CaiHong

Hi Bigjim,
Glad you are here. Your family probably are incapable of giving you the support you need and you do need support. I did when I got sober AA and SR gave me the support to stay sober going on 14 months now.
Yes you really need to stop drinking altogether and focus on your sobriety. If you want things to change you have to take steps to change it and do what needs to be done.
You are young and you realize you do have a problem, so that is a good start.

Find a program and get started, read and post and find some AA meetings. Make sobriety your priority. Things will get better I promise you. You can't keep going on like this, you sound like a nice bloke and it would be a shame to ruin your life with alcohol when there is so much out there to enjoy.

I wish you all the best

Love
CaiHong

Auvers

BigJim - it is good you have found this site. There are lots of good people who understand the way alcohol can take away options for living a happy life, one by one, year by year. You can stop drinking, that is known. Cutting back and turning yourself into a moderate drinker, that is unknown. It did not work for me and I gave it a lot of time, money, tears, remorse, lost opportunities and more than can be recalled. Finally I said never again and that has been possible, after some rough going in the beginning. Hoping you find your way to a better life, sounds like a recovery program could help you find a start.

Hevyn

Hi Bigjim - I'm so glad you joined us. You aren't alone anymore - we all understand how you feel.

I also used alcohol to feel more comfortable. I was very shy and self-conscious most of my life. It seemed like the answer for me. Unfortunately, over time, it turned me into someone I barely recognized. I did out-of-character things, too. I hurt people and didn't have a clue what I'd said. I drove impaired, & could have killed someone. I showed up at work still drunk from the night before & left early to get a fix, or I'd shake. Finally, I drank all day - every day. This is what happens when alcoholism is left untreated. I was in my 50's before I finally admitted I couldn't ever control myself once I had that first drink.

I understand you not wanting to give it up - but I hope you'll be careful. It may be that you find it impossible to moderate. Having that first drink can put you in danger. That's something only you can know. We want to help in any way we can. I'm glad you've decided to reach out for help. I hope you'll feel less alone by being here. Let us know how you're doing. We care.

Live2Run25

Hey bigjim. I can relate a lot. I only had friends that I had met in the bar, and they never wanted to do anything outside of the bar. Maybe for incentive, you could stop drinking and save money to move out! You could get a place for yourself and be away from the family that is not very supportive. It may cut down on your anxiety! wishing you the best.