7 Month Itch....?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi Imp
I think most of us have a day where we wake up and say 'gee this is hard - where's my respite?' then AV kicks in with lovely rose-coloured images of us sipping wine and being witty wild and carefree
It's not like that....it was never like that....thats a lie...and our lives are not one long struggle either - thats another lie...some days are hard, but better days are ahead
If you're feeling stressed, or scared, or put upon, or set apart, or resentful - be gentle with yourself today.
Tomorrow is bound to be better
D
I think most of us have a day where we wake up and say 'gee this is hard - where's my respite?' then AV kicks in with lovely rose-coloured images of us sipping wine and being witty wild and carefree
It's not like that....it was never like that....thats a lie...and our lives are not one long struggle either - thats another lie...some days are hard, but better days are ahead
If you're feeling stressed, or scared, or put upon, or set apart, or resentful - be gentle with yourself today.
Tomorrow is bound to be better
D
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Originally Posted by ImperfectlyMe 
Thanks dig these cravings aren't normal to me either! That's why I'm so rattled. Nothing against AA but it's not for me at least not at this point. I do volunteer twice a month consistently at an outreach center even bring my daughters to volunteer as well. I'm going to chalk it up to a ****** day, not to dwell on and be glad I recognized the " voice" as not my own.
these cravings aren't normal to me either! That's why I'm so rattled. Nothing against AA but it's not for me at least not at this point. I do volunteer twice a month consistently at an outreach center even bring my daughters to volunteer as well. I'm going to chalk it up to a ****** day, not to dwell on and be glad I recognized the " voice" as not my own.I am about a week behind you (4/17) so I can relate to where you are at in your journey. It's taken me awhile to realize that being sober doesn't make me immune to having highs and lows in life that everyone goes through whether they are alcoholics or not. It's easy for me to think that when I'm going through a low period in life that I must be doing something wrong. I think part of it is that my emotions have leveled out for the most part so I don't have as many lows. When they do happen they catch me off guard and my mind automatically assumes the worst.
That's where it really helps to have other sober alcoholics in my life I can talk to that have walked my path and understand. You said in your original post that you were regretting making this post before you even started it. Judging by the responses you are not alone in your feelings. I bet this thread not only helps you but others, as they will be able to relate to it and know that they are not alone in possibly feeling the same as you at times.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi Imoerfect,
I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way, and u often do myself. I will hit 7 months next weekend and I struggled on vacation this past week. When I saw people enjoying cocktails at the pool bar, or out at a restaurant. I was jealous because...it was vacation, and damn it, I should be able to drink!!!
I would think...why is it okay for them and not me? The answer came back...well, because they are drinking on vacation, they probably were not also drinking in the morning every day like I was.
It still stinks though, and I expect I will feel lots of this throughout the holiday season:-(
Kudos to you on your sobriety! You have inspired me since day 1!
Feel those emotions...they are part of the journey. Hugs to you, and sending support vibes your way!
I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way, and u often do myself. I will hit 7 months next weekend and I struggled on vacation this past week. When I saw people enjoying cocktails at the pool bar, or out at a restaurant. I was jealous because...it was vacation, and damn it, I should be able to drink!!!
I would think...why is it okay for them and not me? The answer came back...well, because they are drinking on vacation, they probably were not also drinking in the morning every day like I was.
It still stinks though, and I expect I will feel lots of this throughout the holiday season:-(
Kudos to you on your sobriety! You have inspired me since day 1!
Feel those emotions...they are part of the journey. Hugs to you, and sending support vibes your way!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hey, IM: Your post was so honest and so full of reality. I have seen many of your posts and you always are a warm, inspirational presence here on SR. There are peaks and valleys -- and then then we find ourselves walking on solid, peaceful ground once again. Take good care of yourself, you nice lady! Anyone who loves hydrangeas is tops in my book!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
To those of you who felt coerced or controlled by other people to quit, I can honestly say I wish I had a little more of that in my life. Everyone in my life is a drinker. My husband (not an alcoholic, a very light drinker) has been wonderfully supportive, but at the same time when I quit, he said that I was too hard on myself. I appreciate his blind adoration, but when my cravings hit hard I wish I really believed that I would have repercussions from the people who love me. Instead, I know everything is always swept under the rug in my family. My father's blind adoration is helping my mother drink herself into an early grave and in the meantime, allowing her to humiliate herself to no end. Just thought it might help if I were a devil's advocate . . .
