Single and lonely alcoholic
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Originally Posted by sicknote 
And you know what, its ok to be alone, there is nothing wrong with being on my own. Many people are on their own, it's no reason to pick up a bottle 
No siree!
No siree! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: London (-ish)
Posts: 263
Yo Peeps! I just thought i'd add something new to this post...
If anyone else out there stumbles upon this post, and is reading this, they maybe struggling with loneliness, isolation, depression, feeling lost or empty, and being single.
Anyway, since quitting the drink, I've released I caused my own loneliness, and single status. I've been putting booze before anything and anyone else. So I haven't connected with old friendships and family much, and haven't developed any new friendships either, haven't cultivated any passions or interests, just fleeted between stuff. I'd either be too hungover, it clashed with my drinking time, or I couldn't go out because they'd see how bad my drinking was. Anyway, long story short, for whatever reason, I've ended up lonely, mostly thanks to alcohol. Obviously, as soon as I quit, I suddenly realised how alone I was, which was raw and quite painful. No wonder really.
To some extent I enjoy my own company, I'm an introvert, but this is ridiculous.
Anways, I'm still on a journey. Still sober. Doing a bit of soul searching and stuff. Looking into ways to stop being so depressed. Hoping I'll be able to love myself a bit and someday form new friendships. I realise I'm not going to suddenly stop being lonely, but I'm still looking into things and trying to keep positive. On my journey I found these two websites:
Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In
zenhabits
I found them enriched beaming with positive energy, they seem interesting, focused, inspirational, and motivational.
So I'm sharing the love with anyone reading this. I hope you enjoy also.
Anyone feeling desperately broken as I had earlier in this post, (I'm not saying I have any answers, but seriously)... just remember... don't worry, be happy
Peace and Love,
Sicknote
If anyone else out there stumbles upon this post, and is reading this, they maybe struggling with loneliness, isolation, depression, feeling lost or empty, and being single.
Anyway, since quitting the drink, I've released I caused my own loneliness, and single status. I've been putting booze before anything and anyone else. So I haven't connected with old friendships and family much, and haven't developed any new friendships either, haven't cultivated any passions or interests, just fleeted between stuff. I'd either be too hungover, it clashed with my drinking time, or I couldn't go out because they'd see how bad my drinking was. Anyway, long story short, for whatever reason, I've ended up lonely, mostly thanks to alcohol. Obviously, as soon as I quit, I suddenly realised how alone I was, which was raw and quite painful. No wonder really.
To some extent I enjoy my own company, I'm an introvert, but this is ridiculous.
Anways, I'm still on a journey. Still sober. Doing a bit of soul searching and stuff. Looking into ways to stop being so depressed. Hoping I'll be able to love myself a bit and someday form new friendships. I realise I'm not going to suddenly stop being lonely, but I'm still looking into things and trying to keep positive. On my journey I found these two websites:
Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In
zenhabits
I found them enriched beaming with positive energy, they seem interesting, focused, inspirational, and motivational.
So I'm sharing the love with anyone reading this. I hope you enjoy also.
Anyone feeling desperately broken as I had earlier in this post, (I'm not saying I have any answers, but seriously)... just remember... don't worry, be happy
Peace and Love,
Sicknote
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 63
Thanks for this thread. I share the same concerns sicknote, in fact a lot of what you've said about your past relationships mirror my own experiences.
I chose the sobriety route because I felt like drink made me lose myself. Hope I can find her again! Fantastic advice folks, thanks for posting everyone.
I chose the sobriety route because I felt like drink made me lose myself. Hope I can find her again! Fantastic advice folks, thanks for posting everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by sicknote
Anyway, since quitting the drink, I've released I caused my own loneliness, and single status. I've been putting booze before anything and anyone else. So I haven't connected with old friendships and family much, and haven't developed any new friendships either, haven't cultivated any passions or interests, just fleeted between stuff. I'd either be too hungover, it clashed with my drinking time, or I couldn't go out because they'd see how bad my drinking was. Anyway, long story short, for whatever reason, I've ended up lonely, mostly thanks to alcohol. Obviously, as soon as I quit, I suddenly realised how alone I was, which was raw and quite painful. No wonder really.
