dragon12

I"ve lost count of how many times I have attempted to give up drinking. My drink of choice is wine and it is usually around 5pm that I start drinking. What makes it even worse is that my partner is also a big drinker and neither of us are working so it's not such a big deal if we wake up with a sore head as we don't have to go to work. If we go out with friends or family, I will only have 2 to 3 glasses of wine, but when I get home I open another bottle to top up.

I know that the wine is having a really detrimental affect on my health, as every morning my stomach feels like the lining is being eaten away.

I've never sought help before, apart from this forum, but I am considering getting some assistance or counselling. I feel so ashamed though that I have reached this stage and I feel ashamed that anyone will know about my "secret".

Yesterday I was very hung over so wasn't such a big deal not drinking last night. but tonight will be the gig challenge.....DAY 1!

Rose2012

Wine was my best friend for a long time. I miss it. But it's toxic. I am in hiding myself, nobody who really knows me is aware of my problem. I'm in day 4 of sobriety and I hope to stay that way. Day 1 was rough...you can do it though. Good luck.

dragon12

Well done...day 4! I know, it sounds terrible to be congratulating someone on not drinking for four days but I know exactly where you are. at It's bloody hard and the hardest part for me is comprehending how it got to this stage! It was only a few years ago when more than two glasses of wine was too much, now I can drink two bottles.....shameful! I hope you stay sober too and I would be really interested to hear your progress.

romando

I'm trying to start today, but I find living alone is tough as there's really nobody to be ashamed from except myself. I left my wallet at home to help make it more difficult to buy any booze to drink.

Dee74

welcome back dragon - and welcome romando

D

Thepatman

Welcome both! The shame you are experiencing will slowlly disapear and be replaced with a feeling of pride, pride like you have not felt for long.
Give it time and keep sober. Then tell us about how great you feel ;-)
Easy? Not at first, but you have to want this more then anything

romando

Thanks a lot. It's encouraging to hear. The hardest part is hearing voices, anxiety and freaky visions for a few days when I do try to stop. I even didn't see my doctor last week because sometimes I feel I don't wanna stop. But as you said, it's always a much better feeling when you do.

Thepatman

It's normal to not want to stop when you know the pain of the first few days. Careful with detox, some need medical assistance and it can be dangerous for some. But like I said, you pass this initial hell and it's up hill from there. Happy you are here posting

romando

Much appreciated, Thepatman. I've gotta get some work done for now, but I'll get back on here in the afternoon when I usually start to feel the urge. Yeah, the first few days are the toughest but after that, it's a lot easier. So I guess I have to make that step first and then focus on the next part, which is just realizing there's no situation in which I can drink.

dragon12

I understand where you are coming from. I have told my husband that we are not allowed to have any alcohol in the house any more......if we want wine then we will have to get in the car and drive to buy it. I'll wait and see if that deters me. My husband is upset because if you buy a case of wine it's usually significantly cheaper. So yes, if you don't have the money in your pocket then you will be unable to buy booze when it's convenient. One other strategy that I'm going to use is that when I start craving for wine I will eat something......yes I know, within a week or two I'll be the size of a bus, but I see this as being only temporary.

dragon12

Also, one of my triggers for wanting a drink is loneliness and boredom. I'm determined to start getting involved in activities that do do revolve around alcohol. Sadly. here in Australia, so many social outlets involve alcohol for people my age, so it won't be easy.

Rose2012

This is exactly my problem, and I worded it the same "loneliness and boredom"...I live in an isolated area and have no friends or family. The only activity I see that revolves around no alcohol is studies, so my solution is to go back to school. I'm hoping I'll meet some people there who aren't interested in the bar scene...mind you, the school is in Montreal (Qc) where alcohol is a big part of the social scene...sigh.

dragon12

A huge part of any study scene involves alcohol.....whether it be the university bar or meeting other students to discuss assignments in the local pub. The good thing is though, to get good marks and study effectively you really do need to have a clear head and I know that when I was studying it was all consuming - in fact, thinking back I rarely touched alcohol.

Thepatman

Rose2012, I'm a fellow Quebec resident, so I understand the dilemma. Beer is freekin everywhere. La belle province is half drunk! LOL!

Rose2012

Lol...la belle province where you can get beer and wine at any gas station and depanneur until 11pm....or make friends with the local bartender who'll let you stay there until 4am or 5am...I love Montreal...but it's such a bar scene. I'm really hoping I don't fall back into that when I'm back at Concordia. I do remember though, the pub life when I was at school the first time...I did have a lot of fun.

And yes Dragon...to get good grades, I will need my sobriety. I used to get way too involved in the social aspect of school. I'll just have to be careful and stick to coffee and soda water...scary to think of right now on Day 4.

romando

Yes, I think when it's tough if it's a part of the culture and social scene. I'm in Korea now, and it's so easy to access alcohol and it's dirt cheap. So it's probably not the best place to be! But if you feel lonely or bored, I've found after a few days, this feeling disappears. That energy takes a while to recover. I too tried eating like you and I'm sure the calories are still less than alcohol! Plus it's tasty.

nogard

yeah wine was my daily dose for a long time too. Glad its buggered off and I dont have to pick up again.

healing is a long gradual and wonderful process and it all starts with day 1, congrats and welcome

I love dragons, just take a look at my nickname

Kevin

dragon12

Thanks Romando, yes one of my triggers is when I'm tired and crave a drink and of course mostly being hung over I'm always feeling tired, so hopefully my energy levels will increase. As for the eating, yes it's tasty, but I associate certain foods with a glass of wine like cheese and biscuits and crisps. Not easy any way you look at it, but it's taken me years to get to this stage.

dragon12

Thanks Kevin, yes I'm determined to give up the wine. I've tried so many times before and I know it's not going to be easy, but I also know, one or two glasses leads to one ot two bottles, so time to stop fooling myself that I can drink in moderation.

scat143

i have been doing day 1's for a looooonnnnggg time. get control now. i have bad rosacea and as soon as i have one drink my face is red or purple. how embarrassing.