Five Keys To Recovery
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
Five Keys To Recovery
Freely gotten; freely given!
First – Ninety In Ninety! – Attend ninety meetings in ninety days. Most of us actively used at least ninety days in a row. We can do ninety in ninety! Attending ninety meetings in ninety days is possible for everyone who lives in an area where there are enough meetings. If there aren’t meetings on a daily basis in your area, go to as many as possible. Meetings don’t keep us clean and sober – that is where we learn what to do out in the world to stay in recovery and we learn those things from people that have stayed clean and sober by doing them. Doing this is a key to your success!
Second – Get Phone Numbers! – Get phone numbers from members that you meet at the meetings. Men work with men, women work with women. This saves many complications. Get same-sex phone numbers – as many as possible. Ask what the best time to call is – and make a note of those that say anytime – they mean it – and making a call at three in the morning might just save your life! You may not believe it, but you are actually helping those you call as much as they are helping you! Recovery is a process of action – we need to help others to fully recovery from what ails us! Doing this is a key to your success!
Third – Get A Sponsor! – A sponsor is member of the program who has agreed to show you how to work the steps of the program – all twelve of them! Again, men work with men – women work with women. Sponsors are people who have learned how to stay clean and sober by working the steps of the program. Get a sponsor, call your sponsor, meet with your sponsor – they agreed to do these things and more when they agreed to be your sponsor! Believe it or not, you are helping them with their program as much as they are helping you with yours! Doing this is a key to your success!
Fourth – Read The Instructions! – What’s the old saying: “When all else fails, read the instructions!” Get a copy of the Big Book (the basic text), and any other approved literature. We have no opinion on outside issues - non-approved literature is an outside issue. If you can’t afford these books, ask your sponsor to help you get copies of them. Reading the instructions can explain a good deal of the program. Ask your sponsor where to start – there is a great fortune of knowledge about recovery which is free for the taking in these manuals! Doing this is a key to your success!
Fifth – Follow The Suggestions – Follow the suggestions heard at the tables. You might discuss them with your sponsor if they seem confusing. Remember that meetings alone don’t keep us clean and sober. All they do is show us what we can do to stay clean and sober, and we are shown how to do that by people who are staying clean and sober. Furthermore, it is only when we apply what we learn at the meetings to our daily life, to our interactions with other people and to the relationship we have with our higher power that our recovery results in us being happy, joyous and free! After all, these are the three by-products of working the program. Doing this is a key to your success!
Remember – it is your choice! You’ve been given the keys to success in this program. Will you use them to open the door to freedom or throw them away, choosing instead to remain a prisoner of your affliction?
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
These were the simple steps that i HAD to follow to recover.
I tried everything else but nothing worked.
I also was in the chair for awhile wondering why the miracle didnt happen for me like it did everyone else.
When I was ready to get HONEST with myself and do exactly what the program suggests, PRESTO.
I thinks its funny now when someone says "I tried AA, it wasnt for me"
I ask, did you do these 5 things. Usually the answer is No, i did one of them. This doesnt work.
AA saved my life
I tried everything else but nothing worked.
I also was in the chair for awhile wondering why the miracle didnt happen for me like it did everyone else.
When I was ready to get HONEST with myself and do exactly what the program suggests, PRESTO.
I thinks its funny now when someone says "I tried AA, it wasnt for me"
I ask, did you do these 5 things. Usually the answer is No, i did one of them. This doesnt work.
AA saved my life
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
From personal observation, when it comes to staying sober and being content and balanced I found out that people have the 5 following attitudes:
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by wakko 
Yes this is "a" way to get sober but it is highly suggested that you listen to people that have almost 30 years of sobriety regardless of how they got there.
It becomes tedious when many members of a certain recovery group consistently imply that it's a "choice" between their method or the grave.
Anyway, I've said my piece, so I'll bow out of this particular conversation.
