newpower

you should show him the documentary on youtube "high on alcohol" or "rain in my heart"

SuzieB

Yes, his doctors all know about his alcoholism. I filled out all the paperwork for them. His hip surgeon told him that the alcohol 'could' be a big factor in the avasuclar necrosis that has happened with his hip. I will be going with him to his newest doc - the cardiologist on Monday.
I was able to get a few hours of sleep and I guess I will be giving him his birthday present when he gets up. I am going to let him stay through this very tough time.... with conditions. He will not be allowed anywhere on his own. He will sign up here. I will take him to meetings and sit in. Other conditions that I haven't thought of yet.
I am waiting to talk to him about it with my husband. After he gets through these health things, we will decide what's next. I am going to remain hopeful that he doesn't have a serious heart problem too.
Thanks for all of your input and support last night. I'll be talking to you all again soon.

dalouie

Good luck!

SuzieB

Thanks, dalouie. We will need all the luck we can get!

resolute50

I work with two people that have had hip replacement.
One wished he had it done years ago,doing much,much better.He walks normal now with no pain.The other guy is going in again to have something fixed as he had his done many years ago.He can't wait to go in for surgery as he knows how good he'll feel after.

Sounds like your son may be stressed about the surgery and his health issues.Big trigger to drink or drink more.He needs to know that with sobriety and the surgery he needs will lead to a much better life.He has come to a fork in his life.One way leads to ruin and the other way leads to a better life.

I can only offer prayers for you and your son,Suzie.

hayley86

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It seems like you are doing your very best to try and help him and that's very admirable. I think sometimes no matter how much you want and try to help a loved one who is struggling with alcoholism you sometimes just have to accept that you cant do it for them and you cant make them take the help unless they are ready to.

Hopefully if he is ready to try and get sober talking to him and being as supportive as you are will stand him in good stead to start his recovery. If not sometimes as hard as it is you have to leave people to their own devices until they reach out to you and ask for help. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they can start to get well. I know i did. Wishing you the very best. Please take care of yourself and your husband.

SuzieB

Bob and Hayley.... I do hope this is a turning point for him. I think if it isn't, then anything I do won't help. I gave birth to him, but he's a grown man now that has his own choices to make. I just hope he chooses the right path to take from here. I know I can't do it for him. As long as he tries I will support him and so will my husband. Congratulations on your sobriety and willingness to give encouragement to others. It is greatly appreciated.

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation, but I really believe that if he wants to stop drinking, he will. It won't matter whether or not you drive him to meetings or go in with him, if he isn't ready to stop drinking now, it won't help.

I hope that you continue to seek support for yourself

hayley86

Thanks Suzie. Hopefully he will make the right choice and with your wonderful support it can be a turning point for him. My loved ones were at a loss with how to help me. I was not willing to listen or change any aspect of my life. After i made the right choice and wanted to get sober and well their on going support has been of paramount importance. I have turned everything around and i am doing well. Don't lose hope and stay strong.

SuzieB

I'm not sure yet how to put thank you's on posts..... I'll figure it out In the meantime, a big THANK YOU to all of you. My son is in the process of signing up. I don't know his username yet, but will post it when I get it.

SuzieB

I have looked up the videos and we will watch today!

resolute50

That's great,Suzie.
I know for me,this site,helps keep my mind busy and off of doing negative things.

doggonecarl

Sorry for what brings you to SR. In the spirit of the Newcomers forum, I want to welcome you. That said, there is supporting your son in his recovery, and there is being embroiled in his addiction. You sound like you are riding the same crazy train that your son is on. This will not end well for you.

I echo those who say you need to take care of you. And I also suggest you visit the Friend and Family of Alcoholics forum and read how others in similar situations are dealing with the alcoholic in their lives.

pinkdog

Hello. It's great you are helping your son. The surprising thing that I have found out about alcoholics is that not having alcohol makes them (me) sick. I thought they just wanted to party and get high until I tried stopping. It is probably not safe for him to simply stop. His body is used to and needs the alcohol. I would seek advice from a doctor who knows about alcoholism first. Then the other physical problems. Suddenly stopping the drink could be too much for his heart.

SuzieB

As I wrote before, he has been sober for quite some time and just drank in the past 2 days. I have been the seizure route with him during his past drinking heavy times. He went to rehab after that. He has been doing well until this past week when everything seemed to hit at once. I am not making excuses for him at all. I know the signs with the shaking, withdrawal, etc. and I'm certain he is telling the truth. His appointment with the cardio doc is next Monday. Until then, I have his keys and even though he is 43, he is on restriction. I know stopping suddenly can be very hard on the entire body, especially the heart. Since he hasn't been drinking until the past 2 days, I'm hoping he will be OK. I will be watching him closely.

SuzieB

He has signed up as JeffP. I plan to be in the group chat with him tonight at 9pm.

rabbit430

I commend you Suzie b for being there for your son so strongly. A lot of my family gave up on me and disowned me and that doesn't help. Just let him know as long as he is willing to be active in recovery you will be there for him every step of the way. That will go a long way

SuzieB

He and I are both watching High on Alcohol and will start on the Rain in my heart next.

flutter

He's lucky to have you as a mama, Suzie. Please do make sure you take some time to take care of YOU too.

JettBoy

My partner hates when I make him my jailer,sometimes when things are bad,it's what we need. All u can do is check out alanon ,try n talk to him and get him to see that there is a better way.if he's sick and tired you can tell him he never has to feel like this again...we are all here for you if you need us..good luck!!!!