Dee74

if someone posts about a recovery method that's worked for them, but is not your personal recovery method...why not simply move on, and not post....or wish them well, and move on?

also...if you want to post about your recovery method, please do - but also please remember that we here at SR hold that there are a variety of ways to recovery.

We have a variety of approaches at play here, and that respect and tolerance for other posters beliefs, and the ways they've achieved recovery, is one of our core values.

This is not about anyone in particular - so no apologies please - just please remember guys - we're all on the same side

If you see a post that you think breaks our rules, please report it.

If someone is annoying the very marrow in your bones - use the ignore function: select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.

D

LadyinBC

Whatever recovery method works for someone is okay in my books! The bottom line is whatever keeps you sober and sane.

Sometimes when I feel a strong reaction to a post, I will sit and give it food for thought, as there is something in me that is reacting to it and I need to figure out why.

Imabuleva

All recovery is good recovery.

Nuudawn

Thank you Dee.

(Also glad to know you are a "male moderator". Does that mean the ladies only have to listen to Anna now : )

LadyBlue0527

Excellent post Dee! We need to remember that we're all fighting the same battle. Recovery programs are not one size fits all. The simple fact that someone is doing something about the problem should be celebrated!

Mark75

yea, that's a good idea. thanx Dee

ImperfectlyMe

Hey nuu I noticed the addition of " male" yesterday too had to clear my eyes a few times thought dee had changed it to Male Model

Cheryl088

My philosophy is whatever works and there are more recovery methods available these days, I have had a long time sober with a more modern method that does not incorporate AA, though I respect AA. I feel healthy, balanced and so personally different now... sobriety is more than just 'not drinking' I know that, I work on all that too.

It's been quite awhile since I have been here. Just one thing I would probably say - I do not know if talk about 'moderation' is appropriate in the newcomers section, and it seems to be an issue here atm. I'm not saying it should not be discussed at all as I know people who claim success with it under certain programs, for me I am just no longer interested I'm okay with abstinence now, life is a lot simpler this way for me and drinking was never a part of my social lifestyle anyway, I drank alone and in private mainly. So I do not miss that aspect of it. That's just me and I know others feel differently. Not here to debate that.

If you do want to try moderation I don't think self experimentation is the way to go, most of the moderation programs recommend a good sober period first, and you should try a very well monitored plan not spur of the moment...

Some people claim success with moderation methods but I have seen others do harm to themselves trying one method after another, if you keep trying methods and they don't work what does that tell you? You should probably give up altogether. But still they remain obsessed with being able to drink again in 'moderation' which I don't feel is healthy and in many cases seems to impede their overall recovery. They end up in a cycle of harmful binge drinking with in between abstinence which does not help them at all (I've seen cases in media where people have supposedly died from binge drinking on lowered tolerance). A so called 'normal' social drinker does not obsess over these issues the obsession in itself is probably a concern in recovery.

In early recovery it is natural to wish for the ability to drink again sensibly typical alcoholic thinking. I can understand how in early recovery/newcomers talk about moderation could be triggering and not helpful to the recovery process. Maybe it needs management under another section... just a suggestion but I don't feel it's that appropriate to discuss moderation methods here. Certainly I don't feel it's suitable for newcomers/people in early stages of recovery when their thinking is still very vulnerable day to day.

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Cheryl

we promote abstinence here - the vast majority of us have found that's where the solution lies.

But there are people at all points of the journey here. Some are still drinking (or using) but want to quit, and we welcome them.

Also, like it or not, attempts at moderation are part of a lot of peoples journeys and I think we need to accept that.

Naturally there is a line we expect people to abide by , and that line is pretty clearly set out in our rule 2

I don't think most people who are struggling with stopping or perhaps trying moderation are promoting drinking or using for anyone else

There's a lot of good advice and great support here and I think it's that good advice and support that most newcomers come away with

D

Cheryl088

Yes we need to accept that people are going to try but I'm talking about the specific moderation plans out there... I know that they screwed with my thinking in early recovery with too much talk about them in the wrong section. And I'm sorry I haven't read much here but it comes up as an issue time to time.

I also accept that maybe some people are able to go back to moderation eventually if they had a period of heavy drinking associated with stress/trauma, it's not true for an alcoholic like I am it goes way beyond that. Some people come here and do want to discuss moderation methods, I saw it previously here, and it would get heated and sometimes spill over into newcomers... I think you need to make clear guidelines on it because newcomers are vulnerable and not ready for this talk. I noticed a newcomer here post about it in another thread, a person disturbed by it, and it concerns me because I remember how vulnerable I was.

I respect the forum Dee, I think these divisive issues don't help anybody's recovery. And part of recovery is learning tolerance of others. I'm happy going my own way... just dropped by to check in on some people I knew. Thanks and thank you for clarifying the stance in your post.

Dee74

If you want to drop me a line about what you mean exactly by specific moderation plans, we can talk about it more then

D

KristyCat

I think it's really important to remember how deadly this illness is--the disease of addiction. And arguing over which recovery method is better just seems completely pointless and petty...

And insulting someone's recovery program--that just makes me really sad That program may be saving that person's life.

Personally I like using a variety of methods of different programs, I go to AA, DBT group, therapy, have good nutrition, an exercise program, and I'm constantly learning new things! I'm pretty new at all this, and I'm open to trying anything that may help me live a sober, healthy life...ultimately these things are saving my life....these programs help us fight this horrible disease!

Mizzuno

Thanks for this post. A little of this and that has always worked for me. I have learned a great deal from all of the methods people use. Great post Dee!

mecanix

If someone is living life sober i'm thrilled for them . period ( as some of my american friends would say )

Bestwishes, m