Those who have been sober for a long time ..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 236
Those who have been sober for a long time ..
When did you kno in your mind that you will never drink again? I'm now 133 days sober and although I'm now comfortable without drinking, I still feel like one day I may drink again although not anytime soon. Was there a point where you woke up and knew that you won't have a drop of alcohol again ? If so, did you kno early in sobriety or when do you recall this ? Also, can you recall how you felt at day 133 so I can compare my feelings ? Thank you all so much.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
SoberHappyHour, 133 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. I was flat broke and knew I wouldn't have any money for 3 weeks or so, and that turned into 2 months. On 7-10-2010, in my 1st AA meeting, I made a commitment to put out an honest effort to give all of it up, and today I am 1011 days sober, 1 year 7 months no cocaine, and 10 months no cigarettes. I am chemical independent and will stay that way. 
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi SHH
I expect it's different for everyone anyway, but I can't give you a precise date...it wasn't as if I woke up one morning and knew I'd never drink again - it was more a growing awareness that a sober life was viable for me.
It took me a long time to think of myself instinctively as a non drinker. I had 20 years of drinking permeating everything I did.
Although it was far from a struggle I think it was probably not until year 2 that I felt confident in saying never again.
Needless to say, your experience may be shorter - who knows?
By 120 days I was feeling pretty good tho...I remember I'd started to focus a little more on building a happy life rather than not drinking by then
D
I expect it's different for everyone anyway, but I can't give you a precise date...it wasn't as if I woke up one morning and knew I'd never drink again - it was more a growing awareness that a sober life was viable for me.
It took me a long time to think of myself instinctively as a non drinker. I had 20 years of drinking permeating everything I did.
Although it was far from a struggle I think it was probably not until year 2 that I felt confident in saying never again.
Needless to say, your experience may be shorter - who knows?
By 120 days I was feeling pretty good tho...I remember I'd started to focus a little more on building a happy life rather than not drinking by then
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: southern Oregon
Posts: 365
Those are some great questions, I'm gonna follow this thread cause I'd like to know also.
(I'm only at day 29 or so, and I'm still kind of in limbo. I can't even fathom forever, but I know I never want to drink again.)
This will be interesting to find out other's experiences. Thanks for posting!
(I'm only at day 29 or so, and I'm still kind of in limbo. I can't even fathom forever, but I know I never want to drink again.)
This will be interesting to find out other's experiences. Thanks for posting!
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Hi SoberHH
I can recall when I knew that I'd never drink again: it was when my sheer despondency and desperation ("Never again?") caught up with my arrogance ("I can still drink"). War of opposites.
My solution was to embrace humility by accepting my limitations: "Alcohol is off limits to me", and truly meaning it. This was an eye opening moment for a smarta$$, cheeky and quite arrogant perfectionist such as myself. I didn't have to be perfect anymore, and it was a relief. I accepted my limitations... and haven't looked back. It clicked. I just can't drink, and that's fine by me! Huge relief!
Take care of yourself I hope this helps in a small way!
M- I don't know where I was at by month 4, but I can truly relate to what you're feeling now. Have faith in that the change you so desire will happen.
I can recall when I knew that I'd never drink again: it was when my sheer despondency and desperation ("Never again?") caught up with my arrogance ("I can still drink"). War of opposites.
My solution was to embrace humility by accepting my limitations: "Alcohol is off limits to me", and truly meaning it. This was an eye opening moment for a smarta$$, cheeky and quite arrogant perfectionist such as myself. I didn't have to be perfect anymore, and it was a relief. I accepted my limitations... and haven't looked back. It clicked. I just can't drink, and that's fine by me! Huge relief!
Take care of yourself
I hope this helps in a small way!M- I don't know where I was at by month 4, but I can truly relate to what you're feeling now. Have faith in that the change you so desire will happen.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi SHH
I expect it's different for everyone anyway, but I can't give you a precise date...it wasn't as if I woke up one morning and knew I'd never drink again - it was more a growing awareness that a sober life was viable for me.
It took me a long time to think of myself instinctively as a non drinker. I had 20 years of drinking permeating everything I did.
Although it was far from a struggle I think it was probably not until year 2 that I felt confident in saying never again.
Needless to say, your experience may be shorter - who knows?
By 120 days I was feeling pretty good tho...I remember I'd started to focus a little more on building a happy life rather than not drinking by then
D
I expect it's different for everyone anyway, but I can't give you a precise date...it wasn't as if I woke up one morning and knew I'd never drink again - it was more a growing awareness that a sober life was viable for me.
It took me a long time to think of myself instinctively as a non drinker. I had 20 years of drinking permeating everything I did.
Although it was far from a struggle I think it was probably not until year 2 that I felt confident in saying never again.
Needless to say, your experience may be shorter - who knows?
