MyTimeNow

I have had THE most AMAZING 2 weeks and I cannot thank everybody enough for their messages here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3673857

They really do mean a lot from friends. I've been staying away from the forums as I have been concentrating on life and work and the absolute buzz I have been getting from life and trying not to think about drink completely...

So what did I do this Friday afternoon after finishing work? Buy a bottle of FKING VODKA!!! So I'm here, pissed and looking at all my self harm injuries, thinking of what a loser I am and why would I get a chance like this in life... All cos some guy asked me out lol

I'm not going back there again - ever. I've gone from feeling justifiably confident, competent, pretty much amazing - look at me up and out at 8am every morning arriving to work without hangover without fail to losing the plot and buying vodka on the way home and convincing myself I'm not worthy of this happiness, this buzz, this great feeling... Convincing myself I don't deserve the high level of self esteem and the happiness. Numpty!

I'll kick it after tonight but am so effin pee'd off with myself!!!

MyTimeNow

Don't worry about it anyone, bad decision, not one I'll be making again...

... just the experience of making new friends/colleagues and walking out to the car park having a chat and saying see you on Monday - that is worth a thousand spilled drinks and sobriety - I've not had adult conversation, been recognised for any skill let alone commended on it for many a year. I'm not going to mess this up. Sorry for using this site to vent. I do clearly have a problem, but only when I'm drunk. I'm learning and growing stronger, I won't waffle anymore.

mecanix

Hey MTN ,

Stick the drink down the sink , have some water . You deserve to be and will be sober .

Bestwishes, M

doggonecarl

Well, there is that little problem that led up to buying the bottle. Tackle that, you won't have the problem of drinking it.

Stay strong.

justhadenough

Hey MTN,sorry to hear that,

Hope you poured it away -today is a new start.you still have all those sober days,it's just finding new ways of coping.maybe staying around SR will help-I find when I stay away I drink.x

instant

It is an addiction after all. It's great you got some sober time and enjoyed it. The next trick really is not going back to it for all manner of reasons, happy, sad, angry , disappointment, stressed etc etc

You are worth it. Keep at it.

Dee74

Welcome back MTN

I think a lot of us found ourselves drinking again...it is hard to change the habit of many many years.

It's not impossible tho - you just have to work out what it is you have to do to permanently change things.

For some it's lifestyle changes, for others it's more support, for some it's accepting we have a problem, or maybe it's just simply believing that we can live a different way and we deserve to do so.

For some of us, it's all those things.

Make whatever adjustments you need to.

Fall down seven times, get up eight - y'know?

D