Your mother is in my prayers tonight!!!!
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I wanted to comment on this part of your post
Wow, if that wasn't always the number one reason that I kept drinking! So that he couldn't control me!
Well, this time I nipped that one in the bud. When I was about 30 days in and feeling pretty good he made this comment to me (it was towards the end of June). "Yes, you're doing good honey but it's not now that I'm worried about, it's when you're further out towards the end of the summer and everyone starts having end of summer parties".
I stood up and looked at him and said "Excuse me? You have nothing to do with the decision that I made, my sobriety belongs to ME and to ME alone, so don't bother making any more comments about what you're worried about because this isn't about you, it's MY sobriety and I own it!"
When those words came out of my mouth I knew full well that this time was going to be different.
Just food for thought I know that "drinking so that he doesn't feel like he has control over me" feeling. I squelched that one!
"your only sober because your husband made you stop drinking, it's just another way for him to control you!"
Well, this time I nipped that one in the bud. When I was about 30 days in and feeling pretty good he made this comment to me (it was towards the end of June). "Yes, you're doing good honey but it's not now that I'm worried about, it's when you're further out towards the end of the summer and everyone starts having end of summer parties".
I stood up and looked at him and said "Excuse me? You have nothing to do with the decision that I made, my sobriety belongs to ME and to ME alone, so don't bother making any more comments about what you're worried about because this isn't about you, it's MY sobriety and I own it!"
When those words came out of my mouth I knew full well that this time was going to be different.
Just food for thought
I know that "drinking so that he doesn't feel like he has control over me" feeling. I squelched that one!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hi Imperfectly,
I also had one of those "moments" at around seven and then eight months. I was upset because I thought I had overcome all cravings forever and ever, amen.
Not so much. They aren't physical anymore but they do come and are usually triggered by sh!tty days. I think Mecanix also has something about anniversaries and dates of significance triggering stuff like this sometimes.
Glad you came here to write/think it out.
Sending you tons of hugs and positive thoughts. You're such an inspiration and comfort to so many of us here (me included!) that I know you'll get through this just fine. Until then, lean on us as much as you want. Lots of love!
I also had one of those "moments" at around seven and then eight months. I was upset because I thought I had overcome all cravings forever and ever, amen.
Not so much. They aren't physical anymore but they do come and are usually triggered by sh!tty days. I think Mecanix also has something about anniversaries and dates of significance triggering stuff like this sometimes.
Glad you came here to write/think it out.
Sending you tons of hugs and positive thoughts. You're such an inspiration and comfort to so many of us here (me included!) that I know you'll get through this just fine. Until then, lean on us as much as you want. Lots of love!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Dear IM xx i felt the tears come as soon as you said that you had tears x
I have so much empathy for you , my friend .
The best thing is that you actually wrote it down and put your words and feelings down on paper ( virtual ) once you did that, you released some of your angst.
I'm sure this is just a bad day for you hun and tomorrow will be better .
The smart thing about you is that you seem to recognise what is happening and that i itself is helping you move past this.
ThT ...and your friends here who love and care for you.
Nefermichael . What a sweetheart you are . Those butterflies made my lift mood too . Thank you xx you are ALWAYS so positive xx
You are always the first to help everyone...i hope we can reciprocate ...xxxxx
Much love a huge ********** hugs }}}}}}
Xxxxxx
I have so much empathy for you , my friend .
The best thing is that you actually wrote it down and put your words and feelings down on paper ( virtual ) once you did that, you released some of your angst.
I'm sure this is just a bad day for you hun and tomorrow will be better .
The smart thing about you is that you seem to recognise what is happening and that i itself is helping you move past this.
ThT ...and your friends here who love and care for you.