By 120 days I was feeling pretty good tho...I remember I'd started to focus a little more on building a happy life rather than not drinking by then
D
Great answer, Dee
Thank you. That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
On 3rd sept 2011 i was willing to do anything to never drink again .
I felt a profound sence of relief and joy when i realized i need never drink again that morning .
Sometimes my brain trys to convince me it wasn't that bad , i only need to read the experience of my fellows here to know how the scenario of going back to drinking , plays out .
I don't think i'll ever drink again , as i can't envisage when and under which curcumstances it would seem like a good idea .
Day 596 ..
Bestwishes, M
I felt a profound sence of relief and joy when i realized i need never drink again that morning .
Sometimes my brain trys to convince me it wasn't that bad , i only need to read the experience of my fellows here to know how the scenario of going back to drinking , plays out .
I don't think i'll ever drink again , as i can't envisage when and under which curcumstances it would seem like a good idea .
Day 596 ..
Bestwishes, M
Last edited by mecanix; 04-21-2013 at 01:08 AM. Reason: brain wonky , got date wrong
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,846
I seem to recall that at 90 days I started to feel a little more comfortable in my sobriety. That feeling got stronger at 6 months and then by one year I knew that I could get through any part of the year without drinking. I'm now closing in on 4 years sober and there's no way I'd ever go back to the hell I was existing in before.
Keep it up, it truly does get better
Keep it up, it truly does get better
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
As long as I continue to live and incorporate
a program of recovery that I have learned
over the past 22 yrs., I feel that today I can
stay sober a day at a time.
However, there is no guarantee what may
happen in the future. So, instead of focusing
or fretting on what may happen down the road
that I have no control over, I stay in today
and live it to the best of my ability.
Because I had tried countless times to stop
drinking on my own and failed countless times
before, when I entered recovery, I set aside
all notions that I could never drink successfully
again. Once I came to terms with that fact,
living a sober life with a recovery program
incoperated in my life became much easier.
If I think one day I can drink again successfully,
then I will. But there will be a price to pay that
will not be good. And on that note, I think i'll
stay right where Im at. Happy...Joyous....Free.
a program of recovery that I have learned
over the past 22 yrs., I feel that today I can
stay sober a day at a time.
However, there is no guarantee what may
happen in the future. So, instead of focusing
or fretting on what may happen down the road
that I have no control over, I stay in today
and live it to the best of my ability.
Because I had tried countless times to stop
drinking on my own and failed countless times
before, when I entered recovery, I set aside
all notions that I could never drink successfully
again. Once I came to terms with that fact,
living a sober life with a recovery program
incoperated in my life became much easier.
If I think one day I can drink again successfully,
then I will. But there will be a price to pay that
will not be good. And on that note, I think i'll
stay right where Im at. Happy...Joyous....Free.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
As more days went on, I became stronger and did not want to undo the time I had put together.
I felt stronger, what other people thought did not bother me and events where other people would be drinking did not bother me either.
Recently I have been amazed at how much more mentally focused I am and how much sharper I am.
I recently attended a medical conference with work and the booze was flowing.
My colleagues drank a lot.
We were all trying to do a project on our laptops and one guy could not concentrate because he had a heavy night the night before.
He was sweating, getting angry with his laptop and shoving it away.
He kept saying he just needed to get home and have a beer to get rid of his hangover.
I used to be like that all the time!
I seem to remember at day 100, I had some sort of crisis - I cannot even imagine what it was about now, so nothing massively was wrong.
I wanted to drink. I came on here and posted.
But part of me wondered if I had blown this up in my mind to be bigger than it was to justify my drinking.
I don't seem to do that anymore.
Life has a lot fewer drama's and the troubles that I am faced with I deal with rather than drinking away.
I don't really miss drinking.
Drinking scares me now and I know the best way to avoid the trouble that drinking brings is to not have that first drink.
I think I don't romanticise drinking because I visit here everyday and read and post about the horrific effect alcohol has on some peoples lives.
I hope you continue with how well you are doing.
My best to you
xx
I felt stronger, what other people thought did not bother me and events where other people would be drinking did not bother me either.
Recently I have been amazed at how much more mentally focused I am and how much sharper I am.
I recently attended a medical conference with work and the booze was flowing.
My colleagues drank a lot.
We were all trying to do a project on our laptops and one guy could not concentrate because he had a heavy night the night before.
He was sweating, getting angry with his laptop and shoving it away.
He kept saying he just needed to get home and have a beer to get rid of his hangover.
I used to be like that all the time!
I seem to remember at day 100, I had some sort of crisis - I cannot even imagine what it was about now, so nothing massively was wrong.
I wanted to drink. I came on here and posted.
But part of me wondered if I had blown this up in my mind to be bigger than it was to justify my drinking.
I don't seem to do that anymore.
Life has a lot fewer drama's and the troubles that I am faced with I deal with rather than drinking away.
