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Old 04-06-2013, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
Seems more like raving than ranting.

Welcome to SR! Congrats on your sobriety.
Thank you so much for this! Again, I feel heard. What a blessing!
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Gilmer View Post
That is so true about giving speakers your undivided attention. Pastors and other speakers love when the audience is looking directly at them because it means that somebody is paying attention to the work they've put into preparing their speech. I've watched audiences--so many people just check their phones or look at the floor. I have been thanked by two pastors for being attentive (what i consider courteous).
I so get you on this! I was in a church one time and the pastor actually said, "I want you to respond if you hear what I'm saying."
I've been to churches where people fly out of their seats in agreement. It's infectious!

Thank you for getting what I'm saying here and thank you for being an active participant in the life changing methods of operation of this program!
When we respond to our members and show them the love in our hearts.

You're a blessing in my day!
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Threshold View Post
I spend more time on the newcomers forum here than any other.

It reminds me. It scares me. It gives me the opportunity to share my hope and experience. Newbies ask questions that I don't realize I STILL have inside me, but who's answers I need to hear.

Putting my own thoughts together to respond helps me...understand my own recovery.

Most newbies know they want to get clean and stay clean. That's a pretty important thing to know. They don't know the same things that people with long term sobriety know (me neither I'm just over one year) but they know enough to make me want to stay in conversation with them EVERY day.
Thank you so much for your thoughts. It's not just about the meetings, it's about how we live our life! I want to be present in today and this includes being completely attentive to those around us, which you obviously are doing!
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
to SR! I'm glad you joined us.
Thank you! I hope you know how happy I am to be here and share program with everyone! This place is one fire!!!!
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Fallow View Post
As far as what the speaker said, I still find it interesting that certain people focus so much on time.

How can I be so ignorant on day 364, and so enlightened on day 366? And it happens for everyone on the same day?

I sometimes see people in AA with years under their belt and I do not want any part of what they have...

I see some others in AA and elsewhere that are exactly where I want to be. Those are the people I ask to tell me their thoughts. I follow what they say to the best of my ability.

I have a family member who is a health fanatic. He eats a great diet, he works out effectively, and achieves the goals he sets. The guy is ripped with a six pack abs. He does not drink. Every time I see him I probe him for his philosophies. I am finding a lot of parallels between the mind set he uses in fitness to what I use in sobriety. I have learned a ton from him. He was previously overweight and overcame a lot of his own mental obsessions to get where he is today.

Time only proves you know how to avoid drinking for x long. Time is not seniority.

I gravitate to people that show they know both how to stay sober and lead a happy fulfilled life. In AA or elsewhere.

How long someone has been sober is an afterthought to me.

Glad to see how enthusiastic you are!
And yes, I am enthusiastic because my life has been saved! I love the program. I love the people I meet in recovery; the gentle spirits and those less gentle who solicit their ideas with so much authority are what make everything so wonderfully interesting.

I thank you for this message. It is a blessing in my life today as I love the connection with the like-minded in and around the program.

I believe a person can have a spiritual awakening by making a conscious contact with God and I believe you and I have.

I would not suggest to anyone to do this without a sponsor, but God's been my sponsor while I peruse the steps and wait for Him to intercede with my "physical" sponsor.

Blessings and Grace be with you!
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:30 AM
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero View Post
It's just life. When you turned 21, you thought back to those days when you were a teenager and thought "wow, I knew NOTHING back then". When you turned 28 you thought back to 21 and said the same thing. When you turn 38 you look back and realize your 28 year-old self didn't know jack.

As for me, I am 38 and have been sober 9 months. When someone in their first week of sobriety wants to share some tips with me, I will listen - but I also will take it with a grain of salt because they are not where I am. When someone with 20 years of sobriety wants to share some tips, I will listen - but again, grain of salt, they are not where I am.

Same goes in reverse - do you think someone with 14 years of sobriety wants to listen to ME tell THEM how this works? I'm brave, but I'm not stupid.


