tryinagain

Welcome Spenser,
Hello and welcome to SR!!! I too am a beer lover with the mirror story as yours. I quit on Feb 21 with the help of this site and a ton of determination. It's not easy my friend but you can do it and things do get better. The never thinking about it.....well, I dunno if that will ever happen but you sure feel better after awhile. Anyway, welcome and stick around...great people here and that really helps.
Roy

Oh, and not to worry you or anything but you may find after awhile that others knew more about this than you thought but never said anything for many different reasons. Its just typical and after some time of not smelling alcohol on you or not seeing the glassy eyes or bloodshot and groggy the next morning...you might be suprised how many seen what you thought only you knew.

wingsfree

Dan I noticed that too, two arrivals from Scottsdale AZ at the same time, is it the weather? hahaha Gotta get up pretty darn early to slip one past us Canadians..

1Marty

Hi Spenser, I'm Marty, an alcoholic. I can relate so much. The rotating of beer stores (I used to think I was the only one who did this), the hiding of empties, all the regrets of time wasted. I'm glad you did not have to hit a rock bottom, like myself and many others here. Rock bottom is a very tough lesson to take. I wish you well.

Spenser

Hey Dan, the weather down here is now getting to the hot part of the year unfortunately, we are hovering around 100F and will be over that for the next 6 months or so. We have six months of absolute perfect weather and then it is like living on the surface of the sun. Kind of like winters up north, can't do much outside but at least you don't have to shovel sun...If you ever get this way, I'll take you out for a b...whoops, I mean a big ol' Coke or something...looks like current habits are gonna die pretty hard, man. Hey Marty, I thought I was the only one with the rotating beer stores myself, and you know, it's weird, but it was not really a big conscious decision it was more of an unconscious thing. Thanks for your insights as well, Roy, I can't tell you how many times I wake up ( I get up at 5am ) and walk my dog and have that real blurry fogged up feeling, repeating to myself how I should quit. Problem is that in an hour or so I am feeling ok and by the end of the day the beer sirens are calling me for another bout, as if tomorrow isn't going to come. The only thing I am not looking forward to is how, when I don't drink at night, I wake up midway through the night with twitchy arms and legs, I have to get up and walk around and kind of shake 'em out like a swimmer before a race. Do you guys get that? Anyways, have a great night all and I'll get back with you tomorrow. Thank you thank you thank you...

eddie z.

Spenser,
You're welcome!!

mackat,
I heard Y.E.T. was, "You're Eligible Too." Same thing, I guess.


I wish we hadn't lost that "Why I'm not an alcoholic/addict, etc." thread. It was all about our denial and rationalizations. Some of them were real doozies. But the single biggest thing that lets me know I'm an alcoholic is simply that I can't not finish a drink. I mean, a "normal" person can drink half a beer a leave the rest! Not me. I can't even fathom that. Now that's alcoholic thinking.
—Eddie

Dan

Well, I did! But again, I drank way heavier than you. I have clear memories though (talk about a miracle) of waking up in the night with my body all tingling. And those would typically be the nights following 24 to 48 hours without the drink. Simply the case of our bodies going "Hey man, what gives?". After four months of almost continuous abstinence ( two ******* drinks on St-Patricks Day), I sleep like a baby again. And to me, that is one of the gifts of recovery. This alcoholic would regularly drink to a point of such saturation to preclude any sleep for periods of two or three days.

Chy

You got that right!! Ditto!

ted

SPENSER HEEELLLLLLOOOOO,
JUST SAYIN HEY.HOW YOU MAKING OUT?
STAY STRONG FRIEND. ted

Spenser

Hi All,

I truly have appreciated everyone's incredible insights and support since I first posted last week. Over the weekend I did a ton of soul searching as I gathered up my forces to engage what I finally am looking at head-on as a real honest to goodness problem in my life, and I am now fully engaged.

There is a difference in my mental approach on this from so many different aspects from the times I quit for a specified period of time, like a day, or Lent, or whatever. This time I recognize the seriousness of the commitment I will need to have for a long term recovery and the vigilance it appears it will require. It comes down to that first drink as you all have said at different times. It appears that the dangerous time isn't the time when you are determined and motivated (like the morning of a very bad hangover) but rather when you put your mental guard down and the first drink is there for you without even thinking about it. I think that is the thing I need to pay attention to.

I read a post where another newcomer was asking about what do some of you whom have been successful for a time do regarding new habits, new behaviors, etc. It reminds me of what Einstein said - 'you cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it'. I think that applies here. For me it is a realization that pouring that stuff down my throat in the evening is literally borrowing from my future tomorrow to make today feel better. I would rather invest in tomorrow by treating myself better today, knowing I will wake up with a feeling of owning the morning rather than with that feeling of opening one eye to see how bad it is going to feel to come fully awake. Kind of like you have the choice to wake up and say either 'Good morning God!" or "Good God, morning!".

I have changed things like walking my dog at 5 am instead of 10pm, where I used to grab three cold beers for the mile walk to help me get buzzed enough for sleep. Now I breathe in the coming day and look forward to the hot coffee waiting back in the kitchen.

The hardest part for me is the 6pm to 10pm time frame, my usual drinking time. I know and prepare for that battle and know that each time I win it, I am strengthening a new habit replacing an old one. Dan's comments about sleeping like a baby last week really hit home for me. As John Mellencamp wrote "an honest man's pillow is his greatest prize"...

Even knowing and recognizing that I will awaken during the night, for awhile, with that annoying twitching feeling helps me prepare for the greater good of beating this beast back.

Anyway, I am just starting and this is very fragile as you all know, but I am very appreciative of the support and I enjoy sharing my initial insights with the hopes that a newer comer than me may be helped to take their own first step as a result.

Thanks, all.

Dan

Happy to hear from you Spenser. The clarity of your thought process is a thing to behold my friend. I'm happy you're here, I'm happy you're sharing your feelings and observations, and I'm happy your dog gets out for an early walk! Our four legged friends have a lot more to say about our sobriety than we think.
Cool.

Justme57

Hi Spense ! A belated welcome to SR, sorry I missed your arrival

You seem to be hanging in there , great to see. I had to change my routine too, lol my dog thought I had gone mad , probably had lol

I filled the evening gap with coming on here , which was a true blessing , believe me !

The sleeping thing took a couple of months for me , but it does get better , one day at a time

My name is Lee, alcoholic, and I live in Australia

HUGX
Lee

eddie z.

'you cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it'. —Einstein
That's another reason we can't do this alone! We need to check our thinking with other people. Keep reaching out, Spenser. Glad to see you back.
Love, Eddie