Moms club 2013
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hi Moms 
I have triplets. I drank daily from the time they were about 15 months old. They turned 9 while I was in treatment. They are 15 now.
The ex vowed to have the children permanently taken from me if I did not get my sh*t together and he well could have. It was taken out of my hands and his when I was baker acted. Can't argue with the law. My complete breakdown and the subsequent involuntary placement was the best thing that could have happened. I decided in the psych ward in 2007 that I would never drink again. I meant it.
My kids tell me now they can barely remember when I drank, but they also remember being afraid on too many occasions because of my erratic behavior, the ex and I fighting, or being unable to rouse me.
I have been involved in AA in the past, but I consider myself self-recovered. AVRT rang a bell when I read about it after quitting, because the technique is based on what people do in quitting on their own.
There are no words to describe how it feels to be the mom and woman I believe myself to be, and not the falling down mess that is not to be admired nor respected. I still make many mistakes as a mom, but I am fully present and can be counted on.
I have triplets. I drank daily from the time they were about 15 months old. They turned 9 while I was in treatment. They are 15 now.
The ex vowed to have the children permanently taken from me if I did not get my sh*t together and he well could have. It was taken out of my hands and his when I was baker acted. Can't argue with the law. My complete breakdown and the subsequent involuntary placement was the best thing that could have happened. I decided in the psych ward in 2007 that I would never drink again. I meant it.
My kids tell me now they can barely remember when I drank, but they also remember being afraid on too many occasions because of my erratic behavior, the ex and I fighting, or being unable to rouse me.
I have been involved in AA in the past, but I consider myself self-recovered. AVRT rang a bell when I read about it after quitting, because the technique is based on what people do in quitting on their own.
There are no words to describe how it feels to be the mom and woman I believe myself to be, and not the falling down mess that is not to be admired nor respected. I still make many mistakes as a mom, but I am fully present and can be counted on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Can you go food shopping or to the mall something that takes up an hour.
Sometimes if I have a crave I will go to Starbucks or a coffee place get a great (coffee) drink and sir in my car and read posts.
My witching hour was 330-7pm at which times I usually passed out shortly after getting the kids to bed!
Try just try its one day that's it see if you can just make it until tomorrow.
Sometimes if I have a crave I will go to Starbucks or a coffee place get a great (coffee) drink and sir in my car and read posts.
My witching hour was 330-7pm at which times I usually passed out shortly after getting the kids to bed!
Try just try its one day that's it see if you can just make it until tomorrow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Soberlicious I LOVE LOVE LOVE your post! What an amaxing success story. my husband also gave me the wuit ir loose your kids it scared the BLEEP out of me. You are so inspirational! I can't wdit to have that long under my belt.
I can't imagine the stresses of triplets!
I don't know whst AVRT is but I am doing this in my own without AA. sR is my only support
I can't imagine the stresses of triplets!
I don't know whst AVRT is but I am doing this in my own without AA. sR is my only support
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 76
I'm on day 1. Go me!
There is a lot of information about AVRT on Google and SR that can explain it better than I can.
My AV has been telling me that as long as I drink after the kids go to bed, then no harm no foul. I'm not drinking during the day anymore, so what's the problem? In fact, it's Friday. Time to sit back with a Rum and Diet. I need to work on separating that voice from my own and distancing myself more and focus on my plan.
There is a lot of information about AVRT on Google and SR that can explain it better than I can.
My AV has been telling me that as long as I drink after the kids go to bed, then no harm no foul. I'm not drinking during the day anymore, so what's the problem? In fact, it's Friday. Time to sit back with a Rum and Diet. I need to work on separating that voice from my own and distancing myself more and focus on my plan.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
My rugrats are now 11 and 8. They don't remember mommy high/drunk, thank goodness. I was awful.
I am recovered with an eclectic mix of AVRT/AA/whatnot (CBT/DBT in the beginning). I started with a PLAN and followed it to the letter (still do).
What's nice is that I have learned a way of life and coping tools that I can now pass on to my sons.