Sicknote
Totally relate to this! But at least by dealing up to our alcohol problems, we give ourselves the chance to rectify these other issues.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Originally Posted by sicknote
Anyway, since quitting the drink, I've released I caused my own loneliness, and single status. I've been putting booze before anything and anyone else. So I haven't connected with old friendships and family much, and haven't developed any new friendships either, haven't cultivated any passions or interests, just fleeted between stuff. I'd either be too hungover, it clashed with my drinking time, or I couldn't go out because they'd see how bad my drinking was. Anyway, long story short, for whatever reason, I've ended up lonely, mostly thanks to alcohol. Obviously, as soon as I quit, I suddenly realized how alone I was, which was raw and quite painful. No wonder really.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: London (-ish)
Posts: 263
boombox and ZeldaFan. - Glad I'm not alone in this I guess our minds become clearer and healthier the longer we stay sober. I'm grateful today that I'm actually aware of what's happening, and not hiding from it, facing the facts and fixing myself up.
Oh, and I just realised, being single, although I'm lonely, I'm very grateful that I'm not in a bad relationship, or in love with someone that might cause torment, and that includes booze! Silver linings!
I guess our minds become clearer and healthier the longer we stay sober. I'm grateful today that I'm actually aware of what's happening, and not hiding from it, facing the facts and fixing myself up.Oh, and I just realised, being single, although I'm lonely, I'm very grateful that I'm not in a bad relationship, or in love with someone that might cause torment, and that includes booze! Silver linings!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 49
Hi sicknote,
The prospect of being alone almost stopped me from quitting. It was one of my bigger fears of giving up the bottle. Much like Zelda fan I loved alcohol more than my wife, now I don't have a wife.
It took time, but being single and sober is simply better. I figured I could drink and attract another mate.... And mess it all up again!!! It's far better to date a recovering alcoholic than a practicing one!
Stay sober, get to know yourself. Love yourself! With sobriety good things happen, the pieces just seem to start falling into place. Well, from my experience.
The prospect of being alone almost stopped me from quitting. It was one of my bigger fears of giving up the bottle. Much like Zelda fan I loved alcohol more than my wife, now I don't have a wife.
It took time, but being single and sober is simply better. I figured I could drink and attract another mate.... And mess it all up again!!! It's far better to date a recovering alcoholic than a practicing one!
Stay sober, get to know yourself. Love yourself! With sobriety good things happen, the pieces just seem to start falling into place. Well, from my experience.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: London (-ish)
Posts: 263
It's really cool to see this post still here. I've come along way from this, and it really reminded me big time of how mad, desperate and utterly destroyed I was, not just with booze but my whole understanding and outlook of life. My inability to cope was running me down.
103 days sober today. Things are getting better. Feelings of despair are slipping away.
I'm an alcoholic in recovery, and now that's feeling like not such a big deal, it's a reality and a program to move forward with my life, rather than a disastrous and complex decision. I've accepted the way I am, and it's freed me.
It would be nice to get into a relationship one day, but I actually love being single, the freedom and flexibility single life gives me exceeds and outweighs the need for someone externally to fix me. Loneliness is subsiding, and I feel stronger everyday. Just 103 days. I know I'm on the right path.
I found love within me, though a power greater than myself, which grows everyday.
Peace and Love to all xx
sicknote.
103 days sober today. Things are getting better. Feelings of despair are slipping away.
I'm an alcoholic in recovery, and now that's feeling like not such a big deal, it's a reality and a program to move forward with my life, rather than a disastrous and complex decision. I've accepted the way I am, and it's freed me.
It would be nice to get into a relationship one day, but I actually love being single, the freedom and flexibility single life gives me exceeds and outweighs the need for someone externally to fix me. Loneliness is subsiding, and I feel stronger everyday. Just 103 days. I know I'm on the right path.
I found love within me, though a power greater than myself, which grows everyday.
Peace and Love to all xx
sicknote.
So, your thread helped me too ! Thanks
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