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Temptation is Hard and Unexpected

Old 04-24-2013, 09:17 PM
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Temptation is Hard and Unexpected

All,

I just wanted to share an experience I had this weekend. I was on a bike tour fund raiser and was offered a drink 6 different times. Each time was unexpected and it shot pulses of nervous energy through me each time. How powerful! "Yes!" was the first immediate scream in my head, forceful and confident. I said ."sure but will have a Gatorade first."
Next was "ill have some wine with dinner"... dinner came a wine glass placed at my plate. Many voices in my head having an emergency conference. Everyone laying out their arguments. For, against and some indifferent. I ended up not drinking anything and no one noticed. Was asked if I liked that wine. I replied" I love Cabs."

I was very close to blowing it and realized I don't have any proper controls in place.
Been sober 9 weeks now. I see I have a big secret of sobriety I am ashamed of. I feel weak of character letting alcohol push me around.

Frustrated with the process.

Myfitz
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:01 PM
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Good job on 9 weeks. That's HUGE. I get where you're coming from. I was in a similar situation. I was with a girl and we got offered drugs. I had 50 dollars in my pocket. The guy was showing me the drugs in his hand and the girl I was with looked at me like she expected me to pay him.

Something told me to make up some story about how I forgot my money at home and I had to go get it. At the time, it was the only excuse I could think of. But it kept me sober. Even though I didn't come right out and say I didn't want it, I still didn't buy it. And I have been sober since then.

It's hard at first when people are offering you drinks. All that matters is that you didn't take one. Even if you feel like the excuse you used wasn't good enough. You're still sober right?? And it can seem shameful to say, "No, I don't drink," but it's not. People should still like you even if you don't drink.

Have you been going to any other support groups besides coming on SoberRecovery? It may be a good idea for you to be around people who don't drink at least for now. Or AT LEAST with people you don't feel pressured to drink around!
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:28 PM
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Congrats on 9 weeks! Great job on staying strong!

I can relate, as I'm coming up on 12 weeks of sobriety. One thing that I've noticed when dining out with friends recently, that two out of three of them were actually inspired when I declined a drink. One friend was also not drinking and appreciated having someone else in the same boat, and the other decided to cut it out for awhile too after she heard me explain that I quit alcohol for health benefits. They still have a hard time believing that I've cut it out for good, but that's their problem. I prefer my much healthier, happier, and now leaner self.

So my take away on that is there's quite often others who have quit as well (or wanting to quit but haven't admitted it yet) and are probably admiring that you're not drinking with the rest of the group.
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:29 PM
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I'm not sure the problem is so much the secret of sobriety...I don't wear an I'M AN ALKIE t shirt either.

I think tho, if you going to live your old life, you need to make changes.

I found it very hard to live the life I used to live, because it was a drink sodden life.

Sober me needed a different life.

D
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:52 PM
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MyFitz, 9 weeks sober? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. I quickly overcame the fear of telling the world I don't drink. For me it wasn't an option and I fair okay with it. However, I not so sure I have enough proper controls in place either. Thanks for the thread.
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Old 04-25-2013, 08:43 PM
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Nef& Dee,

The folks I was with don't ever drink more than 3 or 4 drinks at a time.
Text book moderate sociable drinkers. They drink to enjoy each other's company
in a very mild way. I just wasn't prepared to make anyone feel uncomfortable or interupt/interfere with their very pleasant and innocent normal social gathering like normal folks. I just wanted so badly to be normal like them, I couldn't bare to admit I wasn't.

I do feel great today. Thanks everyone here for the support. You are my only support.

MyFitz
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