't belong to one and don't want to....we are both artistic....and value our alone time....the older I get the more I value my alone time....

I've also realized to try not to judge others that I perceive are in cliques or even the ring leaders of cliques...most likely they have too much time on their hands and that is something I just don't have. I just don't have time for it. Some people feel more secure when they are part of a clique. It's part of their identity. Families tend to be "clannish"....that is one way they feel strong and secure...

Group dynamics are real interesting. It can be distracting....so the challenge is to keep your focus where it really needs to be: on yourself and your own issues....

2muchpain

I think people become part of a cliques to feel a sense of security. Unfortunately, this means that people that could use that sense of belonging are left out. Like was said before, this happens in every part of out lives. I used to go to extreme measures to try to be accepted, but it never worked out. Just wasn't meant to be. That's why AA never worked out for me. Nothing against AA. It's a great organization and has saved countless lives. But it's just human nature to feel like you are accepted, not just tolerated. Eventually you just drift away. Met some really nice people in AA and would always recommend people give it a try. Works for some, not for others. John

2muchpain

I would also like to add that everybody's situation is different. For someone with a lot of outside support such as family and friends, so finding support in AA might not be as important. It would be different for people that don't have this support and rely heavily on AA as their support network. John

teatreeoil007

I would just like to encourage anyone who is feeling alone and alienated inside a group by cliques or such: You're not alone, even if you feel you are. There is usually someone else who could be struggling with the same thing you are. So, hang in there. Group setting support is not for everyone. I don't think a person should feel like a "failure" if AA doesn't meet their needs.