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by Carlotta
From personal observation, when it comes to staying sober and being content and balanced I found out that people have the 5 following attitudes:
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Sage observations
Originally Posted by Carlotta
From personal observation, when it comes to staying sober and being content and balanced I found out that people have the 5 following attitudes:
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
Coming into the rooms I have seen many wide and varied methodologies and interpretations. There are some basic principals but again I have seen successful AA members with/without sponsors, following/not following the 12 steps, etc. However, they do follow the above 5 principles adopted in their individual way
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by FeenixxRising
I'm sincerely happy the OP has 29 years of sobriety; however, I stop listening when someone implies I either do my recovery their way, or I'll "remain a prisoner" of my affliction. And that's what the OP did in his last paragraph.
It becomes tedious when many members of a certain recovery group consistently imply that it's a "choice" between their method or the grave.
Anyway, I've said my piece, so I'll bow out of this particular conversation.
It becomes tedious when many members of a certain recovery group consistently imply that it's a "choice" between their method or the grave.
Anyway, I've said my piece, so I'll bow out of this particular conversation.
Whole lives of alcohol abuse may need somewhat varied approaches.
I admire those with very long sobriety but see them too,as one drink away from a drunk.
Sobriety is too important to allow probability factors let anyone become complacent.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
so glad this works for you!
for myself, i used all 5 keys fully (plus several others), and, though i regret none of that part of my journey, it's not where i need to be. but that's okay, too.
i do have to say... one of my dearest, and most long-term friends (30+ years together) is an old-timer, and i don't know if it's her program or just her splendid soul (or likely a mix of both), but i wouldn't have even been able to start my recovery journey without her love and support and experience of a sober life well-lived.
for myself, i used all 5 keys fully (plus several others), and, though i regret none of that part of my journey, it's not where i need to be. but that's okay, too.
i do have to say... one of my dearest, and most long-term friends (30+ years together) is an old-timer, and i don't know if it's her program or just her splendid soul (or likely a mix of both), but i wouldn't have even been able to start my recovery journey without her love and support and experience of a sober life well-lived.
Sober since March 21, 2013
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 262
After over 40 years of alcohol abuse I discovered a solution that works 100% of the time for me.
It's also guaranteed to work 100% for anyone who tries it.
I just never pick up the first drink.
In all my years of alcohol abuse not one drink forced me to drink it.
It's also guaranteed to work 100% for anyone who tries it.
I just never pick up the first drink.
In all my years of alcohol abuse not one drink forced me to drink it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
Originally Posted by FeenixxRising
I'm sincerely happy the OP has 29 years of sobriety; however, I stop listening when someone implies I either do my recovery their way, or I'll "remain a prisoner" of my affliction. And that's what the OP did in his last paragraph.
It becomes tedious when many members of a certain recovery group consistently imply that it's a "choice" between their method or the grave.
Anyway, I've said my piece, so I'll bow out of this particular conversation.
It becomes tedious when many members of a certain recovery group consistently imply that it's a "choice" between their method or the grave.
Anyway, I've said my piece, so I'll bow out of this particular conversation.
It may be tedious to hear the same thing over and over again, but I must admit, my mind is open. I'm real happy to hear alternative success stories.
I don't claim the way I was shown is the only way. It does seem to have the most success of any early recovery habit list I've seen.
Rather than bowing out of the conversion, why not share what you have found to work for you, rather than shoot and run?
I didn't come into the fellowship reinventing the wheel. I simply did as suggested and bingo, it worked for me.
FeenixxRising, please, what has worked for you?
And thanks for adding your experience, strength and hope to the thread.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
Originally Posted by Carlotta
From personal observation, when it comes to staying sober and being content and balanced I found out that people have the 5 following attitudes:
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
a) They are honest with themselves about being an alcoholic/addict and never being able to pick up again and are ok with it.
b) Whatever is their recovery method, they give it 100 percent. They don't work an half baked program.
c) They learn to let go of grudges and resentments and not sweat the small stuff (as in How important will it be a few years down the line? Will I even remember it?)
d) They also tend to get "out of themselves" by doing service of some kind whether it is helping other alcoholic or addicts or helping people in the greater community by volunteering.
e) They move on and move forward and avoid self pity at all cost. Hand in hand with that, they take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming others.
This is a wonderful observation about where people end up in the program, not where they start in the program - a wonderful observation none the less and one I completely agree with. But how does the new comer get from where they are when they seek recovery to where these folks are at the time of this observation?
