magpul

Hi Rose, thanks for your reply in my thread, thought I would reply to yours. I'm a guy but I have dealt with anxiety, a bad falling out with a woman I loved, and general loneliness.

I don't pretend to have all the answers because in many ways I know what you're going through as I have gone through the same. The one thing that I can tell you though is that when you get on a set diet and are going to the gym consistently you will feel better than you have in a very long time. Instead of thinking about alcohol, try thinking about what healthy meal you are going to eat next, or how your next gym session will be, or anything else that has anything to do with improving yourself mentally and physically.

Also check out the movie "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.

You can do it, you aren't alone!

Rose2012

Thanks Magpul! I'm craving structure. I'm so disciplined in other areas of my life...I mean, I study from home doing a distance degree, I'm very good at taking care of my little dog, I keep the house clean...I hate that I can't get my motivation going these days...and it wasn't just since I stopped drinking, it's been since the break up. I think I definitely need to re-join the gym. I've actually been browsing the allrecipes site looking for new recipes to try too. I did manage to bake some bran muffins just now. I love life, I love its challenges, but some days I wish it would give me a break!

magpul

We can all use a break sometimes!

SeekingWellness

If you can afford AAA (that's the Auto Association, not alcoholics!) it might put you mind at ease about the car breaking down. It's only about $75 for the whole year--they don't fix your car but at least you know if you have a breakdown you are not stranded in the middle of nowhere. The gym is definitely worth it. Exercise does address depression. Go for it. You'll feel so much better. I'm really irritated that my gym recently started closing at 4:00 on Fri, Sat, Sun. Ridiculous! I'm going to look for another. It's so necessary to get out and move your body. Hang in there!

Rose2012

Closed at 4pm??? Insane! The one I'm going to join is 24 hours which I love. Oh yes, I do have an AAA type of membership for sure. Still though, I'm just nervous in general of running the car into the ground, lol...but I think my mood these days has a lot to do with that!

SeekingWellness

I don't know about you but I find Sundays really, really hard. I bet you'll feel better tomorrow morning. Just think about getting thru tonite. Cuddle that dog. Think about taking a walk in the morning. The Laurentian Mountains are your home? That must be beautiful. But i can relate to the fact that living in the boonies can feel isolating too. A 24-hour gym: that's a keeper. Zumba! Did it once, seemed impossible but it must be soooooo fun if you can get the hang of it....

Rose2012

I've never done Zumba, it looks fun, but I'm not a fan of group classes really. I can never follow along! This area is quite beautiful actually, just where I live is very isolated. At least the bears are starting to hibernate, so I can walk a little further into the woods by myself! I'm cuddling the dog, and he's loving it! Thanks for your support

audra

Hey Rose - When I quit, I gave my self permission for a whole month just to go with the flow of the rise and fall of energy. My doctor told me it would take up to eight weeks before any type of normalcy would arise. This is a time to take really good care of you. The gym thing seems like its adding some stress so postpone it for awhile. Accept where you're at. In the meantime you could dig out that bike and equipment and see if you could commit to even 10 - 20 minutes a day. And go for lots and lots of walks. Take baths. Read and rest as much as possible. Quitting is stressful on the old brain and it needs loads of TLC.

Take Care
Audra

solstice3

Rose, congrats on 3 days. I agree with Audra abut waiting on the gym. I know what its like trying to make a car last a little longer, been there.

In a prior post you said " I really miss my ex...I know that's not helping. We were long distance, planning to meet in December, together nearly 4 months...then I caught him in a lie, called him on it and he up and disappeared on me on Halloween."

I know it sucks that he never responded, but if you guys haven't met, and you caught him in a lie already, you might look at it as a good thing that it didn't go any further. Who knows what he was really like? Did you guys use Skype? What if you were not compatible in person after all? I am not trying to making light of it. Just maybe seeing another perspective of it will help you not feel as bad and you can begin to put it behind you, which I know is not easy.

I'm only on day 15, but the last couple of days have been much better. And SR folks say it continues to get better.

Hang in there.

Rose2012

Trust me, I've stayed up many days and nights to find the logic in things. We were long distance, but we did video webcam phone calls every night for nearly 4 months. We also had phone conversations for hours each morning. We never met in person physically but the love was there. We were extremely compatible. Thanks for trying to give me a different perspective, but unfortunately there is only one I can see. At least I didn't drink because of him tonight.

Fernaceman

A friend in the program recently went to see a priest during one of his "down" times. He talked to him about this very thing. No motivation to do anything. All the desire in the world to work out, not have a girlfriend who uses, and work a program of recovery.

The priest's reaction to these things was almost humorous. "So go and work out." "Don't have a girlfriend who uses." "WORK a program of recovery." Life is about choices. We can choose to do these things and better ourselves or not, but no one is forcing us to. If we choose the latter and not better ourselves, we need better be prepared to accept any and all consequences as a result.

For me, I did not want the consequences anymore. It became too much of a hassle living that way. Now I don't HAVE to work a program of recovery, I GET to. Many people do not get this opportunity. It is a blessing.

artsoul

Sobriety can be real bumpy at first - it's totally normal to have one good day, then a bad day, then a couple of good days. The good news is that the bad days get fewer and further between.

I had the same feelings you're having - I felt tired, totally unmotivated, nothing sounded good, but I was bored at the same time. Some days I just had to accept what I was feeling (as opposed to dwelling on how much I wanted to escape from it). Now, there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I enjoy.

Something that always helps me when nothing seems positive is to stop and think about what I have to be grateful for: a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, enough to eat, etc. It puts things in perspective for me.

I'm not patient either, but staying sober helped me see that I can be when I need to. Just keep at it because you're healing and learning as you go, even if you can't see it right now!