Nov20

Today is day one for me. I have drank nearly a whole bottle of vodka every night for the past 4 years. I've known it was a problem for quite some time. I thought I could just "quit on my own" but only make it 1-2 days, and back to the liquor store I go!
My turning point was this morning - I drank so much last night that I blacked out. I don't remember anything. My husband says we argued and I said hurtful things. I have NO memory of this.
I want control of my life again. I'm scared that tomorrow evening, when kids are asleep and it's "me" time will be the hardest. I'm most terrified of the depression that comes with the withdraw. I'm very hopeful that this, along with AA meetings (which I start tomorrow), will help give me the support I need.

foolsgold66

Welcome to SR. The first week is a bear. I really suggest you get to your doctor, tell him all, and speak about your wish to stop. You are likely going to experience physical withdrawal, your doctor can help you with managing symptoms.

Dee74

Welcome Nov20

Yes blackouts are horrifying. The only thing worse is getting used to them...

You'll find a lot of support and understanding here

D

GotGrace

Hi Nov20! Welcome!

Nov20

Thank you!! What withdraw symptoms should I be prepared for? I googled it, but goodness that made it seem like you'd just die there were so many :0

foolsgold66

It varies greatly. At the very least you should experience depression, trouble sleeping, irritability, trouble concentrating... It can be quite a list, some have shaking, seizures, stomach issues, dry heaves, etc. I had auditory hallucinations the last several times.

Leana

We can't give medical advice.
Withdrawal symptoms vary depending on the severity of the addiction. I agree to talk to a doctor and get medical help. At the very least, I would expect to have a tough time sleeping, feel anxious, irritable, headaches, sweating.

foolsgold66

If that was your first blackout you're a quick study to be here talking with us. That is a GOOD thing. Please get in to the doctor, even a quick med place should be able to get you a little help managing symptoms and knowing when to worry and not....

We aren't all that smart to have done it that way, but it is the safest plan.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Nov20. I was drinking every day when I came here too. It was so wonderful to get free. You can do it!

Ruby2

Welcome. I was a nightly drinker. Beer or wine for me and a lot of it. I would second the suggestion to see your doctor if you were drinking that much with that frequency over four years. Sometimes the discomfort of withdrawal drives people right back to the bottle.

Another thing to consider is that once you go through any withdrawal the feeling of well being afterwards sometimes makes people think that they can drink again too.

Good luck.

malcolmsloan

Hi Nov20,
Today, 11/20, is my first day, too. I totally relate to the drinking after the kids go to bed routine, and I relate to the boozy arguments. Thanks for posting. Hearing the experiences of others does not make me feel so alone here in my house of addiction.

Rave

Depends on the person. I'm 21 which may be the only reason I didn't have DTs. I sweat a lot. Insomnia. Brain fog. Cravings. Anxiety. Depression. I've done this so many times I'm just used to it. I'm on day 3 again. After about two weeks I can sleep through the night and wKe up refreshed.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum, yeah first couple of days are a challenge, but if you push through the symptoms, there is light on the other side.

Withdrawing from a bottle of vodka a day over 4 years, to be safe though best seeing a doctor.

Sleeping I found is the big challenge, passing out at night was my daily routine, so now trying to fall asleep without alcohol took some getting used to, but waking up fresh is worth persevering with it.

Wastinglife

I drank vodka daily for years too. I think there is a good chance you may get nasty withdrawal symptoms. I had a couple really bad detoxes that usually started with sweating and shaky hands. You may want to have your husband keep an eye on you cuz things could get bad.

JaylaaKent

I went to my DR - just was brutally honest. He was awesome and has been monitoring me. I had to get blood work done last week. Being a woman, the alcohol takes a faster/harder toll on us than the gentlemen. My liver damage is almost gone (3 months no alcohol) and he gave me some temporary sleeping pills to help with insomnia. I don't even need them anymore

Nov20

Thank you all so much! This is quite helpful. Day two for me now, and I don't have the urge to drink, but feel very tired and have horrible anxiety. I take Wellbutrin for the anxiety, hopefully it will help me get over this hurdle. It's like I feel "scared" idk why.
Tonight is my first AA meeting. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm hopeful!

Hevyn

The anxiety is normal in the beginning - I had it too. I was also exhausted from abusing my poor body. I hope the meeting goes well Nov. You sound positive.

Nov20

Thank you. It's what I'm most worried about. I had panic attacks even before I started drinking, and I've read horror stories online of suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, confusion, etc. Lord, I hope this doesn't happen to me!!

least

I'm glad you joined our family. We support each other on our sober journeys and it's less lonely that way.

Rave

If you're up and functioning you're past the point of bad hallucinations. You're bed ridden if you have DTs. The carpet and walls might move a little if you focus on it late at night. Lol but it's not scary by any means. Keep doing what you're doing and expect the unexpected. Anything weird you go through is almost certainly related to getting sober. Welcome to a whole new world! Once the negative effects wear off sobriety is like a drug in itself. Everything is new and exciting.