I don't really miss drinking.
Drinking scares me now and I know the best way to avoid the trouble that drinking brings is to not have that first drink.
I think I don't romanticise drinking because I visit here everyday and read and post about the horrific effect alcohol has on some peoples lives.
I hope you continue with how well you are doing.
My best to you
xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
For me it was shortly after the one year mark. The detailed reason for that is written in the one blog I posted here.
I'm one of the people who believe this is a daily reprieve I have from alcohol, but the events in that blog led me to know that alcohol would never be a solution again. It was when I knew I didn't want to drink for the rest of my life.
I'm one of the people who believe this is a daily reprieve I have from alcohol, but the events in that blog led me to know that alcohol would never be a solution again. It was when I knew I didn't want to drink for the rest of my life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I drank for about 3 years and caused lots of problems with my husband and children. When I made it to 3 weeks sober, I was amazed that I had made it that far and I knew that I could never drink again. At the 5-month point, I was still struggling with forgiving myself and getting past the guilt, but I was slowly learning good ways to deal with life.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,041
I had been to treatment twice, for two weeks each. I don't really remember thinking that "this is it" either time...fast forward two more hellish years of drinking. I had been arrested, I was homeless, I had been in an institution, I lost my Son, my Husband and family and I had done things that I said I would never do...I was so tired...TIRED. I figured that I would have drank myself to death or someone would have killed me by then...I had hoped it anyway.
I was so tired, that I went to the health department and asked to go to a place where they would keep me the longest time and was sent to a 90 day inpatient facility. I was there about two months when I had this overwhelming feeling of peace, I knew then that everything would be ok. I know it sounds bizarre, but it was as if the desire had been taken from me and I have not really had a craving since, that will be 19 years this week. Keep in mind, I still work on my recovery every day. Just because the desire seems to have been lifted, I am aware that each day is a gift and requires gratitude, awareness and work.
Cathy
I was so tired, that I went to the health department and asked to go to a place where they would keep me the longest time and was sent to a 90 day inpatient facility. I was there about two months when I had this overwhelming feeling of peace, I knew then that everything would be ok. I know it sounds bizarre, but it was as if the desire had been taken from me and I have not really had a craving since, that will be 19 years this week. Keep in mind, I still work on my recovery every day. Just because the desire seems to have been lifted, I am aware that each day is a gift and requires gratitude, awareness and work.
Cathy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Congratulations and don’t let the ever present demons suggest that it’ll be ok this time. That’s part of what kept a hold of me for the first couple years. Then I felt that sick and tired feeling and luckily heard someone say “you don’t have to get sober AGAIN if you don’t pick up the FIRST DRINK. Simple and profound to me. I immersed myself in AA by getting very involved by doing things I didn’t really want to do like washing all the ash trays at meetings, making coffee for years, speaking and chairing many meetings and 12 step calls. This period showed me that thinking about NOT drinking was so important one day at a time. All those meetings were times to hear nuggets about living and not drinking. I also accept the fact that after more than 30 years I could drink later today or tomorrow unless I follow the DIRECTIONS that were given me over the years. I’m grateful that the desire was removed within 60 days probably because I started to get honest with myself. BE WELL.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Great question SHH. I am on day 134 today and I know I have not reached that point yet.
There are times when never drinking again sounds great and does not bother me at all.
Then other times recently the thoughts creep in that someday I may drink again. The thought of never tasting a beer again gets overwhelming.
Those days are when a one day at a time mind set is very helpful to me. Life in general has been very stressful for me lately. And not for any specific reason its just being busy 24/7. The other day I started romancing the idea of a cold one after that long day at work but I just accepted it as 'beast talk' and kept on.
Anyway the change is strange. Sometimes I feel like I have been sober for forever and some days I feel like I have barely started.
I have trust that a sober way of life is the best possible option for myself and my family so I continue. It is not always easy.
There are times when never drinking again sounds great and does not bother me at all.
Then other times recently the thoughts creep in that someday I may drink again. The thought of never tasting a beer again gets overwhelming.
Those days are when a one day at a time mind set is very helpful to me. Life in general has been very stressful for me lately. And not for any specific reason its just being busy 24/7. The other day I started romancing the idea of a cold one after that long day at work but I just accepted it as 'beast talk' and kept on.
Anyway the change is strange. Sometimes I feel like I have been sober for forever and some days I feel like I have barely started.
I have trust that a sober way of life is the best possible option for myself and my family so I continue. It is not always easy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I forgot to add that there were days I wanted to drink of course.
I used to say to myself 'if everything is still this bad tomorrow, then I will have a drink then'.
By the time tomorrow came nothing was ever that bad!
I used to say to myself 'if everything is still this bad tomorrow, then I will have a drink then'.
By the time tomorrow came nothing was ever that bad!
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