Temptation is Hard and Unexpected
All,
I just wanted to share an experience I had this weekend. I was on a bike tour fund raiser and was offered a drink 6 different times. Each time was unexpected and it shot pulses of nervous energy through me each time. How powerful! "Yes!" was the first immediate scream in my head, forceful and confident. I said ."sure but will have a Gatorade first."
Next was "ill have some wine with dinner"... dinner came a wine glass placed at my plate. Many voices in my head having an emergency conference. Everyone laying out their arguments. For, against and some indifferent. I ended up not drinking anything and no one noticed. Was asked if I liked that wine. I replied" I love Cabs."
I was very close to blowing it and realized I don't have any proper controls in place.
Been sober 9 weeks now. I see I have a big secret of sobriety I am ashamed of. I feel weak of character letting alcohol push me around.
Frustrated with the process.
Myfitz