I am recovered with an eclectic mix of AVRT/AA/whatnot (CBT/DBT in the beginning). I started with a PLAN and followed it to the letter (still do).
What's nice is that I have learned a way of life and coping tools that I can now pass on to my sons.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
That's awesome mfanch I have only been sober 39 days but look forward to saying years rather then days!
My kids are 7 and almost 4. I'm glad I'm the mom NOW that I always pretended to be.
My kids are 7 and almost 4. I'm glad I'm the mom NOW that I always pretended to be.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
I was drinking heavily for all my kids lives, though amazingly not when I was pregnant. I guess my drinking pattern turned from 'heavy' to 'alcoholic' for the last 10 years.
Although I like to think I never hurt them, I know I must have emotionally because I was distant from them. I never put their needs first. Their struggles stressed me because it meant I couldn't concentrate on my drinking which was my overwhelming obsession. I lived my life in a sort of mental fog, always drunk or at least thinking about my next drink.
They saw me drunk on many many occasions.
I spent whole days at weekends lying on the sofa recovering. I was depressed and anxious all the time.
In all the many shameful things I have done through my drinking, my absence in my kids lives is my one true regret. They deserved better.
I gave up drinking last May, so they have had a proper, sober, attentive Mum for almost a year. I cannot put into words just how amazing the transformation has been in my relationship with them.
They are now 19 and 17, and are wonderful responsible mature and loving teenagers. I can talk to them about every aspect of their lives...studies, relationships with their girlfriends, boyfriends, and every thing they come up against which causes them a problem. We have proper family times. We laugh a lot. I can hold them when they're upset and hug them when I'm proud of them.
Being sober has brought such joy into our family, and I'm never going to drink again and take us back to those dark times. Being a Mum is a privilege. It's just a shame it took me such a long time to learn that x
Although I like to think I never hurt them, I know I must have emotionally because I was distant from them. I never put their needs first. Their struggles stressed me because it meant I couldn't concentrate on my drinking which was my overwhelming obsession. I lived my life in a sort of mental fog, always drunk or at least thinking about my next drink.
They saw me drunk on many many occasions.
I spent whole days at weekends lying on the sofa recovering. I was depressed and anxious all the time.
In all the many shameful things I have done through my drinking, my absence in my kids lives is my one true regret. They deserved better.
I gave up drinking last May, so they have had a proper, sober, attentive Mum for almost a year. I cannot put into words just how amazing the transformation has been in my relationship with them.
They are now 19 and 17, and are wonderful responsible mature and loving teenagers. I can talk to them about every aspect of their lives...studies, relationships with their girlfriends, boyfriends, and every thing they come up against which causes them a problem. We have proper family times. We laugh a lot. I can hold them when they're upset and hug them when I'm proud of them.
Being sober has brought such joy into our family, and I'm never going to drink again and take us back to those dark times. Being a Mum is a privilege. It's just a shame it took me such a long time to learn that x
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 212
Reading her helps me so much. Thank you.
anewpage, I am on day number 7 sober so I don't have tje best advice. I can tell you that now that ot is nice out I have to sit outside. That is also where I would drink all Summer. I attempted to sit outside sober and I was full with anxiety. What I did was, I went to the hobby store bought a bunch of beads, wire, rope, etc...and I started making jewelry when I would sit outside. I have no idea where the idea came from. I just did it. I found that it was fun and now I am going to sign up for a jewelry making class at the craft store. Amazing what you find out about yourself with a clear mind. Maybe do something that you have always wanted to do at your worst hours. Take a walk, paint, read, anything but pick up that drink. You can do it. Even if it's for one day.
anewpage, I am on day number 7 sober so I don't have tje best advice. I can tell you that now that ot is nice out I have to sit outside. That is also where I would drink all Summer. I attempted to sit outside sober and I was full with anxiety. What I did was, I went to the hobby store bought a bunch of beads, wire, rope, etc...and I started making jewelry when I would sit outside. I have no idea where the idea came from. I just did it. I found that it was fun and now I am going to sign up for a jewelry making class at the craft store. Amazing what you find out about yourself with a clear mind. Maybe do something that you have always wanted to do at your worst hours. Take a walk, paint, read, anything but pick up that drink. You can do it. Even if it's for one day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Black bird I hear you on the nice weather drinking was my favorite summer past time. The first week or too I couldn't go outside and play with the kids it only reminded me, now I sometimes miss it but not in a way I can't say no.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
WOW Imperfectly!!!!! Great idea. I just did my tally, and I am about to pass out with the number.