I find it most helpful to hang with people who got sober close to my sobriety date. Most of my feedback in AA comes from folks with 6 months - 2 years sobriety. It also helps if they are around my age and have similar backgrounds. Maybe you should hone in on finding folks in your situation. It has helped me. Good luck.
Thank you for your thoughts. I am not avoiding getting a sponsor. I am actively seeking one. In the meanwhile, there's no reason for the newly sober to seek God's anointing for a clear mind through the 12 steps on their own. It only brings us closer to God's will for our lives and being active in program.
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:41 AM
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Great thread Freedom. Fallow you said it!!! Wow . Thank you.
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by SophieB View Post
Great thread Freedom. Fallow you said it!!! Wow . Thank you.

Thank you SophieB! I treasure your words!
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Old 04-06-2013, 11:45 AM
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The message of recovery can come from any person who attends an AA meeting.

Isn't that fabulous!??!!
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:09 PM
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FreedomWon--

I just want to say I like your name! Ha!

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Old 04-06-2013, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters View Post
When I came to AA in 1989 there was an oldtimer who shared how when he got his 1 yr token that he thought he had it made.
When he got his 2nd yr token he was aware of how screwy he had been in his first year.
When he got his 3rd yr token he was aware of how screwy he was in his 2nd yr.
etc.
etc.
etc.

One of my granddaughters is in SK (senior kindergarten) and is kind-of the teachers pet. My granddaughter calls herself a mathematician because she knows that 2+2=4 and can read pretty well all the books in SK. She actually sees little value in going to Grade 1 next year as she feels she knows everything necessary to do what she will have to do.
I give her a loving hug, tell her she's doing great, but she might just want to give Grade 1 a try as what is taught there "perhaps" will be of value later.

I don't think the AA speaker made a mistake .. ask the oldtimers in your group what they think. Ask your sponsor. The newcomers are my granddaughter.

I had a boss tell me one time years ago when my mind was on the bottle and not on the job, he said "I honestly don't know why I keep you on .... just to serve as a bad example I guess". That's how I came into AA. The oldtimers had patience with me and allowed me to begin to grow, to begin to get what the oldtimers had. I had little to offer.

As you go along in AA you will see what the oldtimer was telling me in 1989.

All the best.

Bob R

Wow, there's so much to respond to here. I will kindly say thank you for your wisdom.

I do not think I have all the answers as you proposed in your analogous statement about your grand-daughter's scholastic abilities. If I did, I wouldn't need AA.

With respect, newcomers indeed offer a message to the old-timer, if they are so inclined to listen, about fresh sobriety and the excitement one finds when casting off the old life for renewal.

It may be derisive to say newcomers know nothing because we bring your sobriety to life every day that you participate in the program. Bringing the message to the newcomer is your lifeline.

God bless you today and thank you for your thoughts.

FreedomWon

Last edited by FreedomWon; 04-06-2013 at 12:12 PM. Reason: removed duplicated word
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by ClearLight View Post
FreedomWon--

I just want to say I like your name! Ha!


Thank you! And I like your too! It likely frames your inner thoughts!
Have a blessed day!
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
The message of recovery can come from any person who attends an AA meeting.

Isn't that fabulous!??!!
Thank you Sugarbear1 for this positive message. I agree. God places everyone in our lives with purpose. We all need to rely on His Grace to connect with His plan.
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero View Post
It's just life. When you turned 21, you thought back to those days when you were a teenager and thought "wow, I knew NOTHING back then". When you turned 28 you thought back to 21 and said the same thing. When you turn 38 you look back and realize your 28 year-old self didn't know jack.

As for me, I am 38 and have been sober 9 months. When someone in their first week of sobriety wants to share some tips with me, I will listen - but I also will take it with a grain of salt because they are not where I am. When someone with 20 years of sobriety wants to share some tips, I will listen - but again, grain of salt, they are not where I am.

Same goes in reverse - do you think someone with 14 years of sobriety wants to listen to ME tell THEM how this works? I'm brave, but I'm not stupid.

I find it most helpful to hang with people who got sober close to my sobriety date. Most of my feedback in AA comes from folks with 6 months - 2 years sobriety. It also helps if they are around my age and have similar backgrounds. Maybe you should hone in on finding folks in your situation. It has helped me. Good luck.
Thank you for your wisdom.

