Bruno1979

Hi guys,

I honestly thought that I'd beaten it,

I'm so embarrassed to be posting this when I'd gone almost 4 months without feeling this gut wrenching feeling inside,

I am far from drunk, or maybe I am? I will probably know more tomorrow when I wake up.

I've had such a great few months with my family and then I end up in a pub drinking and now I'm lying on our bed after hearing my wife saying to me "you're probably best going bed because you're drunk again".

OMG,

Where from here?

Bruno.

wheresthefun

Could that be part of it, Bruno? It's been almost four months, you thought you had it beat, so you let your guard down? Please don't think I'm being a smartass, I'm not, I'm just asking.

ricmcc

Where do you go from here?---well, upward and onward, as they say. Slips are not that uncommon, and need not turn into relapse. Try, hard as it might be, not to beat yourself up too much, get get back into recovery. After all, the last 4 months plus a day you have had one day drinking--how does that compare to the 4 months before that period, if you get my point. I'm not trying to minimize your slip, just encourage you not to let it get you so down that it impedes your recovery. All the best to you and your family---rick

FreeFall

I'm not sure we ever get to beat it. It's not really something we just get over and then we're done. Much to my dismay! I think we have to look at it with no "finish line" and accept it for the new lifestyle that it is.

Please don't beat yourself up so much that you give up hope. The reality is 4 months sober vs. 1 day drinking. The sober you is wayyyyyy ahead. Plenty of people on SR talk about their slips leading them to success-they drink and realize it wasn't all they'd hoped it would be, and came back with stronger resolve. Try to figure out what made you say yes to drinking-what was different about this day than the other 120 days you were successful?

Anna

Bruno, I'm sorry you're going through this.

I don't think I've ever felt like I've beaten alcoholism. Recovery is a life-long journey and I hope that you're ready to work on it again.

Spinach

Bruno, Get sober start again and this time watch out , but start tomorrow , no couple of days to lick your wounds!!
You have done brilliantly, could you have imagined five months ago that you could have said four months without a drink, and more to the point could you say in eight months , in the last year I've only drank on one day.
Regards John.

bambi89

Hi Bruno,

My heart goes out to you. I've done my fair share of slips and each one has been an awful, horrible experience.

In my opinion you've done the exactly the right thing so far by admitting to what's happened instead of pretending everything's ok. I can completely understand why you feel embarrassed but all you've done what we do, drink. It's a completely normal reaction but please don't let it stop you repeating whatever you've been doing to get to 4 months sober.

Sam

SophieB

Freefall has it right...slip ups have helped many people come back with stronger resolve!! Look at how well you did for 4 months not the bad of 1 day.

Please keep us posted!
Good luck

Jeni26

Bruno-nothing can take away that achievement of getting sober and staying that way for 4 months. Plenty of us have slipped.

What is important now is that you don't slide any further or give up. Stop drinking now.

Sleep it off and get back up. We are waiting for you and will support you all we can. We are your friends xxx

KAMRIZ

It takes so much courage for you to come here and say "hey dudes, I messed up", what an awesome thing that is!!

What can you learn from it? Is there a little nugget of knowledge or self awareness you can find to use this experience as a tool?

hypochondriac

Sorry to hear this Bruno, but don't let a slip hold you back. Have you thought about approaching this from different angles? This time you committed to a period of time sober and you did it. That's progress in itself. But maybe you could approach it differently, like with the AVRT 'I will never drink again' approach or the AA 'one day at a time' approach. Get some extra support, phone Aquarius (01782 283113) or AA (0845 769 7555), or read the Rational Recovery book. You might have to do some investigating to find out what will work for you x

YouRmySunshine

All the best! Stay sober today!

Hevyn

It's going to be ok, Bruno. You can get back on track - and this time you'll be even more determined to stay the course. You've learned something valuable. Please carry on - you can do this.

Ptcapote

Hi Bruno---I feel you completely tonight. I also thought I had "beaten it" after only six weeks sober and just screwed up royally to the tune of a three-day binge. I have spent the past twelve hours recovering from a brutal hangover (didn't miss those, I must say) and trying to figure out why I messed up again. The shame and guilt are the worst parts of it. Even worse than the blinding headache and nausea. The thing that helped me today was forcing myself to eat and to take a shower. Small steps but they stopped the binge. Maybe that will work for you too? Being here is the best place for me tonight and maybe it will be for you as well. With you in spirit. Tomorrow is a new day---or so they tell me

AM9610

Hi Bruno,

It's easy (though often useful) to think of our respective recoveries in terms of days/numbers, as it gives us something quantifiable to pride ourselves on. However, it really can be disheartening when you slip up and have to go back to Day One. That usually leaves me very depressed. I prefer to think of it not just in number of days, but also as a lifelong process that will have some peaks and valleys. I do everything I can to make the peaks last as long as possible....and here's the trick...I do it one day at a time. Everyday I commit to being sober on that day. Am I always going to be successful? I hope so, but I can't guarantee anything. It's the best I can do!

soberclover

Some wonderful advice going on here Bruno. Best thing to do tonight is to not drink, get some rest, and tomorrow is a new day. Take this experience and learn from it. Play it through and figure out what you can do differently. You are awesome for being honest with yourself!

vegibean

Bruno, you've got tons of support here, I agree, don't beat yourself up too hard, learn from this, pick yourself up and keep going. You can get back to this. Welcome back.

splendra

(((Bruno)))

Don't beat yourself up. Take it easy you can make it.

neway55

Every day is a learning experience. Don't dwell on what happened, learn from it, let it make you stronger the next time you face this situation. Because you will. Just don't give up on your self and never quit trying ti quit.

Hollyanne

Hi Bruno,
If it was easy, we wouldn't be here.
You will be ok after a nights sleep and a good breakfast and as Ptcapote says, a shower.
Don't let it turn into a binge though.
Good for you, coming on here and talking.