HopeSho

I just found out that a friend of mine that I used to get hammered with is coming to town for just this weekend. She doesn't know that I'm sober now and I'm sure she will expect us to go out and party. I know that I can't, I'm just afraid of slipping. She is staying with us from Friday until Monday morning...

Gosh. I really wish she wasn't coming. This is going to be so difficult. I'm going to have some work to do.

ACT10Npack

Just give her a heads up that you stop drinking but still want to get together. See what goes from there. She may have stop partying hard.

BuddinK

Last year I had a friend come and visit me, as soon as I saw him he told me that he had been sober for 5 years, there wasn't any problem.

I would tell your friend right away that you are no longer drinking. I'm sure there are things you can do that don't involve alcohol.

Stay Strong
Ken

Hanna

You don't have a say in the matter?

I'd tell her it's not a good time for a visit.

Anna

I agree with Hanna.

Did she invite herself? Tell her you'd prefer the visit was another time. You need to focus on your recovery right now.

HopeSho

Yes, she did invite herself basically. It is supposed to be a surprise visit to me, but my husband gave me a heads up to help me prepare for it.

I know she still drinks, I just saw her a few months ago and she was drinking a lot. Not as much as her hubby, but a lot. I wasn't at the time because I just had the little one.

It is going to be really hard, but I can do it. I will tell my husband to mention my sobriety to her when he talks to her about the "surprise" visit.

wiscsober

Best to you. You sought guidance here. I appreciate your post.

Her drinking, possible expectations, or any other behavior are her responsibilities not yours.

Doesn't have to be an issue since you are in recovery. Your sobriety isn't dependent on what she decides.

Set up boundaries. Go with your gut. You don't have to do this alone, rely on family, recovering people, even a meeting.

HopeSho

Thanks! I have been thinking about how good I feel mentally and physically sober, why would I even think about ruining that? I guess I'm so early into recovery I'm afraid of the AV winning this weekend. I just want to prepare ahead of time and play out the scenarios so it will be easier. I'm really grateful to my husband for letting me know about the surprise so I'm not caught off guard at this fragile time.

Dee74

I agree with those who said if you're not ready, put it off.

D