JimJim

After being in tumultious relationshiop for six years and escaping to China I returned to find the same problems. I love this girl and for a familiar time she has screwed me over to say she is now in a relationship with somebody else. My bones shook as she told me, I could not cope. I've been unemployed for nine months after returning from a professional job in Hong Kong.I drank after ten days. Excuses yes. But too good an excuse for me to drink. I'm I'm heartbroken, lonely as helll, no friends etc. I almost died the other day after the doctor perscribed me zopiclone to sleep and I took all fourteen pills, without my wits knowledge. Mother didn't call the paramedics becasue she was afraid I would lose my medical profession. Where do I begin to start agaiin. I have no personality and no belief in myslef. It took two months for me to get to day one last time, I pray to aanyhting I can get there tommorrow. I'm, disgusted with myself but heartbroken at the same time.

JimJim

God damn i'm hurting. I can't breathe

Fenris

"Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job -- wife or no wife -- we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God." -- Big Book, 1st Ed., pg. 98.

Give it a read.

FredG

A real great place to start is ... now ... at the beginning of the rest of your life.

I would suggest AA. Call your local AA hotline.

doggonecarl

I'm sorry you are in this mess. I understand brokenhearted. But I don't understand the self-destructive behavior over what an ex-girlfriend is doing.

You are stronger than this. Get yourself well and carry on with a long and productive, and (I promise you) a love-filled life.

JimJim

I'm sorry I value your reply but I beleive in myslef not god. Only I will change my circumstances. I don't rely on anything else. It's just bhurtfull times.. it will pass and thing will get better. The onlyb way is up from here

FredG

It's not a requirement that you believe in God. Doesn't matter, since He believes in you. If you make the right decisions, then you will indeed change your circumstances.

When you say, you don't rely on anything else ... How's that working for you??

JimJim

Fred your are right ofcourse the best time to start is now.

Dog, Yes as always wise. Self destructive is never creative but it seemed so appropraite tonight.

I have dreaded going back to the drink, I must promise I'll be back without drink tommorrow or I'mn on a sorry path

ReadyAndAble

Carl keeps his promises. Listen to the man, JimJim.

Employment and love life—those are things you cannot fully control. Your addiction, on the other hand, is something you can indeed address. Please put aside all other issues. Once you've got your addiction in check, you will be in an infinitely better position to deal with all the rest.

Focus, man, focus. Don't let your addiction latch onto these other things as an excuse to keep you trapped.

JimJim

Fred, when I say I don't rely on anyhting else, It's because I am learning to believe in myslelf because there is nobody that beleives in me. I am my own maker and responsible for my own actions.

I have just broken tonight, I'm disgusted and all that crap. Heartbroken the most
In a pitifull situation possibly pissing on my pity pot as somke might say. I jusyb could not handle the heart ache tonight. Even knowing that it's not heart ache but siomething in the brainvtaht needs to be re-trained.

I hope to start tommorrow but today was an emotional eartquake for me which my brain was physically not able to capacitate.

Hevyn

JimJim - You can make it back out of this. You have a whole life waiting for you - a sober one where alcohol doesn't rule. Things look black right now, but you can turn it all around. Those drinks you're having in an attempt to calm yourself and ease your pain, are doing just the opposite. They're making you anxious and emotional. We know you won't settle for living that way.

I'm glad you came back here to talk about this. We're all on your side - you can do this.

427

Hey Jim Jim, don't give up, man! Sooooo many on here will hold you and love you and walk beside you as you heal. And I know it's really hard for a professional to need help, but your degree doesn't make you any less human...or more human. And love hurts like crazy. It truly does. Good thing, though, is we get more than one chance, and that goes w/ recovery as well. If you're a doc you know the grief process, and I would imagine you even counseled others who felt deseperate, to find they made it through and thrived. Never seems possible when you're in it, but there are examples all around you, and especially on HERE.

Next time you feel you can't go on, get on here w/ one of us. Please.

Sending you major hugs (((((Jim Jim)))))

hypochondriac

I'm sorry you are struggling JimJim x

Ignoring any choice of program here... you do not have to do this on your own! I think being overly self reliant can be a dangerous thing (speaking from my own experience). Actually getting help isn't being reliant or weak, it's just smart. I felt very alone with my problem and actually talking to people about it and realising I wasn't alone was very helpful. It sounds like you could do with some support from other people too. You have lots of choices... AA, SMART, and most local drug and alcohol agencies in the UK run group sessions too. Drinkline (0800 917 8282) can help you find what's close to you. Do something positive for yourself

JimJim

thanks for your replies folks. I value it. I need to get sober. I must try again tommorrow

It's been a kick in the heart, whatever the helol 'the heart' is. It just hurst like hell and seems I'm unable to change m,y circumstances at the momnet. All excuses. Alll god damn excuses as I have learnt.

Dee74

First thing to do Jim is get some rest.
Don't go future tripping right now.

Get some sleep, get up tomorrow - then you can start working out a plan.

I spent 18 months out of my mind after a breakup - it solved nothing and I still had the pain to deal with once I sobered up.

You slipped but there's no need to make this an avalanche

There's a lot of support here - you'll figure out the right way to proceed, Jim.

D

Someguy23

Breakups are the worst JimJim, you've got all my sympathy.

I think some relationships can become like addictions. You can lose control or compromise your dignity... and the withdrawals are hell.

I don't know the particulars... but if she hurt you this bad, it's a point of no return. And in my experience, drinking on a broken heart only makes it worse. Lowers your emotional resilience and makes it more likely you'll do something you'll regret.

I think you got good advice. Sleep, sobriety and support (chronologically) is a good plan.

fgo

jimjim... there is also avrt if it would work for you..

Veggiejojo

Thinking of you Jim,

If you don't fancy AA, I'm trying AVRT and it's working for me so far (combined with the brilliant support on SR). There's a free crash course online.

Good for you on deciding to start again tomorrow, and if you feel like a drink come on here and chat instead - works wonders. You know you can do this, you already did eight days (if I'm right?) so you know you can do another eight, and then another eight, ...

Take care and keep posting,

x

Grace2

Hi Jimjim

I hope you're feeling a bit better today and have poured that alcohol away.

I know break ups are painful, but time is a great healer, really it is.

Just let me tell you, I got married at 18, had two children, I had been married 23 years and discovered my husband was seeing someone else. I was devastated, almost had a nervous breakdown, didn't think I would survive. But I did.

For me, I had to keep as busy as possible, anything to avoid thinking about things. Your not working at the moment, but what about some voluntary work helping others? It wouldn't do you any harm and how good would that look on your c.v? Join a gym or a walking club, anything to get mixing with people.

I promise you things always have a way of working out.

Get yourself together, have a shower, shave and get yourself active.

Big hugs

Gxxx

freshstart57

JimJim, you are capable of acts of great courage and strength, as are we all. This power lives within you. You are yours to make of yourself whatever you choose. You will do what you need to do, I know, so the question that needs your answer is a simple one. When?

I believe in you. If I can help, I will.