MemphisBlues

I had to be scared into sobriety. I think it's what they call in AA as reaching your bottom. Sure, the legal system knows that someone facing jail will finally hit an AA meeting, tell the probation officer or judge that they get it this time, they will seek help for their alcoholism -- and judges and probation officers probably read that as just a last gasp of an alcoholic who had two years to get it together but didn't.

I had to realize I was getting sober for myself, not a wife or a job or fear of a jail cell.

I think that's what the first step is all about, surrendering to the fact that I cannot drink alcohol, that I am powerless over booze, that I had to give in and recognize that there is a program out there where millions have gotten and remain sober.

I congratulate you on four days, wish for the best as you face your legal issues, but have to ask, have you been to a meeting? Is there a meeting near you now, tonight, tomorrow? Are you willing to go to any lengths to get sober? I am sure you are willing to go to any length to stay out of jail, but are you willing to look inside and face what makes you drink even when drinking means jail time?

The second part of step one is admitting to ourselves that our lives had become unmanageable. To me, that meant that I would drink despite the consequences (as I got some real sober time, about six months, the unmanageable part took on new meaning, and I suspect -- and hope -- that you come to that realization, too).

Posting on SR always helped me too.

GoaStyle

Good post. I've been to a lot of meetings over the years, never consistently though. This positive test IS rock bottom for me. I looked at myself and said are you really going to throw your life away for a beers, shots and hangovers? Do I want to be happy and proud of the man I am or ashamed? Enough is enough.

I want to live a healthy, happy lifestyle and alcohol is impeding me. I will do anything it takes to rid myself of this affliction that is literally ruining my life.

There's an early riser meeting by my house at 6:45am. The problem is that I'm still learning how to get to sleep without drinking. I can't fall asleep till about 4am. Right now I'm calling veterans of the program for encouragement and support. I KNOW I have to get my butt to a meeting ASAP. Right now I'm leaning on a few friends and this site. So far so good. I'll let you know if that changes. lol

NoFireWater

I'm sorry you're going through such a scary ordeal. I'm sure you're beating yourself up over it. Maybe this is the catalyst for change, and this is a good thing hidden by a bad thing.

It might help to write down your feelings about it, your plan of action for the future, the steps you are already taking to wrestle the demon. A well thought out and sincere essay might be something a judge or officer would look upon favorably. Take responsibility for your actions, be honest, and show them you realize you have a problem and are getting help for it. Maybe offer to speak to a high school class about the dangers of drinking, or something that would help someone else and keep you out of jail at the same time.

GoaStyle

I was thinking the same.

ACT10Npack

GoaStyle, get out your legal document that you sign on what would happen if you break your probation. It's different from state to state but in most cases you will most likely will have to go through the whole probation time and not get out for good behavior. You may get a few days in jail and pay a fine and he could also add more community service and add a ankle brace. I just don't know because I don't have the legal document you sign.

If you had a lawyer for you DWI case then it's best to talk to him about this. He would know what to do. If you have been drinking all the time in those 2 years on your probation then it's best not to tell the judge about that. Just the day that you blew positive for alcohol test.

GoaStyle, did you know that you were going to see your probation officer that day?