And for the record, my length of sobriety simply means I came into the program before folks with less time, but I am indeed one drink away from a drunk just like the next guy. None of the rules have changed for me given my length of clean and sober time. None of them. I'm still learning, still growing, still changing -- still learning to accept life on life's terms.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by FeenixxRising
It becomes tedious when many members of a certain recovery group consistently imply that it's a "choice" between their method or the grave.
What becomes tedious is when that is not understood, and when well meaning posts get p1ssed all over by anti-AA's... that is what is getting tedious.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by Johnny152
FeenixxRising, please, what has worked for you?
And thanks for adding your experience, strength and hope to the thread.
And thanks for adding your experience, strength and hope to the thread.
I've known this intellectually for quite a while, but I've never really felt it deep down. Consequently, I've always had lingering thoughts that I could someday resume drinking with control. I realized those thoughts are what led me to relapse. So I removed them. If they pop into my head, I simply tell myself "no, you can't" and go on about my daily business.
For the last 40 days it has worked, I've had very few urges, or even thoughts about drinking. I know it sounds simple, and perhaps it is, but it's the truth. I'm finding that as each day goes by, I'm neither thinking about drinking or thinking abut "not" drinking. My attitude is neutral.
Each day I remind myself of my alcoholism, more importantly I make myself "feel" that I can longer drink. I feel that's very important. If I do not do this, I will become complacent.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
Fantastic!
Originally Posted by FeenixxRising
I'm new to sobriety (40 days today), but this time around, my attitude is quite different than it was during previous attempts. Primarily, I came to accept deep down to my core that I'm an alcoholic, that I cannot drink with control, and I will never be able to drink with control.
I've known this intellectually for quite a while, but I've never really felt it deep down. Consequently, I've always had lingering thoughts that I could someday resume drinking with control. I realized those thoughts are what led me to relapse. So I removed them. If they pop into my head, I simply tell myself "no, you can't" and go on about my daily business.
For the last 40 days it has worked, I've had very few urges, or even thoughts about drinking. I know it sounds simple, and perhaps it is, but it's the truth. I'm finding that as each day goes by, I'm neither thinking about drinking or thinking abut "not" drinking. My attitude is neutral.
Each day I remind myself of my alcoholism, more importantly I make myself "feel" that I can longer drink. I feel that's very important. If I do not do this, I will become complacent.
I've known this intellectually for quite a while, but I've never really felt it deep down. Consequently, I've always had lingering thoughts that I could someday resume drinking with control. I realized those thoughts are what led me to relapse. So I removed them. If they pop into my head, I simply tell myself "no, you can't" and go on about my daily business.
For the last 40 days it has worked, I've had very few urges, or even thoughts about drinking. I know it sounds simple, and perhaps it is, but it's the truth. I'm finding that as each day goes by, I'm neither thinking about drinking or thinking abut "not" drinking. My attitude is neutral.
Each day I remind myself of my alcoholism, more importantly I make myself "feel" that I can longer drink. I feel that's very important. If I do not do this, I will become complacent.
To me, recovery is also about learning to handle life's ******** without turning to the drink - things like anger, death, frustration, aging, family, finances and on and on. Meetings, whether in cyberspace or meatspace, give us an opportunity to learn many tools on how to deal with situations that we used to solve with drinking.
I do wish you the best of luck and I apologize for making you feel like you might not stay sober unless you did things "my" way. My intent is to convey hope, not fear, so I'm looking at and re-writing the "Five Keys of Recovery" to better function in the manner intended. Thanks for your input and responses!
Best of luck - and if I can ever help in any way, please ask!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
like my dear friend Impurrfect/Amy says...."not an option" (drinking booze)...it's off the table..simple, no frills. I tell myself that alcohol is simply a beverage...there are so many to choose from (i'm a big fan of sparkling white grape juice mixer with my fresh soda stream seltzer, less calories).
a simple beverage does not control my life...really, that's my "big plan", I have become a non-drinker...with a lot more health and wealth since i stopped wasting my $$ on booze.
GASP! who KNEW?
i also love decaff herbal teas..Earl Gray
a simple beverage does not control my life...really, that's my "big plan", I have become a non-drinker...with a lot more health and wealth since i stopped wasting my $$ on booze.
GASP! who KNEW?
i also love decaff herbal teas..Earl Gray
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