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I don't want to be an alcoholic!

Old 04-29-2013, 07:04 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Ugh y'all are great. Heck yea we would find our way off the island haha. The truth is I have been trying to quit for a couple years with little spurts of sobriety. I am an intern getting my hours for my CAC. I want to be a reentry counselor for inmates who went away a addicts. I guess I just want my cake and eat it too. But my body just can't handle it anymore. What a hypocrite!!!! I know how to stay sober but still don't want to accept it. I have a prescription for vivitrol waiting for me at walgreens. I just haven't brought myself to pick it up. Maybe I should start there. Love y'all thank u
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:20 AM
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Thanks Zen, and you look Zenful in that picture. I think I tried to find AVRT in CT but there wasn't much around. I'll look again online. AA, CBT, done it. At least in my half-butted way I did. Simple, It is UP TO ME TO CHANGE. I got to the point where I am changing. I just figured something out, or something clicked, whatever it is, it's a good thing. I have to want it, and I want something different. Visualizing myself free of this hell and doing the things I've always wanted to do is where it's at. Feeling good today. My reward today is feeling energetic, with no anxiety, and getting closer to some goals. Use your big Zen head to kick me in the rear if I don't make it to the gym today!! I signed up a month ago and relapsed like 4 times.
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:32 AM
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Johnny....since we are both chronic relapsers and did things in our "half-butt" way, lets do it all the way this time. It's only getting worse for me and this site had already helped me more than AA ever did. I need help an y'all are really helping me. Oh yea, Johnny, I'm up I am going to work, but I am full of anxiety shaking and feel like crap! Can't wait to get it this time. Love to u
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:36 AM
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don't give up girl!
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Old 04-29-2013, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by johnny555 View Post
Thanks Zen, and you look Zenful in that picture. I think I tried to find AVRT in CT but there wasn't much around. I'll look again online. AA, CBT, done it. At least in my half-butted way I did. Simple, It is UP TO ME TO CHANGE. I got to the point where I am changing. I just figured something out, or something clicked, whatever it is, it's a good thing. I have to want it, and I want something different. Visualizing myself free of this hell and doing the things I've always wanted to do is where it's at. Feeling good today. My reward today is feeling energetic, with no anxiety, and getting closer to some goals. Use your big Zen head to kick me in the rear if I don't make it to the gym today!! I signed up a month ago and relapsed like 4 times.
You know you can change. The 3P's; Practice, Patience and Persistence, are a simple guideline for healthy change. It looks you are well on your way to a better you.

Be well.
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Old 04-29-2013, 09:37 PM
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Love to you too Lele! And Zen, the practice is helping. I am sitting on serious anxiety and have more stressors than usual. But I am moving along. Noticed personality defects or disorders this week that make me cringe at myself. But, like I said in another post today, is it going to kill me to realize I acted like a fool and a jerk, both sober and drunk? No it is not going to kill me, I will not lose my place to live and nothing terrible is going to happen. It just hurts and I will have to make some adjustments. Drinking seems dreadful right now, and this may be the window I needed.

And your right Lele, this site does seem to help more than AA ever did. It's nice to have a friend, and since I think I have a few days on you, I can always gloat about that. I hesitate to agree to a commitment of any kind, but ok...let's try a pact.

Now for some 30 Rock Episodes to make me laugh and sleep.
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Old 04-29-2013, 10:02 PM
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Lol u do have a few days on me.... So gloat on! Lets do this thang!!!! Alcohol is the devil and the disease we have is REAL!!! Love ya
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