NotSoIvory

Day 3. I went to that women's meeting, but I didn't speak up like I intended to. I couldn't speak. I kept getting all teary and choking on holding back my tears. Even that was kind of embarassing. I know I need to speak up and work the program, so I'm a little disappointed in myself. I really do think that this will be a good meeting in which to find a sponsor... I really don't want to sit there and start crying in front of everyone. The topic was about taking action too... Ugh. Well, at least I went and got my newcomers chip.

Garden Girl

I think you are amazing for going to the meeting and getting to day three. I get really nervous in groups and my mind goes blank. I think drinking leaves us shaken, and it takes a minute for us to get grounded... I think you are doing fantastic

Coldfusion

You are really pretty brave to go to a meeting on day three!

Keep going back, it works!

Deluxe

Hey relax. Stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing incredibly well! You got to a meeting. You'll start to work the program when it feels right. You are not the first person to blubber a bit at a meeting by the way. People have been doing it for decades.

LSC1

Hey NoSoIvory

Fantastic effort just getting to a meeting ....

You are a lot braver then me ...

Take Care

Mountainmanbob

Louise82

NotSoIvory, congrats on 3 days and well done for getting to the meeting! You're so brave to go up and get your newcomers chip. I'm 17 days back and I still haven't gone up to get up my 24 hour chip. But you've inspired me and hopefully I'll go up to get it this Saturday.

Don't beat yourself up for not sharing during the meeting. If you think asking someone one-to-one for help would be less daunting, get to your next meeting a few minutes early and talk to someone, or wait until after the meeting and approach someone. Whoever you speak to, I'm sure she'll be happy that you singled her out for help and will be happy to tell you more about sponsorship and everything else you want to talk about.

Done_With_It

So I'm right over 7 years, and I felt the same way you did. I still do every meeint I go to.
I think @ this point, I go cuz I know what I need......... Eventually, U will let urself cry or u will find a meeting better for you. But don't give up.. Personally I only opened up when I was ready........

Bubovski

Don't be disappointed, I am back after many years to A.A.meetings and there is a lot of emotion flowing about. I get palpitations before sharing, but it soon eases right off. Better to be genuinely emotive than too clinical IMO.

HitRockBottom70

It took me 10 months to work up the nerve to go to a meeting. I wish I had sooner. You are way ahead of the game

LadyinBC

I think it is great that you went! I didnt talk at all when I first started going. You don't have to talk if you don't want to.

coraltint

There's an old-timer at one of the meetings I attend who tells the story of when he was 12-stepped by an old timer 50 yrs ago. The guy told him to sit there & shut up for a whole year. The first time I heard that story, I thought, "what a jerk!" Recently though, about the 15th time I've heard this guy tell the story.....it hit me that at least that took all of the pressure off of the newcomer. Silver lining of the old hardcore days I guess.

Great job on 3 days, going to meetings & having the desire to stay stopped! Don't wait a year to share.....

Quinne

Good on you for getting to the meeting; it's action in and of itself and takes a lot of courage! When you feel It's time to share, then do just that

Xx

Nonsensical

Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither will a sober foundation for living. Congrats on three awesome days. Keep it going!

guiltyparty

Everyone can cry. They're simply remembering the gut-wrenching environment and choices that got them there in the first place...

You're not forced to say anything. At all. Sometimes all anyone needs is a hug, and it is left at that.

tomsteve

good on ya ivory!!! im reading a good quality you have: you say you" kept getting all teary and choking on holding back my tears." that tells me you have a heart and are hurtin, prolly because where you have ended up. if ya didnt give a crap and werent sorry, ya wouldnt have done that. dont feel bad about it. there i was, 36 years old at my first meeting and all i could say was ," im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more." then i broke down cryin. didnt have to say anything else. those people knew what was goin on.
i cried quite often at meetings for a while, but me and my life got better!! it took footwork, but all worth it. i was actually able to start smiling and laughing, smiling at who i saw in the mirror!! i liked him!

tomsteve

ironic. i typed my response before reading your reply. seems my reply is sayin i agree with ya!

shauninspain

Well done for going on day 3. That´s fantastic. I didn´t speak for weeks! I just sat there and took everything in. Like you I really had to fight back the tears when someone would say somthing relevant, which was most of the time. After a while I began to share, but there would be times when I just wouldn´t feel like it, or have the emotional energy. Don´t be hard on yourself, you did amazingly amazing!

visch1

Welcome and congratulations for the beginning your adventure. A good suggestion when I first came to AA was you never have to feel this way again if you don’t pick up the first drink AND KEEP COMING. At discussion meetings as it went around the table it was suggested to NOT think about what I was going to say, just listen and if my thoughts were ready to express them let them out. I Listened to the old timers and found them usually correct because they lived through the same things. BE WELL

trachemys

I've sat at home, alone and drunk, crying. Good for you to be out doing something constructive when it happened.