Nefermichael . What a sweetheart you are . Those butterflies made my lift mood too . Thank you xx you are ALWAYS so positive xx
You are always the first to help everyone...i hope we can reciprocate ...xxxxx
Much love a huge ********** hugs }}}}}}
Xxxxxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
The best part of my day is now mammoth size coffee and SR!
I feel stronger then ever fighting yesterday's kamikaze style AV ambush. Grunge head thanks for pointing out that the thread could help more then myself. I have trouble asking for help, in the regards to not looking weak. But putting it out there and having friends lift me up turned a negative experience into a highlight of my recovery.
I have now cemented my belief that I am NOT powerless over alcohol rather, it's powerless over me.
Dee thanks for your word I always like to see the softer side of Dee, must be that Janice, "electric mayham"
rubbing off on you.
Snoozie if you didn't live half way around the world and your today wasn't my tomorrow we'd be going out for coffee love ya!!!
mammoth size coffee and SR!I feel stronger then ever fighting yesterday's kamikaze style AV ambush. Grunge head thanks for pointing out that the thread could help more then myself. I have trouble asking for help, in the regards to not looking weak. But putting it out there and having friends lift me up turned a negative experience into a highlight of my recovery.
I have now cemented my belief that I am NOT powerless over alcohol rather, it's powerless over me.
Dee thanks for your word I always like to see the softer side of Dee, must be that Janice, "electric mayham"
rubbing off on you.Snoozie if you didn't live half way around the world and your today wasn't my tomorrow we'd be going out for coffee
love ya!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
****** The best part of my day is now mammoth size coffee and SR!*******
Haha ditto lovely ;-)
And you know what ? If you ever come to Australia , I would just love to have that coffee with you .
You would be welcomed with open arms xxxxxx
Love ewe xx
Haha ditto lovely ;-)
And you know what ? If you ever come to Australia , I would just love to have that coffee with you .
You would be welcomed with open arms xxxxxx
Love ewe xx
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
I wanted to comment on this part of your post
Wow, if that wasn't always the number one reason that I kept drinking! So that he couldn't control me!
Well, this time I nipped that one in the bud. When I was about 30 days in and feeling pretty good he made this comment to me (it was towards the end of June). "Yes, you're doing good honey but it's not now that I'm worried about, it's when you're further out towards the end of the summer and everyone starts having end of summer parties".
I stood up and looked at him and said "Excuse me? You have nothing to do with the decision that I made, my sobriety belongs to ME and to ME alone, so don't bother making any more comments about what you're worried about because this isn't about you, it's MY sobriety and I own it!"
When those words came out of my mouth I knew full well that this time was going to be different.
Just food for thought I know that "drinking so that he doesn't feel like he has control over me" feeling. I squelched that one!
Wow, if that wasn't always the number one reason that I kept drinking! So that he couldn't control me!
Well, this time I nipped that one in the bud. When I was about 30 days in and feeling pretty good he made this comment to me (it was towards the end of June). "Yes, you're doing good honey but it's not now that I'm worried about, it's when you're further out towards the end of the summer and everyone starts having end of summer parties".
I stood up and looked at him and said "Excuse me? You have nothing to do with the decision that I made, my sobriety belongs to ME and to ME alone, so don't bother making any more comments about what you're worried about because this isn't about you, it's MY sobriety and I own it!"
When those words came out of my mouth I knew full well that this time was going to be different.
Just food for thought
I know that "drinking so that he doesn't feel like he has control over me" feeling. I squelched that one! Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
ImperfectlyMe - I just wanted to jump in here and let you know that I have been following your posts since I started this at the beginning of the month (25 days without drinking now), and your candor, compassion, your humor and your genuineness (is that a word?) has been a huge help to me. This getting sober thing is hard and my body/mind is in turmoil right now, but your posts are always bright and full of life, even when you are sharing something sad.
Just wanted to share that you are a special person and remind you that you probably help more people than you could possibly know.
Hang in there, tell AV to get lost. Hugs and smiles.
Just wanted to share that you are a special person and remind you that you probably help more people than you could possibly know.
Hang in there, tell AV to get lost. Hugs and smiles.
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