EndGameNYC

It's often less threatening to engage our problems indirectly, if only because doing so is less frightening than tackling them head-on. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people are able to immerse themselves immediately and directly in recovery, but I doubt this is the norm.

Enrolling in a diet program instead of alcohol treatment, and watching a horror film which allows you to vicariously watch people who are terrified and also suffering from a power over which they have no control...It's a good start to engaging your personal monsters in a more direct way.

Hevyn

Pleased to meet you Aislin. I'm so glad you reached out for some help. The people here got me back on my feet & helped me stay sober after a life long drinking habit. I know you can do it too - it'll feel great to be free.

Nuudawn

Ah yes, the "drunken bomb shelter". I did not coin that expression. I picked it up in the book I'm currently reading "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. It's a powerful read.

Aislin

Thanks Imperfectly Me but unfortunately I have already started on the wine. However I have told hubbie that I want to try and stop for abit starting tomorrow. His response wasn't particularily helpful because he has next week off and said 'oh great, you wont be drinking on my week off!' He is also like me and sees having fun as having alcohol involved. I am hoping that I can show him that it doesn't matter if I am not drinking.

hayley86

You make it sound like stopping drinking is a temporary thing. Do you not think you are better telling him that you are stopping drinking all together?. If you tell him how serious this is to you he might be more supportive. Wishing you well.

Aislin

It frightens me to think of it as forever

HeadLump

I understand that, Aislin, and it frightened me, too, at the start. But the longer I've been sober, the better I've felt and the more I've come to realise that the sober me is happier and a nicer, less selfish person. I'm more the person I want to be.

Give yourself a few weeks and see how you feel. You may find that alcohol looks far less attractive when viewed through the prism of sobriety.

(((hugs)))

pinkdog

Hi Aislin, I ate alot of junkfood when drinking. I woke up to fast-food wrappers and half-eaten candy. I bet you will eat healthier food when sober. Food that you think thru beforehand, instead of grabbing whatever at the moment. Make a plan, what will you do when 4 o'clock rolls around. Best wishes.

ImperfectlyMe

It frightens me as well... But sometimes the image of my future as an alcoholic are far more frightening!

Nuudawn in also reading that book halfway through it love the line about when she drinks she pulls the shade down in her mind that's what it was like when I was drinking shut the world out and off!

Aislin

Yes Pinkdog, I eat loads of c**p when drinking. We buy takeaways that we really cant afford because I cant be bothered and am too drunk to cook. I wake up in the morning not even remembering eating them. What a waste of money. I also overeat when I am drunk, I eat beyond fullness which I don't think I would do if sober

Imperfectly Me, I agree about thinking of being like this forever. That is frightening and When I look up the health consequences that frightens me too

Than you everyone for all your wonderful support. I am so glad I found this forum

kellyg

Good luck Aislin. You will find great support on these boards if you are ready to stop drinking. And you have to be ready to do it.

ReadyAtLast

welcome aislin
try not to do too much all at once, Inearly sobriety your body will crave certain foods, listen to your body and eat what you need to do to avoid alcohol. If you're starving yourself on a new diet and you get fed up it will be easy to pick up the wine. Giving up alcohol really is the most important first step. diets can wait till you're more established in your sobriety maybe. Allow yourself some treats if that's what you want. don't be too hard on yourself

alphaomega

I was a two bottle a day wino. Until it no longer worked. Then I started flirting with a third or maybe a few slugs off the vodka bottle to get myself good and knocked out.

Ive got 22 days sober today. One of my SR comrades said "Alpha, you gotta beg, borrow or steal those few precious months of sobriety to really see what life has in store for you". I heeded that and can't believe the difference.

You can do this. We can help.

resolute50

It's hard to say goodbye to a friend that comforts you.
Even if they're nothing but bad to hang with.

I'm glad I said goodbye to it a month ago.

Nuudawn

For a commitment-phobic like myself, the only commitment I am comfortable with is "I"m not drinking right NOW". I can only deal with now and its arriving situations. So far...weird thing is...it's always now : )

Aislin

I am so glad I found this forum you are all so wonderfully supportive. Today WILL be day 1 and I am going to take it day by day as advised. I am only thinking about today, I have recorded some movies on telly so I am going to sit and watch one of those tonight and try and get really into it so don't think about having a drink.

Unfortunately as Alpha said, my two bottles was starting to go down too quickly and I too would sometimes then turn to the vodka. I think my worst day recently was getting through my wine, finishing off vodka and then drinking laods of baileys because that was all that was left. That was a bad night and I still cringe to think of it. I treated my husband very cruelly that night and said and did many things that I should NEVER have done. How he stuck by me I do not know. If it had been the other way around I would probably have left him!! I NEVER want that to happen again. And the terrible thing is I only remember half of what I did!

I am putting all that behind me now, today is a new day. I feel excited about becoming sober

HeadLump

A whole new life awaits you, Aislin. Now's the time to grab it!

Good luck x

GracieLou

Congrats on your decision to start. We all started with day one.

I was a fast drinker too and I find I still am even with just Coke or water. I am also a fast eater. Savor a meal? Hell Naw, I am chowing that stuff down like a pig at a trough. Even with those mad skills I have lost weight. I am down 28 pounds since I quit.

When it comes to your husband I can relate on both sides. I was married twice and they were both alcoholics. I think there is a co-dependency that happens. I put up with their drunken ways because they put up with mine. Being alone was way to scary to handle and it was also that I understood them. Not on a healthy level by any means but one can't point a finger at me when they were doing the same things. It was a safe place to be. I could drink because they drank. I could get drunk because they were drunk. I could blow of responsibilities because they did too.

Take it Easy and Take it one day at a time.

Aislin

Thanks for the reply GracieLou, yes I definitely do feel that my hubbie can not criticise me because he drinks more than me. However he seems to be able to hold his drink better than me!

Congrats on the weight loss, that is great.

I have been analysing how I feel this morning and I feel terrible! I am mildly nauseous, I am super tired, I don't know what time I went to bed but I am shattered. Brushing my teeth made me want to be sick. I have a raging thirst and I feel irritable. I feel bloated and I feel breathless. When I was smoking I put the breathlessness down to smoking but I realise that must be the alcohol?

I am trying to memorise these feelings to help me with my resolve when I decide maybe a drink wouldn't be too bad after all!

IOAA2

Aislin congratulations on being honest with yourself and the commitment to stop drinking, that’s number one in going onto the path of sobriety. I needed to retrain my mind when I got to AA and started to follow advice. I had to forget not drinking for life, it’s just for a day at a time. I went to many meetings and got active. The meetings were necessary to see people in the flesh and listen to them as to how to STAY sober.
I also feel that stopping drinking is the #1 priority in our lives. A diet at the in the beginning might be much to overcome at the same time, heck I have trouble keeping my mouth shut even after 30+ years sober. Part of the reason I said that about the diet is that for a lot of people drinking sweet drinks at 4Pm and eating sweets help a lot. At 4 our bodies probably are requiring fluid as the drinking provided and the alcohol /wine provided the sugar which it may be screaming for after we stop drinking. Good luck