I spent about $125.00 per week stopping at a restaurant for wine (Mon-Friday: two glasses plus tip=$15.00), and Sat & Sun: 3 glasses plus tip $25.00 each day.
Then at Liquor store...2 big bottles of wine for the week=$20.00 and I had gotten up to about 6 pints of brandy per week=36
That is a weekly total of $181.00
For a GRAND TOTAL for the month of $724.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy COW!!! I am in shock, no wonder why we are still renting:-(
I spent about $125.00 per week stopping at a restaurant for wine (Mon-Friday: two glasses plus tip=$15.00), and Sat & Sun: 3 glasses plus tip $25.00 each day.
Then at Liquor store...2 big bottles of wine for the week=$20.00 and I had gotten up to about 6 pints of brandy per week=36
That is a weekly total of $181.00
For a GRAND TOTAL for the month of $724.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy COW!!! I am in shock, no wonder why we are still renting:-(
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
Here is a thread on AVRT =Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
I am so glad there is a mom's thread here. I am off to actually tackle my motherly duties. My kids came down with sore throats and it warmed me to see my daughter smile when I walked in. She is very sweet.
I realize that being a mom is really hard and I need to take time to myself everyday so I don't get overwhelmed.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
I am so glad there is a mom's thread here. I am off to actually tackle my motherly duties. My kids came down with sore throats and it warmed me to see my daughter smile when I walked in. She is very sweet.
I realize that being a mom is really hard and I need to take time to myself everyday so I don't get overwhelmed.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 392
Originally Posted by Black Bird 
Reading her helps me so much. Thank you.
anewpage, I am on day number 7 sober so I don't have tje best advice. I can tell you that now that ot is nice out I have to sit outside. That is also where I would drink all Summer. I attempted to sit outside sober and I was full with anxiety. What I did was, I went to the hobby store bought a bunch of beads, wire, rope, etc...and I started making jewelry when I would sit outside. I have no idea where the idea came from. I just did it. I found that it was fun and now I am going to sign up for a jewelry making class at the craft store. Amazing what you find out about yourself with a clear mind. Maybe do something that you have always wanted to do at your worst hours. Take a walk, paint, read, anything but pick up that drink. You can do it. Even if it's for one day.
anewpage, I am on day number 7 sober so I don't have tje best advice. I can tell you that now that ot is nice out I have to sit outside. That is also where I would drink all Summer. I attempted to sit outside sober and I was full with anxiety. What I did was, I went to the hobby store bought a bunch of beads, wire, rope, etc...and I started making jewelry when I would sit outside. I have no idea where the idea came from. I just did it. I found that it was fun and now I am going to sign up for a jewelry making class at the craft store. Amazing what you find out about yourself with a clear mind. Maybe do something that you have always wanted to do at your worst hours. Take a walk, paint, read, anything but pick up that drink. You can do it. Even if it's for one day.
In other news, it's 3:14pm and I didn't drink yet today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 134
I would like to check in with other moms too. I have 4 kids- 7, 9, 17 and 19.
I would like to be more mentally "present" for them in the evenings, like so many I think I'm drinking a few to "take the edge off" but sometimes it becomes too many...
I have been on here awhile, quit for a few days but have gone back to drinking my evening beers, know I need to stop totally but not quite there yet....I love to check in and read everyones stories, it is helping me to realize that I am not alone in this struggle!
I would like to be more mentally "present" for them in the evenings, like so many I think I'm drinking a few to "take the edge off" but sometimes it becomes too many...
I have been on here awhile, quit for a few days but have gone back to drinking my evening beers, know I need to stop totally but not quite there yet....I love to check in and read everyones stories, it is helping me to realize that I am not alone in this struggle!
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