self-harmer
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Saskia 
I am a former self harmer and I can relate very much to what you are going through. I didn't deal with my self harming effectively at the time though and ended up having issues with alcohol. I feel like the recovery process is very similar though so I am sure you will learn a lot here and find lots of support. I believe there are forums dedicated specifically to self harming too. Glad you are here x
I am a former self harmer and I can relate very much to what you are going through. I didn't deal with my self harming effectively at the time though and ended up having issues with alcohol. I feel like the recovery process is very similar though so I am sure you will learn a lot here and find lots of support. I believe there are forums dedicated specifically to self harming too. Glad you are here x
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Saskia,
you can get out of this mess. I self injured for over 40 yrs and I am over a year clean on it (I do still skin pick somewhat, but nothing intentional when I am stressed I still do this unconsciously)
It IS an addiction, and addressing it now will help you avoid acting out on other addictive tendencies, because they do tend to be related.
There are online support groups for this, and 12 step programs. If you get involved in an online community be careful because unfortunately there are sites where cutters get together and encourage each other in bad behavior and commiserate with why we "have to" cut rather than working on recovery, so find a healthy community that is solution/recovery focused!
This is not only a teen girl issue, and not something we automatically outgrow so I am so happy that you are getting help. I am SO happy that your parents responded in a supportive way, I did not have that, and it can make a huge difference.
hugs.
you can get out of this mess. I self injured for over 40 yrs and I am over a year clean on it (I do still skin pick somewhat, but nothing intentional when I am stressed I still do this unconsciously)
It IS an addiction, and addressing it now will help you avoid acting out on other addictive tendencies, because they do tend to be related.
There are online support groups for this, and 12 step programs. If you get involved in an online community be careful because unfortunately there are sites where cutters get together and encourage each other in bad behavior and commiserate with why we "have to" cut rather than working on recovery, so find a healthy community that is solution/recovery focused!
This is not only a teen girl issue, and not something we automatically outgrow so I am so happy that you are getting help. I am SO happy that your parents responded in a supportive way, I did not have that, and it can make a huge difference.
hugs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hi Saskia,
Seeing a professional who can help you deal with this issue will be a life saver. It is good to hear that your parents now know. I hope that you will reach out for all the support that you can. Please keep posting, and let us know how you are doing. (((HUGS))) to you Saskia!
Seeing a professional who can help you deal with this issue will be a life saver. It is good to hear that your parents now know. I hope that you will reach out for all the support that you can. Please keep posting, and let us know how you are doing. (((HUGS))) to you Saskia!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
I'll be really honest here. When I was a self-harmer, I found my parents to be of very little help. They really had no understanding of what I was going through. Their intentions were they best and they certainly loved me and tried to get help and to get me help, but in the end, it was something I really had to learn to cope with mostly on my own.
The therapists and doctors were mostly not helpful either. I did have one counselor that worked for my school who was wonderful and said many things that even if they didn't help at the time, they stuck and have helped me later. They put me on zoloft and that actually made it worse.
There are many wonderful therapists, doctors, counselors etc. so I wouldn't discourage you from seeking help. As I said, I did find one that was really great. Just be aware that not everybody there who is there to 'help' will necessarily understand.
It's great if you can find good professional help, but it's not the only way and some professional help isn't always good.
There are all sorts of ways to deal with this. I think the biggest thing that actually got me to quit was martial arts. And looking back at the time I spent hurting myself, I wished that I'd used it more productively... I could have been sketching or writing poetry or learning to play drums or doing something else that made me feel good while actually having benefits as well.
Exercise is a good alternative... pushups are doable pretty much anywhere.
There are probably things/feelings that you're trying to deal with that contribute to it. Try to pinpoint those and write them down. If you feel bad, post on here instead and people can help find solutions or even just send some support and that can be enough to make you not want to.
What are the things that you enjoy? Ice cream, hikes, music, friends, riding your bike, etc. Make a list and pick one of those activities instead.
At the beginning, take it one moment, one day at a time. If you have a friend or somebody you trust, make them a promise that you won't do it, just for today. And then the next day, do the same thing. If there isn't anybody you know, come and post here and promise us you won't do it for the day. Then you have a little accountability.
One thing I came to realize that made me finally quit was that I always wanted more... and more and more. And I realized that I would have to keep doing it and it would never be enough. I realized that it never actually satisfied me and I was scared of how far I'd have to go for it to be enough.
Read as much as you can online (this site is a great place to start) about addiction and recovering from it. Tons of great information about things to help you quit.
Be willing to try anything and find what works for you.
The therapists and doctors were mostly not helpful either. I did have one counselor that worked for my school who was wonderful and said many things that even if they didn't help at the time, they stuck and have helped me later. They put me on zoloft and that actually made it worse.
There are many wonderful therapists, doctors, counselors etc. so I wouldn't discourage you from seeking help. As I said, I did find one that was really great. Just be aware that not everybody there who is there to 'help' will necessarily understand.
It's great if you can find good professional help, but it's not the only way and some professional help isn't always good.
There are all sorts of ways to deal with this. I think the biggest thing that actually got me to quit was martial arts. And looking back at the time I spent hurting myself, I wished that I'd used it more productively... I could have been sketching or writing poetry or learning to play drums or doing something else that made me feel good while actually having benefits as well.
Exercise is a good alternative... pushups are doable pretty much anywhere.
There are probably things/feelings that you're trying to deal with that contribute to it. Try to pinpoint those and write them down. If you feel bad, post on here instead and people can help find solutions or even just send some support and that can be enough to make you not want to.
What are the things that you enjoy? Ice cream, hikes, music, friends, riding your bike, etc. Make a list and pick one of those activities instead.
At the beginning, take it one moment, one day at a time. If you have a friend or somebody you trust, make them a promise that you won't do it, just for today. And then the next day, do the same thing. If there isn't anybody you know, come and post here and promise us you won't do it for the day. Then you have a little accountability.
One thing I came to realize that made me finally quit was that I always wanted more... and more and more. And I realized that I would have to keep doing it and it would never be enough. I realized that it never actually satisfied me and I was scared of how far I'd have to go for it to be enough.
Read as much as you can online (this site is a great place to start) about addiction and recovering from it. Tons of great information about things to help you quit.
Be willing to try anything and find what works for you.
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