ProgressNotPerfection

Wonderful! Many problem drinkers find it relatively easy to stop drinking once they've figured it out - those of us with a mental obsession, however . . .

I am happy for you and wish it was that easy for everyone.

FeenixxRising

No, I apologize to you Johnny. My post was impolite and tactless. I now see that your intent was sincere and good. I inferred things from your post that were not true. I need to learn how to pause and rethink before I hit the "submit reply" button.

I hope my reaction does not deter you from contributing here. I see you have a wealth of experience and wisdom when it comes to recovery, and I for one can use all the help I can get.

Again, my apologies to you and to the board in general; grumpiness and abrasiveness is one of my character flaws, but I'm working on it

ProgressNotPerfection

Hey thanks for the consideration, I appreciate it. I too can do other people's thinking for them and screw it up - especially my wifes! LOL She reminds me she doesn't need my help, she's perfectly capable of screwing it up herself!!

Thanks again and keep coming back (to the boards) it gets better!

Itchy

I am complacent. Still an alcoholic. Still can never even try moderation. I used AA taking what I could use and left the rest. I also had a shrink that said I would never make it on my own if I left rehab after only three days and one AA meeting they forced me to attend. I detested it. Then came here as I had ten days at that point. A 7day detox, and three days in a rehab I did not need for baby sitting. Then some folks here let me know that mixed AA and NA meetings like I was forced to attend were not the norm, and every group was different. I found a great local home group and stayed for three months twice a week. Never did the steps or got a sponsor, didn't need them. But I did need the sober friends and camaraderie, the non judgmental hearing me and letting me know it will be alright. After three months I stayed on here in gratitude for everything. I do visit my home group and see my friends who need permanent meeting support.

I used SR, AA, counselors, family, my Docs, and my own RET background where much of the Rational and other programs drew their basics from.

From each I wanted tools, not theology. Hope not judgment. Successful in sobriety people to holler back from months and years more than me to let me know what the path between us holds. I almost quit SR because of the many relapses and folks making out like it is inevitable. It is not. The only thing that scares me today is the thought of ever going back to the self imprisonment and mental/physical illness I got from alcohol.

Only another alcoholic can understand that helplessness that some of us never overcome, despite that being a choice for each of us. I choose life. I am a non-drinker. I am free.

I do recommend AA many times because they are already tapped into recovery resources and professionals in the local area. I truly believe that, despite big book thumpers, and those who choose to ignore the 20 something times being recovered is mentioned in it, that AA is possible to get started, short, medium, and long term.

AA members did not abduct me, force me to join a religion, brainwash me, or cook me in a pot and eat me. If I were that easily influenced I'd have never been smart enough to sober up. Folks, take what you can use, and leave the rest with every recovery method. If it is not working for you switch add or subtract.

All of the tips modified for non AArs apply to all programs, and we all know it. That not to say AA, is required for all in the beginning. But all the negatives about it are hogwash. Oh there are axe holes, as in a hole in a steel head dull on one side and sharpened on the other good only for cutting and pounding, in every recovery group.

See, some do need a meeting every day, no effect on me, but can be the world for them. I no longer needed my two meetings a week to stay sober I used for the first three months. I don't need SR any more either. But like AA, I like to stop by and see my friends and maybe encourage another to stay the course to recovery. Many of us can, and do recover. I did, three years ago come the 21st of this month. Now it is like real birthdays. Yawn. I get excited seeing all the effort of the noobs, and their bright excited posts for every day. Now, their third, seventh, or 30th day sober is much more exciting than my being a non-drinker with no cravings. I mention the years because I remember how in awe I was, but yet reassured that it could be done by me too. So I did.

Do whatever it takes. I agree the OP had it right.

You see, we all have one thing in common. We are here, and doing what we can.

Fandy

I NEVER said it was "easy" and i assure you that I am a REAL alcoholic...I may have started out as a problem drinker, but it progressed...Please don't *assume* anything, just because i use a different way to look at booze.

I'm sure my mental obsession is as flamboyant as someone who chooses your method.

I hit 2 years sober in May, 2013...I don't like to count, I obsess too much, so I removed my obsession by not counting...off the table, not an option.

GracieLou

Congrats on your 40 days!


Well if that ain't practicing the tenth step then I don't know what is. That is sobriety talking right there! Good for you!

ProgressNotPerfection

It isn't completely fair to say I'm assuming anything - your post makes your dance with recovery sound like a simple decision, no fuss, no muss, no struggle, no late nights sweating, thinking about drinking. Ah, no big deal!

Usually such folks [if indeed that is what you experience - it does come across that way] are problem drinkers, not alcoholics - I didn't mean to minimize your struggle - but dang! you make it sound like choosing toast instead of an english muffin - that ain't alcoholism!!

Dee74

Lets not minmise anyone's struggle here.
Everyone here is here because they have a problem.

Taking the drink off the table as an option is actually one of my mantras, Johnny.

It may not have worked for you, but it certainly worked for me, and it's obviously worked for Fandy and many others here.

D

ersatzmatriarch

i second what dee wrote... only i would have written it with a lot less tact. (that's one of the many reasons dee rocks these boards, and i don't.)

but, for the record... nobody's drinking and nobody's recovery is better than or worse than or greater than or more perfect than anyone's.

what gets us here, gets us here. what heals us, heals us. no ifs, ands or buts about it.

and (preemptive apologies, mods) i'm 100% certain there is a step about taking your own inventory, johnny... never saw the one about taking someone else's... i'm just saying.

Gottalife

Johnny did not write Fandy's post. From my reading of it Fandy's post minimised Fandy's struggle. Johnny's reponses seem reasonable and considerate.

Dee74

I'm not going to get bogged down on what someone else said or what they meant or who's interpretation is the right one.

This is a support forum and it's my job to see thats our main focus.

This rule applies to everyone.

as does this one

as does this principle
I also posted this recently:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...7103-idea.html

I really dunno how much clearer I have to make it.

No posts have been removed, but please - lets focus back on the original post/topic, and away from anything else, or I'll have to close the thread.

D

Fandy

gee, I stand by what I wrote..simple willpower and common sense...once the fog cleared, COMMON SENSE took over why let a beverage control my life and make me sick, so sick I could not function? we are talking really sick, alcohol exacerbated my depression to the point where I seriously contemplated suicide.

"that ain't alcoholism" is really not a compassionate thing to tell someone, especially since you just arrived here...wow, that instant AA perception.

you have no right to judge anyone.

ok, I'm out of here...I'm not going to make more work for the moderators.

wakko

I fine the longer.I am sober the more I know but the less I understand. I am fascinated though with people who have long term sobriety and are happy with life. All recovery is good regardless of the path but the people I listen to are the ones who have proved that they know to stay sober

Dee74

Ok it seems like we're not going to get past this.

I find it's always better to share your own experience here - passing comment on others experience, however well meaning, can often be misconstrued, and often lead to threads ending up in weird places.

Johnny you're more than welcome to start other threads sharing your experience.

For the rest of us, lets find another thread to help people on.
Thread closed.

D