Not ready to stop completely, but time to make changes
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Toronto ONtario
Posts: 80
Controlled drinking never worked for me despite a multitude of attempts. I don't doubt some have pulled it off but not anyone I know. I would question the fixation on having just 1 (or just 2 or just 3). I am just guessing but I would suspect that the few who have managed it didn't approach it in that manner as, to my mind and I'm only speaking for myself, the fixation on an amount is addictive thinking in itself. Only you can figure it out for yourself though. I hope it works for you.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by solstice3 
Sothisisit, I like the saying at the bottom of your post. It is so true. I did it. And no one else even had a key to my place. Was I thinking: if I die they won't find this? Of course they would. Crazy behavior.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Best of luck! It is a tough thing to attempt I think but some have done it (not many). If it doesnt work I would strongly consider complete absintance....or at least for a while. Like said above, dont waste too much time trying to control it. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 30
Quick update; I did pretty well today. Very productive day overall, and went until just now to have one beer. Don't feel like I need another. Bed comes soon and it starts again, I guess. It's definitely a battle; I won't lie.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Boston
Posts: 547
Have you thought about doing 30 days
Just try and go 30 days without alcohol.
If you can do that without a problem then maybe you're not an alcoholic. If you can't... well that will tell you something else.
And maybe your mood and things will improve when you stop drinking.
For the record I'm 24 years old, I'm in graduate school, I have a good job, I've always done well in school, that's not to say I haven't suffered consequences from drinking because I have but my life hasn't been destroyed but I also haven't really gained anything, looking back I've missed out on a lot... lots of my problems are related to drinking... I justified for a long time that I wasn't an alcoholic. I've been at this for two years and drinking for almost all of it. Denial is a powerful thing. Especially when you haven't truly hit rock bottom. I made the decision I wasn't going to wait until I did when I saw it happen to someone I love a lot ...I hope I am able to stay sober and not end up like he did. But it is an every day battle. I still fight that denial
Best of luck to you. I hope you seriously consider the 30 days thing.
Just try and go 30 days without alcohol.
If you can do that without a problem then maybe you're not an alcoholic. If you can't... well that will tell you something else.
And maybe your mood and things will improve when you stop drinking.
For the record I'm 24 years old, I'm in graduate school, I have a good job, I've always done well in school, that's not to say I haven't suffered consequences from drinking because I have but my life hasn't been destroyed but I also haven't really gained anything, looking back I've missed out on a lot... lots of my problems are related to drinking... I justified for a long time that I wasn't an alcoholic. I've been at this for two years and drinking for almost all of it. Denial is a powerful thing. Especially when you haven't truly hit rock bottom. I made the decision I wasn't going to wait until I did when I saw it happen to someone I love a lot ...I hope I am able to stay sober and not end up like he did. But it is an every day battle. I still fight that denial
Best of luck to you. I hope you seriously consider the 30 days thing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Ugh...moderation. I could never see the point of it...all in or all out!
My life is much simpler and much more enjoyable not having to worry about how much is too much and how much is not enough and how much is just right. And how come what my head tells me is enough is never what my addiction thinks is enough.
Sometimes you have to make a few mistakes to figure out the right road to travel down. Your addiction has laid out a pretty good plan ...carefully designed to trick you into thinking that you're taking affirmative action while ensuring the future use of alcohol for itself.
I hope I'm wrong. I hope you are utterly unique.
My life is much simpler and much more enjoyable not having to worry about how much is too much and how much is not enough and how much is just right. And how come what my head tells me is enough is never what my addiction thinks is enough.
Sometimes you have to make a few mistakes to figure out the right road to travel down. Your addiction has laid out a pretty good plan ...carefully designed to trick you into thinking that you're taking affirmative action while ensuring the future use of alcohol for itself.
I hope I'm wrong. I hope you are utterly unique.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 249
Ugh...moderation. I could never see the point of it...all in or all out!
My life is much simpler and much more enjoyable not having to worry about how much is too much and how much is not enough and how much is just right. And how come what my head tells me is enough is never what my addiction thinks is enough.
Sometimes you have to make a few mistakes to figure out the right road to travel down. Your addiction has laid out a pretty good plan ...carefully designed to trick you into thinking that you're taking affirmative action while ensuring the future use of alcohol for itself.
