I can't do this anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 22
I can't do this anymore
It's been 30 years of "social drinking" that went overboard now and then. Inside, I have always felt like the "overboards" really weren't ok, and I have felt torn because our culture laughs about drinking too much, talks about drinking all the time and makes it seem "normal."
I started running last year. Something about my metabolism must have changed -- I feel like physically/biologically I have a different reaction to alcohol now. Last March, after drinking Sangria with my husband, I became belligerent and very argumentative. I had never been like that. I was never one whose personality changed after drinking.
I decided to see if I could simply limit my alcohol. So I started drinking one weekend a month rather than every weekend. I started feeling much better, more at peace and a lot healthier.
Yesterday for the first time in years I purposefully went to the store to buy alcohol with the intent of using it for stress relief. My husband was out for the evening dealing with family matters, and I sat at home alone and downed nearly two bottles of wine.
Why? WHY did I do that? I don't even remember half of the evening, but I am ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, angry and fed up.
I am SO over this, but I need help/support in stopping. I came online to seek support because I do not have the option of attending live in-person meetings in my community due to the fact that it is a small community and EVERYONE talks -- nothing is sacred, nothing is secret. Believe me, I have heard numerous names from others about "who I saw at an AA meeting!" I cannot go that route.
Help!
I started running last year. Something about my metabolism must have changed -- I feel like physically/biologically I have a different reaction to alcohol now. Last March, after drinking Sangria with my husband, I became belligerent and very argumentative. I had never been like that. I was never one whose personality changed after drinking.
I decided to see if I could simply limit my alcohol. So I started drinking one weekend a month rather than every weekend. I started feeling much better, more at peace and a lot healthier.
Yesterday for the first time in years I purposefully went to the store to buy alcohol with the intent of using it for stress relief. My husband was out for the evening dealing with family matters, and I sat at home alone and downed nearly two bottles of wine.
Why? WHY did I do that? I don't even remember half of the evening, but I am ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, angry and fed up.
I am SO over this, but I need help/support in stopping. I came online to seek support because I do not have the option of attending live in-person meetings in my community due to the fact that it is a small community and EVERYONE talks -- nothing is sacred, nothing is secret. Believe me, I have heard numerous names from others about "who I saw at an AA meeting!" I cannot go that route.
Help!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
There are many ways to stop drinking, so just take a look around and you'll see lots of success stories.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
The changes you've seen could be due, simply, to the progression of the disease. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen until you stop drinking. Know that you can do this and find healthy ways to live.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
The changes you've seen could be due, simply, to the progression of the disease. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen until you stop drinking. Know that you can do this and find healthy ways to live.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
There are a lot of paths to the top of the mountain...there is more than one way to recover from alcoholism, if that's what you think your problem is.
Let me ask you, why would you be ashamed of being seen at an AA meeting, seeking to recover from an affliction not of your making?
Yet no one is ashamed to be seen at a bar...I just don't get it.
There are a lot of paths to the top of the mountain...there is more than one way to recover from alcoholism, if that's what you think your problem is.
Let me ask you, why would you be ashamed of being seen at an AA meeting, seeking to recover from an affliction not of your making?
Yet no one is ashamed to be seen at a bar...I just don't get it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Welcome to SR.
There are a lot of paths to the top of the mountain...there is more than one way to recover from alcoholism, if that's what you think your problem is.
Let me ask you, why would you be ashamed of being seen at an AA meeting, seeking to recover from an affliction not of your making?
Yet no one is ashamed to be seen at a bar...I just don't get it.
There are a lot of paths to the top of the mountain...there is more than one way to recover from alcoholism, if that's what you think your problem is.
Let me ask you, why would you be ashamed of being seen at an AA meeting, seeking to recover from an affliction not of your making?
Yet no one is ashamed to be seen at a bar...I just don't get it.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
The good news is, as Anna points out, there are other recovery methods.
Sometimes it's the struggle that determines the solution, and the lengths we will go to seek it.
Good luck. And again, welcome. SR has been my number one life line to a sober life.
Sometimes it's the struggle that determines the solution, and the lengths we will go to seek it.
Good luck. And again, welcome. SR has been my number one life line to a sober life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Welcome to SR!!! Yes there are many ways to get sober! I have tried them all... AA was the one that finally worked for me. But, I can understand your hesistation. Take your time check out the site. Check out the other ways. There is no one right way... the only right way to stop drinking is to start. 
We all need help with the stopping.
We all need help with the stopping.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Jasmine1313
Believe me, I have heard numerous names from others about "who I saw at an AA meeting!"
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Jasmine1313, please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if they pertain to you.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. When you get to the AA meetings you will find that out.
In our AA group is ministers, priests, lawyers, doctors and the Chief-of-police. The Chief's son spoke at the open meeting last night.
If you were dying of heart failure and the very Dr who could save you was a Republican and not a Democrat would you refuse his services ??
Many here will say that there are different ways to sobriety. If you are an alcoholic as described in the AA documents there is only one way. It's your call.
I believe you are realizing this isn't a game. All the best.
Bob R
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. When you get to the AA meetings you will find that out.
In our AA group is ministers, priests, lawyers, doctors and the Chief-of-police. The Chief's son spoke at the open meeting last night.
If you were dying of heart failure and the very Dr who could save you was a Republican and not a Democrat would you refuse his services ??
Many here will say that there are different ways to sobriety. If you are an alcoholic as described in the AA documents there is only one way. It's your call.
I believe you are realizing this isn't a game. All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
there are many different routes to recovery.
in my case, i didnt care who saw me fall off a bar stool and act like an idiot so i didnt care who saw me at an AA meeting and who knew. it was better for them to see i was doin something about my problem with alcohol.
in my case, i didnt care who saw me fall off a bar stool and act like an idiot so i didnt care who saw me at an AA meeting and who knew. it was better for them to see i was doin something about my problem with alcohol.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome Jasmine
Please do look at the link Anna posted - I think there's more than enough approaches there to suit anyone.
Many methods now have online options...some, like Rational Recovery, have no meetings at all.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, like RR or SMART etc.
D
Please do look at the link Anna posted - I think there's more than enough approaches there to suit anyone.
Many methods now have online options...some, like Rational Recovery, have no meetings at all.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, like RR or SMART etc.
D
sobriety date 5-2-12
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
Welcome...do some reading on these boards, read the Big Book, read other books...etc. I started out in AA, but after a few months decided it wasn't the best route for me and I've been using more AVRT principles. You can get sober- you just need to want to.
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