Midlifecrisis

When I first got sober many years ago I did it for my kids. MY KIDS! Once kids came along all bets were off. It was no longer about ME it was ALL about them and I stayed clean and sober until they were adults and on their own.

So did I. For 13 years. Now I've stuffed up. And I'm getting back on track.

Obviously I wasn't as smart as you and wait until they are adults. That makes me a terrible person. I'm gojng to fix it.

I'm not in denial.

I'm not a victim.

I'm getting clean.

I love my family.

I stuffed up.

I don't have anyone to look after the kids for months so I can do rehab so i need to do what I can.

I am addict. So are all of you.

Thank you for all the support everyone, I appreciate it but I'm so embarrassed that it has come to this and incredibly frustrated that people think they know me better than I do.

I feel like I cannot rectify this on here. Too much water under the bridge and I feel like I am speaking some weird foreign language.

I'm out.

tomsteve

it may not be denial, but saying you have been clean the whole lives of yer kids is a lie.

no ones picking on you. what ya got is a whole lotta people here that ha d the same thing happen to them: got called on their lies because without that, we wouldn't have seen it.


can you honestly say you have been clean the whole lives of your children? if so, ya wouldn't be here.

rationalization: giving an acceptable excuse for unacceptable behavior, which is a form if insanity, which insanity is doin the same thing over and over expecting different results, or, knowing the results will be the same

if nothing changes, nothing changes.

addiction is serious business. everyone on here posting knows the consequences.everyone on here has been in their own personal hell. everyone posting doesn't want to step over another one that falls by the wayside.

tomsteve

i am a recovering addict.
"I feel like I cannot rectify this on here."

its about time ya see that sittin in front of the computer aint workin!

iwanthealth

she's out. let it go. she's needs too.

Fandy

well, only time will tell if you stay away from snorting whatever pills again, MLC. i really hope.

I hope that you are fired up enough to care this time and stop being the victim.

go back and read some of your 3,000 posts, you will see a pattern. it's right there, just read it when you are straight.

many people here have had pain and recovered, stayed sober and become advocates. their experience and support has been extended to you over and over. (SR at it's best). I really appreciate that and am grateful.

iwanthealth

fandy. stop.

Dee74

Please remember - this is a moderated site.

moderators give the orders around here - not members.

There's good reason for that.

Please desist from telling other people what to do or where not to post - it only serves to rile people up.

Dee
Moderator
SR

tomsteve

[QUOTE=Dee74;4017393]Please remember - this is a moderated site.

moderators give the orders around here - not members.

There's good reason for that.

Please desist from telling other people what to do or where not to post - it only serves to rile people up.

Dee
Moderator
SR[/QUOTE

and a heck of a good job ya'll are doin.

iwanthealth

my apologies, if that is directed at me.

i was not looking to rile anyone up.

Elisabeth888

If inpatient is not an option, maybe you can do INTENSIVE therapy with an addiction specialist. You have multiple issues going on girl, and you cannot handle them alone. It just isn't possible. You are still going to have to figure out childcare though.

But it is like this: you either figure it out now, or you may have it figured out for you later.

ImperfectlyMe

Were some post removed I'm so confused ???? MLC finish what you were saying in moms. PLEASE

upandup

One thing glaringly apparent -- or rather, missing -- are questions. "Dear wise people of SR, my situation is x, y, z, and a, b, c. What can I do about it? What have you or someone you know tried in the past? What can I do in the next hour, day, week? How can I repair my relationship with my husband? My children? How do I explain to my children I have to go away to get well for a bit? How do I reconcile with myself everything I've put my loved ones through? How do I make sure I never put myself or anyone else through this again?" Etc.

iwanthealth

i need to unsubscribe from this thread. i think MLC wishes to as well.

Leemzer

MLC, I am wondering if a lot of this has to do with the fact that even though you went to rehab you had protracted benzo withdrawals (that can last months) and you gave up because of that.

Leemzer

That maybe you could have consulted with a doctor to taper off of them instead of cold turkey and the length of time of the withdrawals made you throw in the towel on everything?

newhope01

I know that I have arrived late to a lot of what has already been posted, but I wanted to share that I'm happy that you got so frustrated by some of the comments made asking you to take a serious hard look at what may be really going on rather than what may seem on the surface.

Your feelings of frustration may stem from the fact that you really do care about getting sober and finding your way to recovery and are annoyed that someone may say to you it doesn't seem that you really are that committed. Good, get pissed and prove everyone wrong. You obviously care and want to get better. Please do as you got a lot of people in your corner rooting for you even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

peanut44

I'm going to sign off this thread because for quite some time now, I've been watching mlcs posts gets tons of responses and alot of new comers out there get only a few, including myself.

It's been bothering me for awhile and i know i can't be the only one noticing this.

I want to focus on people who are ready to do what needs to be done or who will actually use some of the ideas given to them.

I see hundreds of years of recovery wisdom being offered to a few select people and nothing is changing. It's falling on deaf ears. How about these poor folks checking in for the first time'???'

deeker

Excellent upnup! very good point.

Dee74

OK as we seem to be either repeating ourselves, getting personal and unhelpful, or going off on tangents, we'll call this one done.

thread closed.

D