Grymt

thank's for mentioning yets. I keep forgetting.

I like this forum. It's nice in so many ways

gameofthrones10

I also was like well I go to work and I don't drink in front of any one so it cannot be that bad. I thought I was different until I started to hear some of the awful things I had said to people. I thought I was different until I started to forget entire evenings. Not being present is frightening to me.

wpainterw

Fantail wrote: "I had this quote on my wall for a while: "They believe they can take it or leave it alone — so they take it. If they do stop, out of fear or whatever, they go at once into such a state of euphoria and well-being that they become over-confident. They're rid of drink, and feel sure enough of themselves to be able to start again, promising they'll take one, or at the most two, and — well, then it becomes the same old story over again."

It's from The Lost Weekend (the book), which was published in 1936. It was a good smack in the face when I realized that someone had described my pattern to a T decades before I was even born."

Yes, I've heard that called the "Pink Cloud" period or the "Flight Into Recovery". I've also heard it said that it's the most dangerous period, that is the first few months after quitting entirely, or after release from a rehab. This is the time of an illusion of self confidence, which renders a person, just started into recovery, extremely vulnerable to the covert influence of the more primitive parts of the brain (referred to by the AVRT folks as the "beast") which are desperately attempting to persuade the more "rational" parts of the brain to authorize the restoration of the alcohol intake. So the message goes out, "I can handle it. I'm back in control. Just one small drink wouldn't hurt (I just had a little too much to drink. I'm not really an alcoholic. I'm not like those other folks. I'm different)".

W.
__________________

Tammy47

welcome honeypig (gorgeous dog by the way, those ears are to die for!)

wpainterw

Actually those ears are to stay well for. Dog is my higher power.

W.

deeker

Ya know I believe having alcoholism/addictions has give me a better perspective on most everyone in the world. I just really don't know the road they have walked down and I have a lot more compassion and because of my alcoholism , my ego is down to right size. Didn't matter how much money or stuff I had, this illness brought me to my knees.

fhl41

I may have looked healthier than some... or worse than others, but I was still a slave to the bottle; just as they were. No different.

LadyinBC

I figured I was different. Only got really drunk by myself. Lived by myself so thought that was okay, not affecting anyone else. Had a job and money so I could buy it if I wanted to. Never been to rehab or detox, never arrested or spent a night in the drunk tank.

Guess I figured I was a high class drunk because I certainly wasn't like the people on the street looking for handouts! Thing is looking back, I could easily have ended up there. Who knows where I would have drawn the line. Would I have moved on to drugs once the booze wasn't enough?? Yup, I'm like everyone else, I am no different.

LadyinBC

I totally hear you on this. I have wayyy more compassion for people than I ever did and I am far less judgemental than I use to be. I don't ignore those on the street. I'll just say hi, sometimes get someone coffee, give someone a smoke, I don't pretend they are not there or that I am better than them. Cause I'm not.

soberlicious

I had a similar experience in the psych ward. I came into the hallway to make an important announcement, "Lookit, people, I do not belong here. I am not crazy." I bet I looked super convincing waving my arms around in my assless gown.

quitforme79

Thank you deeker

Fallow

Assless gown lol.

No no I am not different. Just a run of the mill drunk.

It took a couple months of sobriety for me to really see what was going on.

Today one of my greatest pleasures in life is the ability to be equal to everybody else. No better, no worse.

And I do not have to worry about what they think of me anymore.

Cc77

Omg soberlicious that was hilarious!!!

Coldfusion

I first posted this for someone who said he was feeling "skitzo," because he had just quit drinking. I wondered if he really knew what schizophrenia was.

"She (the author) learnt from her Elders that everything in the universe is perfect. People and everything else only become less than perfect when compared to someone or something else, or when influenced by negative forces."

--Rangimarie Turiki Pere, Maori Writer

In Western culture we are taught to understand ourselves and our world by comparison, contrast, dualism, and similarity. It is difficult for us to even imagine that the way other people think and the thinking processes themselves differ from our own.

Imagine the shock of discovering that the majority of people in the world do not use the same thinking processes we do! In fact, in some circles, the use of comparison, contrast, dualism and similar forms of thinking are linked with schizophrenia and addictive thinking processes.

∞

If everything in the universe is perfect, I don't need to compare myself or anything to anyone or anything else. I'm learning to accept people and things as they are. The way I have been taught to think affects me more than I realize.

Anne Wilson Schaef, Native Wisdom for White Minds, Ballantine: 1995.

Olivilo

Good post!
Just like all "different" us here we r all the same, we r recovering and we can do this!!!! Thanks all for giving me strength it really helps me to understand that even though we r all "different" we r still going thru the same. Sorry not sure if it makes sense lol
In recovery day 14.

honeypig

Dog is definitely my HP, too, W!

Thanks for the welcome, Tammy, from both me and Ned, my handsome hound.

Threshold

After my second major relapse (after some clean time and in recovery) there was NO way to deny it. OD'd, screaming, shrieking mess...locked up...yeah, I'm the real deal and do it or die...as far as recovery goes. Do it or die.

No different.

JenEss

AA literature calls that "terminally unique".

ClearLight

I am different. I'm an addict.

Odelle

Different….yes I can relate. Even as a young girl, I was always different. I connected with nature and animals so much easier than with people. I also had a real spiritual connection back then and can remember the feel of running was more like flying, as though my feet didn’t even touch the ground. Even growing up in an abusive home with an alcoholic father whom I avoided like the plague, my sense of connection with the universe was strong and I was genuinely happy in my own company. Years later, the desire to “fit in” led to alcohol, smoking and irrational decisions that I would never had made had I stayed true to myself. I am a work in progress, working backwards to get to that peace and serenity that was lost trying to live and find acceptance in a hostile and judgmental society. Sober for 51 days today and frankly, I don’t want what society has to offer!