HereIAm321

2-3 years of heavy drinking. So,

2-3 years to fully recover?
2-3 months?

LexieCat

Nobody can put a timetable on it. And ideally, we continue to grow throughout our lives.

So let's say, hypothetically, that you are pretty together, recovery-wise, in a year or two. Your emotional maturity in your early 20s is not what it will be (or should be) when you are in your 40s.

The point is, you cannot judge how recovery "feels" by how you are feeling right now, or even next week or the week after. The booze is barely out of your system and your body and brain are just catching their breath. It takes time for them to heal, and you will feel better shortly even if you have lots more recovery work to do.

Coldfusion

Good morning, sister!

I was going to email my sister about her son, who got busted for pot. But sounds like you need help more right now!

mecanix

15 years of heavy drinking here .. 16 months on and am still learning and working at life . Serenity of mind and contentment is real and you can achieve it ,

Bestwishes, M

Coldfusion

I need to go make a second cup of coffee. It takes a while, because I do it by hand. This practice comes from living in a home without electricity, where I actually had a hand-powered coffee grinder.

We want everything to be push-button instant; especially in Vegas. Well, recovery doesn't work like that. There's lots of hills and valleys before you can even see the plains of eternal happiness,

Find a NA meeting to go to! Go meet some people who are really desperate. That would put you in a different state of mind.

awuh1

There are times when it’s hard to imagine things being better. There are places where all we can see is our own hurt. Times and places do change, and with that change a different perspective emerges. It’s going to take some hard work to climb out of the hole you are in right now, but it most certainly can be done. Recovery is a process, it’s a journey, and your perspective will chance. Emotionally you are likely to be all over the place for many months but the emotional swings will eventually diminish.

vegibean

HereIAm, remember it's just for today, don't think ahead, just stay right where you are.

You really need to not beat yourself up, it's time to be your biggest cheerleader, not tear yourself down.

I remember when I was getting sober in rehab I caught myself trashing me with things like "you suck Vegi, you don't deserve to live, you a horrible person", and I just thought, WTH am I doing? I don't suck, I'm sad and torn down, but I know I'm a good person. Right then I walked to the mirror in my room and told myself how great I was and how I deserved to be happy and that I deserved it. I cried, but I needed to do that for me, I had to be my biggest cheerleader because I was the only one that could turn that around. I was beating myself down, that's no good.

You deserve this HereIAm, I hope, wish you'd believe that and know that. :ghug3

Coldfusion

Well, I just emailed my sister (and have more coffee). I told my sister the same thing I told you: that I thought NA meetings would help.

You need to put as much effort into recovery as you did into drinking. When you travel, don't Google the best bars to prepare--find meetings. Get a sponsor, and start working the steps. When my sponsor travels, he makes sure I have his cell number in case I need him. I have his work number, and could go to his home at ANY time if I were in a crisis. Just knowing all that help is there is a good feeling.

HereIAm321

Was saying goodbye to my cousin and broke down. She insisted I stay and talk to her and my aunt. I was about to drive off, but gonna stay for another hour or two instead. Cousin said "I know you can do this. You're SO strong. I've always believed that, even when you were a little girl, you were always strong. I believe in you. Your sister has her own ****; don't shoulder her problems. It's about YOU; she comes later. Be kind, but YOU need to come first right now."

Coldfusion

There are a few members of my family who understand me, and it is NOT my closest relations. Have a good afternoon!

Are you driving home tonight?

Please let us know that you are in a good space before you head home.

Thanks!

Dee74

I think self hatred is a problem for most of us HIA.

For me it was the fuel for my addiction - if I'm not worth it, then why bother...if someone thinks that about me, they why even try to change....?

Each of us has our strengths, our talents - each of us is unique - and I believe each of us has a reason for being here.

You will find your reason too - and you will find an internal compass that will keep you upright through all kinds of emotional weather...

keep moving in the right direction HIA

D

Tamerua

This. You are worth it.

LexieCat

There ya go--see, there are people who believe in you. It's easy to listen only to those who confirm our worst thoughts about ourselves and take what they say as the truth.

We are complicated people--nobody is all good or all bad. When the dust settles from your withdrawal there will be plenty of time to sort out what's good in your life and what needs to change. Just be assured that you do have a lot of good inside and that sobriety will give you a chance to really express that good.

HereIAm321

Heading home now.

Hevyn

HereIAm - I just now saw this thread & read it all. What a relief at the end to see you feel better. There was so much good advice and support given - I'll just add that I care about you, too - and I know you can get through these bad times and have a whole new life.

I'm glad you came here to talk about it. We're all in this together.

LexieCat

Have a safe trip! Sounds like you are feeling a little better--glad to hear it.

HereIAm321

My mood.

image-1510385510.jpg

Delilah1

Glad you stayed and talked to them, you sound much better. Hope your drive back to San Diego is a good one. Be safe.

vegibean

Cloudy and partly sunny...???

Hevyn

Sun's breaking through the clouds - maybe just a bit?