I hope I'm wrong. I hope you are utterly unique.
My life is much simpler and much more enjoyable not having to worry about how much is too much and how much is not enough and how much is just right. And how come what my head tells me is enough is never what my addiction thinks is enough.
Sometimes you have to make a few mistakes to figure out the right road to travel down. Your addiction has laid out a pretty good plan ...carefully designed to trick you into thinking that you're taking affirmative action while ensuring the future use of alcohol for itself.
I hope I'm wrong. I hope you are utterly unique.
I spent an entire year floating around AA meetings, creating my own program of action that attempted to stay sober until the weekend each time. I wouldn't even make it through the first night most of the time. On the nights I was finally sober, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. My body depended on the alcohol for me to sleep.
sk8man121, if it were easy, all we would have to say to you is to stay sober for several days and see the changes for yourself. But I know how difficult it was for me to even give that a try. I spent a whole year back out there after the initial string of AA meetings I went to. I would try to quit for one day, a week, a weekend, etc. It was just exhausting and I look back at it and it was like I was running into a wall over and over again and not even knowing it. I hope you'll make it to AA or some other program of recovery and start to learn more about real sobriety. Not the 1 or 2 day type of sobriety that I too knew all too well back then. I wish you luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 30
"Ugh...moderation. I could never see the point of it...all in or all out!"
Look...I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here, but this is by and large the definition of black and white thinking.
It's simply not plausible to believe that a human being is incapable of controlling their approach to drinking alcohol. If this was true, society would crumble. The simple fact of the matter is that some people truly do encounter problems that require complete abstinence, but plenty of people have a drink or two each day and their lives are non the worse for doing so.
Others find themselves in a place where they've started taking advantage of the privilege to drink without issue, and have perhaps formed slight addictions that have gotten in the way of their daily lives. I would place myself currently square in this category.
In my opinion, it would be jumping to conclusions to say that, because of this, I need to never touch another sip of alcohol in my life and must entirely restructure my life and abstain from psychoactive chemicals completely in order to set things right again.
The fact is, I believe alcohol and other psychoactive drugs can be employed in a healthy manner when they are not abused. Have I been the hallmark of such an image in recent days? No.
Does that mean it's impossible to strike a balance, rather than convincing myself that I am powerless and unable to control my actions? No.
Sorry, but life is not black and white.
Look...I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here, but this is by and large the definition of black and white thinking.
It's simply not plausible to believe that a human being is incapable of controlling their approach to drinking alcohol. If this was true, society would crumble. The simple fact of the matter is that some people truly do encounter problems that require complete abstinence, but plenty of people have a drink or two each day and their lives are non the worse for doing so.
Others find themselves in a place where they've started taking advantage of the privilege to drink without issue, and have perhaps formed slight addictions that have gotten in the way of their daily lives. I would place myself currently square in this category.
In my opinion, it would be jumping to conclusions to say that, because of this, I need to never touch another sip of alcohol in my life and must entirely restructure my life and abstain from psychoactive chemicals completely in order to set things right again.
The fact is, I believe alcohol and other psychoactive drugs can be employed in a healthy manner when they are not abused. Have I been the hallmark of such an image in recent days? No.
Does that mean it's impossible to strike a balance, rather than convincing myself that I am powerless and unable to control my actions? No.
Sorry, but life is not black and white.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 30
Also, thanks for the words TippingPoint. Indeed I do intend to start a one-month "sobriety test" once the Holidays have passed by. I anticipate a sober January. For now, I'm working towards easing into that on a day-to-day basis.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 30
I have to say too that I'm a bit disappointed by all of this defeatism. Why is it that after I say "well, it was tough, but I ended up having a very productive, uplifting day for the most part" that I am met with "ohhh...you're doomed to think that if you don't stop drinking you can actually be ok?"
I had a good feeling earlier, and now I just feel like I'm being judged.
I had a good feeling earlier, and now I just feel like I'm being judged.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Originally Posted by sk8man121
I have to say too that I'm a bit disappointed by all of this defeatism. Why is it that after I saw "well, it was tough, but I ended up having a very productive, uplifting day for the most part" that I am met with "ohhh...you're doomed to think that if you don't stop drinking you can actually be ok?"
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