Originally Posted by EnnuiStasis

Please forgive me for asking what may seem like a really stupid question, but what is the motivation for all the secrecy? Is that part of the enjoyment (a little adrenaline rush), or does it stem from shame or embarassment? I ask because I really don't understand it.

On another thread, addiction to alcohol and addiction to nicotine were being discussed. I know some smokers sneak and hide, especially in the current social climate, but drinking is more socially accepted than smoking. I'm every bit as addicted to nicotine as my husband is to alcohol--and I know it's harming my health, and I get nasty withdrawal symptoms if I run out--but I've never felt a desire to lie about smoking, shop at different stores, hide the empty boxes and such. I don't smoke much right close to him because the smoke bothers him since they switched to "safe" paper, but I certainly am not stealthy about it.

On the other hand, I've hardly ever even seen my husband pour a drink... he'll wait till I'm out of the room. Or he drinks after I've gone to sleep. When he was drinking mostly beer I was surprised to go into his workshop and find piles of empty beer cartons stuffed between some empty dog food bags. They were obviously emptied one at a time, so it seemed the normal thing to do would be to put them in the burn box with the other cardboard and paper.

His taking the kitchen trash out when it's mostly empty but has some beer cans or a liquor bottle in it was another clue for me. As well as dumping used coffee grounds and/or emptying ash trays on top of the empties so the empies are covered with yuck. (Like I'm really going to dig in the trash to count beer cans ~ no thanks!)

I'd really like to understand this aspect of alcohol dependence better, in part because it's not so much the drinking, the self harm, the need, or the sometimes stupid behavior that bothers me most, but the dishonesty about it. It's almost like the alcohol is a mistress.

Originally Posted by EnnuiStasis

On another thread, addiction to alcohol and addiction to nicotine were being discussed. I know some smokers sneak and hide, especially in the current social climate, but drinking is more socially accepted than smoking. I'm every bit as addicted to nicotine as my husband is to alcohol--and I know it's harming my health, and I get nasty withdrawal symptoms if I run out--but I've never felt a desire to lie about smoking, shop at different stores, hide the empty boxes and such. I don't smoke much right close to him because the smoke bothers him since they switched to "safe" paper, but I certainly am not stealthy about it.

Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis

It is a like a mistress. More than a mistress, a master. The *insert substance here* controls your life and you feel ashamed of that but powerless to stop it. It's also called denial. If other people can't see it you can fool yourself that it's less of a problem. Trying to give the illusion of control or minimizing the problem was what it was about for me.

Originally Posted by Bigndfan175

I have spiked my NA beer with vodka

Originally Posted by shoreladylu

Another one- I remember seeing this "funny" comic on Facebook where a wine bottle opener gradually lifted its "arms" as it was twisted. At the end the bottle opener looked like a person with their arms raised in victory.

Originally Posted by Pataphor

I have that opener - actually I am on #2 because the first one couldn't lift her arms anymore (should of got a hint)...I always thought it was great, now not so much. Now she sits nicely with her arms down.

:ghug3