FreedomWon

I'm new to this site and grateful to be here.

I drank, hard and fast. And now I don't.

God, AA meetings, The Big Book, the 12 steps, on line tapes, being of service and prayer are all things I do hard and fast now. The all or nothing part of my brain serves me well in this respect. I know a lot of other drunks and addicts who have the same talent and it's saved their lives.

Today I listened to an AA speaker who made the mistake of discounting the newly recovering by saying, "A person in their first year of recovery really doesn't know anything yet."

I did enjoy the rest of what he had to say, however. He is entitled to his perspective. And as a newcomer, so am I.

When I have 10 years sober, I do not want to forget where I came from. I pray to God to respect the fact that the newcomer may actually have something to add to a meeting, to my life and others in the room. It may just be, If for no other reason, to help me remember why I'm here, and how I got here. And if that's the case, isn't that newcomer a blessing?

I love the grass roots of AA. I wish there were more groups like the Akron Group. In the Big Book, people were sharing the message right after getting the message! They didn't wait for a prescribed time to pass, they were out there doing the work! They were bringing drunks into the rooms; they were even regularly going into their homes and hospital beds!

When I go to meetings, and I love them, don't get me wrong, people in the room who share usually look directly at me during their share. Before you think I have an ego about this, read on and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about...

While others in the room are looking at the ceiling, around the room, yawning, or whispering to one another, I give the person who's speaking the respect of my undivided attention. I let them know that I'm hearing every word they say by nodding my head when they say something that resonates with me. I call this participation. And I want the same for everyone of us.

My life depends on my participation on every level and when I share, I can only hope that someone in that room has enough kindness and compassion to encourage me to share deeply by showing me the same level of love and respect.

This message is not intended to offend. It is my opinion and I hope someone reading this may find they share the same thoughts...

Thank you for reading this.

With Grace,
FreedomWon

Coldfusion

Welcome!

In my opinion, a lot of what goes on in AA is meant to provoke thought. Apparently what this person said worked well for you in that respect!

I hope to hear more from you here!

Dee74

Welcome freedomwon

People can believe what they like - it's really no skin off my nose

I've been privileged to meet and to know probably thousands of newcomers here.

Personally, I've learnt a lot - it's been an incredibly rewarding experience

D

FreedomWon

Thanks Coldfusion,

You're right. He was provoking alright! lol

HappyDestiny3

Welcome Home..

I am one of blessed ones that lives here in Cleveland... And actually lived in Akron, things come full circle.. I lived in between Dr. Bobs house and his grave.. And my neighbor was Rev. Tunks house..

Love your enthusiasm for the program, and if you get a chance come on out for Founders Day this year..

HappyDestiny3

But I will add , just worry about you.. Not anyone else in the room right now..

Do you have a sponsor ?

Do you have a home group ?

What step are you on ?

Lots and lots to learn in the program... And it doesn't happen over night.. I know myself and many others wanted 2 months of AA sobriety in 2 days, and in 2 months I wanted 2 years...

Focus on today and only today.. If you got one leg in yesterday, and the other in tomorrow ~ your pissing all over today...

FreedomWon

I am focused on today. And I hear you loud and clear!Thank you so much for your posts!

instant

Great post. Your enthusiasm is infectious

FreedomWon

Thank you for your thoughts! I am excited about my sobriety. I'm happy that I finally caught on to the fact that I am an alcoholic. It's a relief really...I am so grateful to God that He's so apparent in my life. I want what I have for every alcoholic and addict out there!

HappyDestiny3

And please join us in the 12 step forum..

Look forward to growing with you...

And I agree , acceptance to being an alcoholic is truly a blessing and relief, because now you can move forward... To be joyous , happy, and free...

You will be rocketed into the 4th dimension... You will gain a 6th sense..

I love not only the 9 step promises, but the other 200 in the book..

FreedomWon

You just totally made my day! Thank you!

Nonsensical

Seems more like raving than ranting.

Welcome to SR! Congrats on your sobriety.

Gilmer

That is so true about giving speakers your undivided attention. Pastors and other speakers love when the audience is looking directly at them because it means that somebody is paying attention to the work they've put into preparing their speech. I've watched audiences--so many people just check their phones or look at the floor. I have been thanked by two pastors for being attentive (what i consider courteous).