I do not think I have all the answers as you propose in your post. If I did, I would not need AA. With that said, I shall paste the same message I gave twogranddaughters in my response to his post:

With respect, newcomers indeed offer a message to the old-timer, if they are so inclined to listen, about fresh sobriety and the excitement one finds when casting off the old life for renewal.

It may be derisive to say newcomers know nothing because we bring your sobriety to life every day that you participate in the program. Bringing the message to the newcomer is your lifeline.

God bless you today and thank you for your thoughts.

FreedomWon
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Old 04-06-2013, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by FreedomWon View Post
Thank you for your wisdom.

I do not think I have all the answers as you propose in your post.
I do not see anywhere in my post where I "proposed" you think you have all the answers. I simply told you what works for me, and said I am willing to listen to everybody.
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Old 04-06-2013, 01:41 PM
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BTW - When I first came here to Sober Recovery I was ranting and complaining about everything under the sun, I searched out opinions that I DID NOT agree with and responded with bitterness. I have found taking a more chilled out approach with others has worked better. I am sorry you took my comment the wrong way, but there is no reason to assume that anyone, in your group or on this board, is slighting you in any way. We are here to help through thick and thin.

Congrats on your new found sobriety and best of luck with everything!
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Old 04-06-2013, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero View Post
BTW - When I first came here to Sober Recovery I was ranting and complaining about everything under the sun, I searched out opinions that I DID NOT agree with and responded with bitterness. I have found taking a more chilled out approach with others has worked better. I am sorry you took my comment the wrong way, but there is no reason to assume that anyone, in your group or on this board, is slighting you in any way. We are here to help through thick and thin.

Congrats on your new found sobriety and best of luck with everything!
I tell you truthfully, nothing I've said in my post has come from bitterness. It has come from fervor about the program. I sincerely apologize for that misgiving.

My original point, is simply that people in recovery who have years of experience should have some grace when speaking about the newcomer as if we are not in the room. I don't see spiritual recovery in rudeness and I'm looking to this person to identify? Clearly not. I would wonder why this person isn't begging God for a spiritual awakening. (Again this is not pointed at you, but the main topic at hand).

Old-timers may think they're doing us a big favor by treating us with a lack of respect, but in the end, they may be doing a disservice to what the Akron Group first started.

Will the sensitive newcomer who may be hanging on by a thread return to a meeting when treated this way? Probably not. And that's one of the reasons we lose so many people to this disease and we do it in these rooms.

We need the grass roots back in our program, not all this made up stuff that's not even in the Big Book.

Okay, my rant is over. It wasn't aimed at you. I'm very passionate about AA.

Thank you for the therapy!
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Old 04-06-2013, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
The message of recovery can come from any person who attends an AA meeting.

Isn't that fabulous!??!!
and the message of sobriety can come from those of us who do NOT attend AA meetings....and do not praise God in every post.

FW

i hope that you take the time to read through the many sections of the forum and enjoy the many different groups.

i especially like the gratitude groups, every day no matter how challenging it has been, i find something to be grateful for.
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Old 04-06-2013, 04:00 PM
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I will have 13 years by God's grace in May. The reason I am sober today is because of the new comers. I have spent the last 11 years working for half-way houses and treatment centers. Unless I continually see where I came from I may get grandiose and forget that my recovery is based on spiritual condition. I did not wake up in jail, tied down to a gurney in mental health, or come to in a strange bed. Today started great in that I am above ground. Too much to be grateful for. God keep sending the new comers it is there whining that keeps me grateful.
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Old 04-06-2013, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by FreedomWon View Post
I tell you truthfully, nothing I've said in my post has come from bitterness.
Where did I call you bitter? I think that is twice now. I am not an old-timer. I am an atheist who uses AA from time to time, along with other resources. I have been to treatment and post-treatment therapy and I am just 9 months sober. The only thing I know is that I don't know much, but I'm learning step by step. Good luck to you as well in this recovery.
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