self-harmer
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: England
Posts: 357
Originally Posted by saskia949 
i cant go to a school-doctor because they would have to tell my parents...
I don't know what charities there are in Denmark, we have several in the uk that offer support to teenagers. Would the school doctor be able to suggest any, so you can talk to someone in confidence?
I don't know your situation but I know I spent my teenage years trying to hide my problem, when I should have been open with those who loved me, and asked for help.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: London, UK
Posts: 148
Hi Saskia, I am very sorry to hear you are suffering from this. I have something called BDD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which in my case involves compulsive skin picking, to the extent I make myself bleed (it gets worse from drinking). It is of course not exactly the same as self-harm but I have seen some improvement from CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I would suggest that you see your GP (general doctor) who could refer you to a specialist, with whom you can discuss underlying issues or problems. If you would like to talk more about this I am here. Sending you a big hug. There is help for this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: London, UK
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by LadyinBC
Please ask for help Saskia. Tell your parents. Gods knows if my daughter was doing that I would want to know. You can't go on like this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
you can get by this thing if you are honest with honest and everyone around you.
It may seem difficult to tell your parents but they will be your biggest support.
once you surrender and let go of all the fear around it you will be free.
LET PEOPLE HELP YOU.
It may seem difficult to tell your parents but they will be your biggest support.
once you surrender and let go of all the fear around it you will be free.
LET PEOPLE HELP YOU.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Self-harm is an addiction just like drinking or doing drugs.
When you hurt yourself it releases a huge amount of chemicals in your brain- adrenaline, etc. and this provides a 'high'. Like other drugs, the 'high' fades quickly just leaving you wanting more and more. Also like other drugs, it has other downsides.
Since addictions are all very similar in some ways, the ways to combat them are also similar, so if you read advice somebody gives about quitting drinking, look to see how that could be applied to you. Then all of the info on the forum has the potential to be helpful.
For example, we quit drinking by promising to just not drink for the next 24 hours. The way to quit hurting yourself is to just promise yourself that you won't do it for the next day.
Try to deal with this now.
I went from being a self-harmer to being a drinker/smoker/drug addict because the other stuff seemed more socially acceptable. I wish I would have just dealt with learning to live without any addictions... but it's never too late and that is why I'm here.
Best of luck. Feel free to PM me if you want. I put in my years hurting myself, but haven't self-injured in several years now, and I really can say that you'll like life better once you take the time to quit doing it. Eventually the desire to do it fades and it's a lot easier to be happy when you're not thinking about hurting yourself.
When you hurt yourself it releases a huge amount of chemicals in your brain- adrenaline, etc. and this provides a 'high'. Like other drugs, the 'high' fades quickly just leaving you wanting more and more. Also like other drugs, it has other downsides.
Since addictions are all very similar in some ways, the ways to combat them are also similar, so if you read advice somebody gives about quitting drinking, look to see how that could be applied to you. Then all of the info on the forum has the potential to be helpful.
For example, we quit drinking by promising to just not drink for the next 24 hours. The way to quit hurting yourself is to just promise yourself that you won't do it for the next day.
Try to deal with this now.
I went from being a self-harmer to being a drinker/smoker/drug addict because the other stuff seemed more socially acceptable. I wish I would have just dealt with learning to live without any addictions... but it's never too late and that is why I'm here.
Best of luck. Feel free to PM me if you want. I put in my years hurting myself, but haven't self-injured in several years now, and I really can say that you'll like life better once you take the time to quit doing it. Eventually the desire to do it fades and it's a lot easier to be happy when you're not thinking about hurting yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 59
Sorry you're feeling bad. 
I agree with the others that you need to talk to someone about the feelings you have that you're trying to hide by self-harming. Have you seen this link? - DepNet | et forum om depression med artikler, chat, debat og brevkasse
Instead of cutting and scratching have you tried holding an ice cube or pinging an elastic band on your wrist? Please try and find someone you can speak to before you do something permanent you'll regret later.
I agree with the others that you need to talk to someone about the feelings you have that you're trying to hide by self-harming. Have you seen this link? - DepNet | et forum om depression med artikler, chat, debat og brevkasse
Instead of cutting and scratching have you tried holding an ice cube or pinging an elastic band on your wrist? Please try and find someone you can speak to before you do something permanent you'll regret later.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: denmark
Posts: 10
i tried an elastic band but that didn't help... i have a thin hair band with a metal thingy... it helps but i don't call that quitting since it leave red marks. and it swells and i have seen it bleeding under my skin. i was shaking alot today. and i feelt really uncomfortable not cutting but i didnt. and i'm proud of myself
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Have you told your family doctor about your situation?
You are in a situation that will likely get worse and not better.
This is the time to address your problem no matter what it takes, no matter who knows.
If you keep this inside it will eat you up. Are you into drugs/alcohol?
All the best.
Bob R
You are in a situation that will likely get worse and not better.
This is the time to address your problem no matter what it takes, no matter who knows.
If you keep this inside it will eat you up. Are you into drugs/alcohol?
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: CT
Posts: 38
I don't know your situation, but i found out last week that my daughter self harms. After the shock wore off, i proceeded to make sure we are getting her the best help possible. I did as much research possible. My love for her does not change. I am not disappointed in her, i know she has feelings and stress that she does not know how to deal with and it requires more than i can give, but i'm trying to be supportive through the process and keep things less stressfull and communication more open. I'm sure i'm not doing everything right and it will be a learning experience for us both. But the point is, that everyone she has opened up to about this has expressed love, concern, and support.
I would truely encourage you to open up to someone, anyone who you can trust, just to get the ball rolling. Even if you can have a friend help you communicate. Once you open up the secret it's so much easier to go from there. Hugs!
I would truely encourage you to open up to someone, anyone who you can trust, just to get the ball rolling. Even if you can have a friend help you communicate. Once you open up the secret it's so much easier to go from there. Hugs!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I also hope that you talk to your parents, your dr and hopefully a counsellor. The fact you want to stop this and begin to heal is very important. Take the action you need and talk to your family.
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