Threshold

I spend more time on the newcomers forum here than any other.

It reminds me. It scares me. It gives me the opportunity to share my hope and experience. Newbies ask questions that I don't realize I STILL have inside me, but who's answers I need to hear.

Putting my own thoughts together to respond helps me...understand my own recovery.

Most newbies know they want to get clean and stay clean. That's a pretty important thing to know. They don't know the same things that people with long term sobriety know (me neither I'm just over one year) but they know enough to make me want to stay in conversation with them EVERY day.

least

to SR! I'm glad you joined us.

sugarbear1

Get through the steps with the guidance of a sponsor. Step 8 is a list already compiled by getting through step 4 which is preparation for steps 5-7...... Working the steps on one's own is not how we work those steps.

2granddaughters

When I came to AA in 1989 there was an oldtimer who shared how when he got his 1 yr token that he thought he had it made.
When he got his 2nd yr token he was aware of how screwy he had been in his first year.
When he got his 3rd yr token he was aware of how screwy he was in his 2nd yr.
etc.
etc.
etc.

One of my granddaughters is in SK (senior kindergarten) and is kind-of the teachers pet. My granddaughter calls herself a mathematician because she knows that 2+2=4 and can read pretty well all the books in SK. She actually sees little value in going to Grade 1 next year as she feels she knows everything necessary to do what she will have to do.
I give her a loving hug, tell her she's doing great, but she might just want to give Grade 1 a try as what is taught there "perhaps" will be of value later.

I don't think the AA speaker made a mistake .. ask the oldtimers in your group what they think. Ask your sponsor. The newcomers are my granddaughter.

I had a boss tell me one time years ago when my mind was on the bottle and not on the job, he said "I honestly don't know why I keep you on .... just to serve as a bad example I guess". That's how I came into AA. The oldtimers had patience with me and allowed me to begin to grow, to begin to get what the oldtimers had. I had little to offer.

As you go along in AA you will see what the oldtimer was telling me in 1989.

All the best.

Bob R

bigsombrero

It's just life. When you turned 21, you thought back to those days when you were a teenager and thought "wow, I knew NOTHING back then". When you turned 28 you thought back to 21 and said the same thing. When you turn 38 you look back and realize your 28 year-old self didn't know jack.

As for me, I am 38 and have been sober 9 months. When someone in their first week of sobriety wants to share some tips with me, I will listen - but I also will take it with a grain of salt because they are not where I am. When someone with 20 years of sobriety wants to share some tips, I will listen - but again, grain of salt, they are not where I am.

Same goes in reverse - do you think someone with 14 years of sobriety wants to listen to ME tell THEM how this works? I'm brave, but I'm not stupid.

I find it most helpful to hang with people who got sober close to my sobriety date. Most of my feedback in AA comes from folks with 6 months - 2 years sobriety. It also helps if they are around my age and have similar backgrounds. Maybe you should hone in on finding folks in your situation. It has helped me. Good luck.

Fallow

As far as what the speaker said, I still find it interesting that certain people focus so much on time.

How can I be so ignorant on day 364, and so enlightened on day 366? And it happens for everyone on the same day?

I sometimes see people in AA with years under their belt and I do not want any part of what they have...

I see some others in AA and elsewhere that are exactly where I want to be. Those are the people I ask to tell me their thoughts. I follow what they say to the best of my ability.

I have a family member who is a health fanatic. He eats a great diet, he works out effectively, and achieves the goals he sets. The guy is ripped with a six pack abs. He does not drink. Every time I see him I probe him for his philosophies. I am finding a lot of parallels between the mind set he uses in fitness to what I use in sobriety. I have learned a ton from him. He was previously overweight and overcame a lot of his own mental obsessions to get where he is today.

Time only proves you know how to avoid drinking for x long. Time is not seniority.

I gravitate to people that show they know both how to stay sober and lead a happy fulfilled life. In AA or elsewhere.

How long someone has been sober is an afterthought to me.

Glad to see how enthusiastic you are!

FreedomWon

Thank you so much for this. I think you'll know where I am spiritually when you read my p.m. God's blessings are beyond what I can express in words. Thank you for the time you take with everyone of us that you touch through God's work in the program. You are profoundly appreciated.